#57: our kind of mess (2/2)

[exolliarmus]

Our Kind of Mess...Part 2

Rejection, a voice in his head whispers menacingly, washing him cold with reality. A bead of perspiration flows down his temple as he struggles to breathe but all he's inhaling is the bitter scent of truth. His heart is pumping too fast, the one word making his head spin in circles.

That's what you're afraid of.

⬖

“Are you okay?” are the first words Jongdae says to him, eyebrows raised in inquiry.

Baekhyun keeps quiet, eyes focused on his wand. He turns towards Jongdae, muttering under his breath, wand pointed at his eyebrows, “Crinis Muto.”

The light from the tip of his wand travels to Jongdae's eyebrows, turning them into a bright, fiery red. Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing at the ridiculous image Jongdae has now and instead, turns back to his Transfiguration text book. Professor Minwoo treads, looking over at the others' progress and sends an exaggerated smile Baekhyun's way, gesturing a thumbs up at his wand work. Baekhyun nods, forcing a smile back in gratitude.

Jongdae pokes him in the side, sending a sharp pain to her ribs. Baekhyun acknowledges this with a glare directed at Jongdae whose eyes are drooping with concern, and lips in a frown. “You haven't answered my question, Baek.”

“I'm fine,” Baekhyun answers flippantly, averting his gaze back to his book, barely registering any words on the page. They dance around in his vision, and they become unclear when his eyes water slightly at the thoughts that have been invading his mind. They are coming back again, making him revel in his feelings and he's not supposed to go through this right now in the middle (or a few minutes to the end) of a Transfiguration class. And especially, not right next to his best friend who can read him as well as their textbooks splayed on their desks.

“No, you're not,” Jongdae utters under his breath as Professor Minhyuk continues his lesson. Baekhyun could barely hear the words coming out of the professor's mouth as Jongdae's words ring in his ears, sends a lurch to the pit of his stomach. “You're being afraid again.”

Baekhyun's throat is dry, voice strained as he replies, “I'm not...”

Jongdae's voice interrupts him, sharp like a knife slicing through the air and cutting his breath short. “And in denial, too.”

Baekhyun frowns, ignoring Jongdae as he tries, attempts to listen to Professor Minhyuk for once but instead, there are his ghosts repeatedly chanting Jongdae's ice cold words over and over again in his mind. He spends the last few minutes of class, staring into the blank space by the door, words going through his left ear, escaping through the right ear. He mindlessly packs up his books and strides out of the door, feeling a little empty of energy, a little full of thoughts.

Jongdae pulls Baekhyun's arm, snapping him out of his trance. He looks up at Jongdae, eyes watery, bottom lip quivering and all his best friend does is sigh.

“Let's get you out of here,” is all Jongdae says before pulling Baekhyun away from the growing crowd in the corridors, before Baekhyun's tears fall, before Baekhyun could do something stupid regrettably.

⬖

Jongdae leans against the stone wall of the bridge, eyes straight ahead, looking to the other side. Baekhyun, on the other hand, watches the too bright blue sky, with his hands hanging off the gravelly handrail. Jongdae's hair is mussed up, the works of the slightly strong wind; the first sign of winter. They continue to stand side by side, backs to each other in silence, their intakes of air are the only sign of them being there, alive. Birds are taking flight, their black wings stark against the sky and Baekhyun feels constricted in his body, aching, itching to be free, to strip himself of his robes, to live out there. There are so many things he want to be free of and one of them is his feelings.

The quirk of his lips at the sound of Baekhyun's resonating laughter, the raise of his eyebrow, inquiring, questioning. The plumpness of his upper lip, the stark line of his jaw against his full cheeks, the raspy, low tone of his voice when he's calling out Baekhyun's name, the look of something swimming in his wide eyes as he gazes at Baekhyun in the midst of their silence. His fingers tracing the skin of Baekhyun's wrist for reassurance, his death like grip on Baekhyun's wrist when he's being playful. His first moves; brushing away a lint or something on Baekhyun's face, pushing Baekhyun's fringe away from his eyes, speaking the words that send Baekhyun's heart into a frenzy, pulling and pulling Baekhyun into his traps.

“I think I like him,” Baekhyun declares, his words being carried by the breeze, gingerly travelling to Jongdae's ears. “Kyungsoo, I mean,” the syllables of his name rolling on Baekhyun's tongue like familiarity, like a sweet he's used to sucking. Jongdae turns to Baekhyun in shock, mouth gaping but it gradually changes into a smile. Relief.

There's a weight that has been sitting in his heart like a rock and it lifts, like a balloon ready to be let go by a kid's grasp. He feels like one of those birds now, taking his first flight.

“I know,” Jongdae replies, smile still intact. It's contagious, spreading onto Baekhyun's face as well. “Are you going to confess to Durmstrang boy?”

Baekhyun's slender fingers drum against the stony rail, feeling its contours under the tips of his fingers. He has his head down, but the nerves are consuming him again at the thought of even talking to Kyungsoo. “I don't know,” he settles on.

“That's not the Baekhyun I know,” Jongdae nudges Baekhyun's ribs, turning his entire body to face him. “You used to charm half of the wizards here, even the professors. What's Kyungsoo compared to them, right?”

“Kyungsoo is...” Baekhyun trails off, trying to find a word to describe the mystery that is Do Kyungsoo. Magic, the voice in his head whispers softly. “He's different,” he says instead.

“How different?”

Baekhyun faces Jongdae now, catching the glint of amusement in his eyes. “Just... different, alright?” Baekhyun rubs at his cheek, feeling self-conscious now after the revelation. “Plus, who's to say he likes me too?”

“Your confidence is astounding,” Jongdae rolls his eyes, sarcasm wedged in his nasally voice. “Just be your usual self. I don't think you have to worry about him liking you back,” Jongdae advises, cocking his eyebrow pointedly at his last set of words.

But I've confessed before, he wants to rebut as the flash of a memory passes through his head, momentarily indulging himself in the moment. Baekhyun still, bitterly remembers the feeling of rejection coursing through his veins, breaking his heart at the words from Park Sunyoung, “You're really cute and all, but I don't ... I don't like you that way, Baekhyun.” He has felt rejection, loneliness in his first year, being outcasted from the rest as he kept his mouth shut, eyes casted downwards.

Baekhyun shuts his eyes briefly, he is done with dealing with the ghosts of his past now.

“I think we need a plan,” Jongdae pipes up instead, as cheerfully as he could. Baekhyun's eyes open to the cat-like smile on Jongdae's lips, the mischief, the Beagles are known for, lingering on the corners of his mouth. “It's time to commence the Beagles again.”

⬖

“Are we seriously planning this?” Baekhyun asks incredulously as Chanyeol makes himself comfortable on the edge of Baekhyun's bed, bouncing on the mattress slightly as he squirms around. “This is ridiculous, you gu– Park Chanyeol, stop fucking bouncing or I'll cast you out!”

“I suggest you just do a clean confession,” Chanyeol speaks up, ignoring the death glare Baekhyun is sending his way and his threat. “It's fast and easy to get it over with.”

Baekhyun raises an eyebrow, lips parted to say something along the lines of “Just like you did with Jongin?” as the too tall boy, Baekhyun calls his best friend, is a hypocrite who is still, still keeping his mouth shut about his crush on the Hufflepuff yet he is here to drill Baekhyun on confessing to Kyungsoo.

Instead, Jongdae cuts him off with “No, that's not the plan we are going with.”

“Then, what do you have in mind?” Chanyeol inquires, looking up to Jongdae who is standing by Baekhyun's bedside. His tone is so serious, they almost sound like they are discussing a game plan for a Quidditch match.

“I call this 'Baekhyun Charming The Pants Off Kyungsoo (And Eventually Gets Into Them)',” Jongdae proudly announces, unscrolling a parchment with a lot of scribblings on it. Baekhyun catches a doodle at the side that is apparently a tiny, ugly version of him with 'Baekhyun sucks (Kyungsoo's dick)!' written underneath it in small characters which makes Baekhyun squint to read it.

“Dude, nice drawing,” Chanyeol points it out, grinning widely as he lands a high-five with Jongdae. “And nice title for the plan.”

“This is stupid,” Baekhyun comments, the main character of the plan yet he's being ignored by his two idiotic best friends who continue to marvel at Jongdae's 'brilliant' detailed plan on the parchment. Baekhyun sighs, before joining both of them, looking at the parchment, reading the contents.

“A box of chocolate?!” Baekhyun remarks, almost in a high pitched tone. He clears his throat before continuing, “That's so... cliché.”

Chanyeol nods along to Baekhyun's words, “I got to agree with Baek, here.”

Jongdae crosses his arms, mocking anger as he tries to defend himself, stating that “Everyone loves clichés!”

Chanyeol's shoulders shake in laughter, “Dude, I've been best friends with Kyungsoo for years and I'm pretty sure a box of chocolate is not going to help Baekhyun's case.”

Jongdae's face falls, he looks genuinely upset that Kyungsoo possibly won't like a box of chocolates. He sighs resignedly, with a pout accompanying his whine, “I just thought it'd be a good start!”

Baekhyun isn't even listening as his eyes scan the parchment laid out on the sheets of his bed. A box of chocolates to sweeten Kyungsoo's tooth! :D, it's eerie how Baekhyun can hear it in Jongdae's voice and even envision his catty smile along with it. He reads on, perhaps a good bj to get him going? Baekhyun almost wants to slap his best friend's face, slap that stupid smirk off Jongdae's face when he realises what Baekhyun has read, slap Chanyeol's face just because.

“Mistletoe?” Baekhyun reads out loud, eyebrows raised. “What do you want me to do with a mistletoe?”

“Fuck his face,” Chanyeol retorts sarcastically with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. Baekhyun is so close to cursing him, his hand is reaching for his wand, and the words are on the tip of his tongue. “Kiss him of course, you dimwit.”

Baekhyun's eyebrows scrunches together, his lips pursued to the side, trying hard not to blush, not to show that he's getting flustered over the thought of kissing Kyungsoo. The image comes into mind; his plump, heart-shaped lips, chapped lips with deep, dented marks on them from biting them too hard. Baekhyun averts his eyes from Chanyeol's, knowing that the latter is able to read his mind as easily as a book from the years of learning the emotions on Baekhyun's face, the thoughts that are interpreted from the quirks of his face. He pretends to read the parchment, but his mind is drifting, always drifting to the doe-eyed boy.

“This is so cheesy,” Baekhyun comments, pushing the parchment away from his grasp and proceeds to lie back on his soft, white pillows. “I don't do these kind of things.”

Jongdae eyes him pointedly, “This is exactly what you would do, Baek.”

Chanyeol agrees, another nod of his head. “This is so like you.”

Baekhyun throws a pillow at Chanyeol's face, the latter dodging it as quickly as he could, the pillow falls to the floor behind him. He sticks his tongue out at Baekhyun, in glee. What a five year old. Baekhyun inhales deeply, exhaling as he says to Chanyeol, “You're just agreeing with anything Jongdae says!”

“You'll do anything Jongdae says, though,” Chanyeol points out, index finger jabbing Baekhyun's nose. Baekhyun scrunches his nose. “And you will do the plan too.”

Jongdae's laughter is muffled to his ears as Baekhyun glares at Chanyeol, daringly. He grits his teeth, cracks his knuckles, trying to appear as intimidating.

“I will not.”

⬖

Baekhyun finds himself at the foot of the entrance of the library, eyes fixated on a certain boy sitting at the usual seat, by the dragon section. He once asked Kyungsoo why did he choose that section to sit at, the latter replied, the tone of his voice was playful, teasing Baekhyun. “To learn how to breathe fire like dragons, so I can burn you to ashes.”

He feels his heart burning up now, his cheeks on aflame. Baekhyun is clutching onto a box of chocolates (he gave in.) too hard that his knuckles are turning white and the packaging is crumpled slightly. He takes one, two deep breaths before stepping into the library, heading for the dragon section with a fast-paced heart and heavy footsteps.

“Listen,” Jongdae had advised before, his voice a little softer, eyes scanning the area for any signs of eavesdropping. “Be as charming as ever and then, gift the chocolate box coolly.”

Baekhyun protested, whiny, “I'm always nervous around him!”

Jongdae gripped Baekhyun's hand, looking into his eyes a little too dramatically for the situation they were in. “Coolly, Baekhyun. Be cool.”

Be cool, Baekhyun repeats now in his mind like a mantra, stay cool, be the cool, must st–

“What the fuck are you doing?” a familiar, low voice snaps him out of his mantra. Baekhyun looks up to see Kyungsoo's head tilted at him, scrutinising him with his questionable gaze. Baekhyun puts on a sheepish grin, he has been sticking to the corner when he stepped into the library, has been questioning himself and his decisions and his best friends. He has been building his courage because as much as he is a Gryffindor, Kyungsoo always strips him bare under his heavy gaze, and he needs some kind of strength and courage to face that today.

“I'm just...” Baekhyun blinks, feeling the dejavu of their first encounter. Be cool. “I'm just practicing spells.”

Nice, great job, Byun Baekhyun, Kyungsoo peers at him strangely. His eyes fall to Baekhyun's hands which are hidden behind his back, against the wall. “Let me see your hands.”

Baekhyun swallows, deeply. Be cool, you fucking idiot, he could almost hear it in Jongdae's nasal voice. He inhales once and plasters a smile on his face, as charming as he possibly could. His hands dart out from his back, presenting the box of chocolates to Kyungsoo, with a lacy, white ribbon donned on the top of a red box. He tries to level a gaze with Kyungsoo as he tries to keep his composure.

“Alright, here they are. And look!” he exclaims, hoping his pretence is believable as his eyes widen at the sight of the red box in his hands. “A gift for you!”

Kyungsoo eyes the box in Baekhyun's hands, skepticism written all over his face. He takes it from Baekhyun gingerly, cautiously like it might contain a bomb or a prank in Baekhyun's case since he is well known for those kind of things. Baekhyun watches, with anticipation and probably fear since he can't shake that off, as Kyungsoo opens the lid of the box. He watches as Kyungsoo stares for a few seconds at the assorted chocolates.

Finally, Kyungsoo lifts his chin and Baekhyun sees a strange look sporting his face, something he is unsure of, something he is unable to read. Kyungsoo has his eyes widened slightly, lips firmly pressed together, there is a tiny crease on his forehead. Baekhyun tries to ignore the urge to press his thumb onto the crease to smoothen it, to release Kyungsoo's stress or negativity.

“What is this?” Kyungsoo's lips part, finally, to ask a question which Baekhyun isn't sure of answering.

“Nothing,” Baekhyun plays it as coolly as he could, hoping Jongdae's advice is of help. “It's just chocolates.”

“Just?” Kyungsoo questions, an eyebrow raised. There is something lingering in his eyes that Baekhyun cannot comprehend, as he takes a bite of one of the chocolates. His teeth biting onto the soft texture of the chocolates, indulging in the sweet taste of it. His eyes close briefly as he is immersed in the sweetness and Baekhyun... his stomach lurches at the sight, feeling that something in the pit of his stomach.

Baekhyun inhales, sharply.

He exhales, slowly.

“I told you, they are just chocolates,” Baekhyun says, sounding a little too defensive than he intended. Kyungsoo has eaten three chocolates now, lips slightly tainted with the brownish colour of the sweets. There is a bit of chocolate at the corner of his mouth and Baekhyun's hand itches to move, to do something.

Instead, he points it out, index finger gesturing to his own mouth, “You have chocolate there.”

Kyungsoo's eyes widen, almost embarrassed and Baekhyun almost coos at the sight of his abashment. “Where?” His fingers frantically rubs his lips, yet they keep missing the spot. Baekhyun sighs, yet his insides jump in joy at the opportunity.

“Here, let me,” Baekhyun says, hand already lifting from his sides to brush that fortunate bit of chocolate off Kyungsoo's mouth. His thumb brushes at the swellness of his bottom lip, feeling Kyungsoo's shiver under his touch and catching onto the bit of chocolate. He picks it off Kyungsoo's mouth, sensing the familiar stare Kyungsoo has him under. Baekhyun licks the chocolate off his finger, eyes meeting Kyungsoo's as the latter gazes at his lips and his tongue tasting the chocolate that has been on Kyungsoo's lips a few seconds before.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, his voice a little strained. Baekhyun catches Kyungsoo's Adam apple bobbing as he swallows. “Not for that, if you do it again, I'll cut your fingers off.”

Baekhyun bursts into a laugh, and it cracks a smile on Kyungsoo's lips. “But thank you for the chocolates, they are delicious.”

“No problem,” Baekhyun replies, amusement seeped in his voice.

Kyungsoo is looking at him differently now, with his eyes levelled with Baekhyun's, brighter than before. Baekhyun wants to read him, wants to know but Kyungsoo merely maintains his stare as he takes another chocolate in between his lips. Baekhyun's eyes flick to the action of Kyungsoo's teeth biting onto the chocolate, tongue lapping up the sweetness of it. Baekhyun's throat is dry. Kyungsoo is observing him, a half smirk on those chocolate stained lips. It's almost like he's teasing.

“You seem to have a sweet tooth,” Baekhyun comments, throat still too dry.

Something sparks in Kyungsoo's eyes. “Yeah, I do,” he agrees, his tone a little playful than before.

Baekhyun takes a step backwards, his heart is heavier than his feet now, weighing him down. There is also something constantly lurching in his stomach, making him sick with need. Baekhyun thought he had the courage of a lion, but he is not so certain anymore. With Kyungsoo in front of him, he feels like a tangle of limbs, nerves popping up like spots on his skin. He intends to run away again, to turn away.

But Kyungsoo sees this, he notices the change of expression in Baekhyun's eyes and he says tenderly, “Stay.” He clears his throat, licking his bottom lip. “Sit with me, study with me, do whatever you want but stay.”

Baekhyun's eyes find his, sees the courage he has been looking for in Kyungsoo, realises that he doesn't have to keep running, realises that what he needs to do is to stay.

And he does.

⬖

Winter arrives, too early, in the form of snow piling on the branches of the trees, scarves, colours of their individual houses scattered in the crowd, that are wrapped around wizards' necks with pride, excited chit chats about the holidays. It comes in the form of growing cold by Baekhyun's side and the inescapable memories of his holidays years back. There's white snow blurring his line of vision as he peeks out the window, there are snowball fights deafening his ears as he tries really hard to focus on the pile of homework he has, there is Kyungsoo with a muted green coloured scarf wrapped around his neck for warmth and a sleepy smile refusing to relent to the cold.

With winter, comes the inevitable trip to Hogsmeade and as much as Baekhyun tries to indulge himself in other things, trying to forget about the trip, Chanyeol doesn't permit it.

“What if Jongin thinks it's nothing?” Chanyeol speaks again, for the fifth time since he's stepped into the quarters, pacing in front of the windows. It is almost driving Baekhyun insane, to see how much of a hypocrite Chanyeol is. “What if it isn't a date to him like it is to me?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, “Did you say it was a date?”

Chanyeol pauses in his tracks, his body facing Baekhyun. He's nibbling on his bottom lip, out of habit, out of nervousness. “I don't think so... I just assumed..."

“Well, just smoothly say it's a date during the trip,” Baekhyun returns his focus back to his doodles on his Charms book. “That'll get him good.”

“I'm not smooth!” Chanyeol panics, pacing the floor again, probably planning to dig his feet into the wooden floor.

“Glad you know,” Baekhyun mutters under his breath, doodling a certain doe-eyed boy, drawing the swell of his upper lip, accompanied with his wide-eyed stare. There's something poking at his mind, a thought he doesn't want to succumb to, but it does anyway. It consumes his mind, wondering if Kyungsoo has someone on his mind whom he's going to Hogsmeade with, or if he's going at all.

The room goes quiet. The two of them are too caught up in their own thoughts, to preoccupied to bother filling the silence that settles between them. It isn't unusual, it's one of the reasons why Baekhyun gets along with Chanyeol so well, one of the reasons why he's Baekhyun's best friend. Baekhyun sneaks a peek at Chanyeol, sees him sitting on his bed still nibbling on his bottom in deep thought. He lets out a sigh, puts down his quill and strides over to the younger's bed, settling on the soft mattress next to Chanyeol.

“Jongin likes me right?” Chanyeol asks, eyes searching Baekhyun's for an answer. “I'm not... being delusional, right?”

If there's anything that Baekhyun has learnt about the giant in the years he has been friends with him, it's that he pays attention to all the little details but he remains oblivious to the details pertaining himself. He has taken care of Baekhyun, tended to his scars, brought him back to himself by speaking up first, stepping up to take Baekhyun's hand to lead him back into the reality he has left, forgotten.

And so, Baekhyun smiles with all the sincerity he has in himself. “The kid definitely likes you, Chanyeolie.” He takes the step now, grabbing Chanyeol's hand and tickling the skin on his wrist with a light brush of his fingers. It brings the tiniest smile upon Chanyeol's face, it's enough for now. “It's going to work out between you and Jongin, I'm sure.”

Chanyeol flicks his eyes upwards from his lap to meet Baekhyun's, “And you and Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun almost drops his hand, blinking, “What do you mean?”

Chanyeol's reading him now, scrutinising him for any pretense, any forced smiles. There isn't any, Baekhyun wants to assure him, this is all me, I'm not losing myself anytime soon. As he thought about it, he realises it's the truth and he lets it consume his features, showing the purity of his content with how things are right now.

“Is it going to work out?” Chanyeol has his eyebrows raised, teasingly but his eyes are serious, inquiring.

The spark of something dark behind those eyes, the lurching sensation in the pit of Baekhyun's stomach, his lips forming the word 'stay', the hand on his thigh, reassuring himself that Baekhyun's there, he's staying.

Baekhyun lets a little smile show, “Hopefully.” And he means it.

Chanyeol leans in, another smile developing on his own lips. “It will.” And he means it.

⬖

Baekhyun tugs on the ends of his very own Gryffindor scarf and he takes one last look at the mirror, checking his hair before Jongdae is pushing him off with a complaining groan, “You take so long to get ready.”
“I'm just checking my scarf, you impatient toad.”

“Or someone is trying to dress up for a certain someone,” Jongdae winks at him through the reflection on the mirror. Baekhyun ignores him, focusing on his outfit instead. He's wearing a pair of denim jeans, a striped blue sweater which was a Christmas gift from Jongdae's mother, and a black coat to keep himself warm. There's nothing remotely fancy about his outfit, he just wants to look nice for once. Baekhyun does admit that it's a slight upgrade from the ratty tees he would wear with the signature black coat, which causes him to complain about the cold when he's out and about in Hogsmeade, ducking into shops for the warmth.

Baekhyun isn't even sure if the certain someone is going. He was going to ask Chanyeol about it but the taller boy couldn't sleep a wink, his nerves acting up at the prospect of going on a Hogsmeade date with the Hufflepuff kid. When his alarm went off that morning, Chanyeol practically jumped out of his bed, rushing into the bathroom and then, making a mess out of his clothes as he grumbled about his lack of fashion sense and panicked once again about his date with Jongin. Jongdae kicked him out, almost punching Chanyeol in the face for the commotion early in the morning.

Now, Baekhyun stands next to Jongdae, eyes scanning the group of Slytherins for that particular black-haired, wide-eyed boy but he falls short. He walks over to Sehun who is putting on his beanie, ruffling his hair. Baekhyun grabs the beanie from him, earning a surprised gasp from Sehun but the expression on his face quickly transforms into a face of usual indifference when he realises that it's just Baekhyun being his usual self.

Baekhyun pats Sehun's bangs down, and carefully envelopes his crown of head in his knitted, blue beanie. Once he's done, Baekhyun pinches Sehun's cheeks and coos at him as annoyingly as he can muster, “How cute, my Sehunnie!”

Sehun slaps his hands away, rubbing at his now reddened cheek, courtesy of his pale skin. “Can you not do that?”

Baekhyun grins cheekily, eyes crinkled at the corners. He pretends to search for someone behind Sehun and flits his eyes back to the boy, voice dropping down to a whisper as he asks, “Where's Kyungsoo?”

Sehun does a roll of his eyes, the corners of his mouth threatening to tug upwards, “You could have just asked from the beginning, y'know.”

Baekhyun sends a punch to Sehun's chest lightly, “Answer the question.”

Sehun leans back, head tilting, “He's in the Slytherin tower, he couldn't come along.”

A crease forms in between of Baekhyun's eyebrows, taking in Sehun's words. “Why not?” The corners of his mouth turn downwards slightly in a form of a frown.

Sehun shrugs, glances at his friends and immediately waves at Baekhyun when he sees them calling out for him. “I have to go, see you at Hogsmeade!” Sehun jogs towards his Slytherin mates, Taemin enveloping him in a shoulder hug as they start their trip.

Baekhyun's frown remains, as Jongdae approaches him with a cock of his eyebrow, “Are you coming along?” And Baekhyun isn't sure why but he shakes his head, steps tracking backwards into the haven of Hogwarts.

“I'll be there,” Baekhyun says, promises instead and Jongdae nods at him, uncertainty in his footsteps as he joins the other Gryffindors.

“Are you not joining the rest?” a voice inquires behind him and Baekhyun turns to see the source of it, realising it is just Professor Junmyeon being concerned. He shakes his head, forcing a smile on for show and reassuring the elder, “I forgot something, I'm just going to grab it before going to Hogsmeade.”

And then, Baekhyun runs in the opposite direction of the Gryffindor tower, into the heart of the Slytherin tower.

As Baekhyun approaches the entrance of the Slytherin common room, he is filled with the realisation that he has never stepped foot here, never had the mind to. He glances, timidly, all around at the darkness in the corridor, at the glowing green torches that are the only source of light in the tower. Baekhyun stands outside the entrance, realising with a pang that he has no access into the common room, no absolute way of calling out Kyungsoo. He leans against the wall, trying to think of a way, something, to try to get into the Slytherin common room when the portrait swings inwards, revealing someone exiting the common room. Baekhyun's about to grab the person, he's about to plead for entrance into the room he's prohibited to go in when he recognises the shape of the person's crown of his hair against the shadows of the darkness, the slope of his nose and his slumped, narrow shoulders out of habit.

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun cries out, alarming the latter as he jumps in surprise at Baekhyun's sudden, loud voice. His shoulders fall forward again at the sight of Baekhyun's face, his own expression turning into a perplexed one at Baekhyun's figure in the corridor of his house's tower.

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo hisses, sauntering over to Baekhyun, grabbing his wrist to pull him away from the entrance.

Baekhyun can't help himself, he indulges in the warmth radiating off Kyungsoo, in the grasp Kyungsoo has him in. “Why aren't you going to Hogsmeade with the rest?”

Kyungsoo drops his gaze, drops his hand from Baekhyun's wrist and Baekhyun almost, almost grabs Kyungsoo's hand instead to have the feeling of his skin against his again but then Kyungsoo parts his lips. “I didn't have the permission slip.”

“That's it?” Baekhyun says, his chest heaving. “God, Kyungsoo, you should have told me.”

Kyungsoo has his signature eyebrow raised, “Why should I?”

There's the glint of mischief in Baekhyun's eyes, mischief on the lines of his mouth as it tugs sideways in a smirk. And he sees Kyungsoo stare at him, still questioning, still assessing. Baekhyun's mouth falls open in a whisper, hoping to reel Kyungsoo in, “Follow me.”

He doesn't give Kyungsoo a chance to answer, he merely pulls on Kyungsoo's wrist, tightly at first but gingerly afterwards when he realises that Kyungsoo isn't going to go anywhere, he's not running away like Baekhyun usually does. He keeps his grip on Kyungsoo, even when he's certain that the boy would follow his tracks, just to have a little reassurance to himself. He maneuvers through the castle, memories of the corridors marked into the back of his head out of the years he has spent here through childhood.

Baekhyun leads them up the stairs, taking every step with Kyungsoo. The boy is silent, eyes fixated on Baekhyun's figure as he follows the latter down every hallway, up every stairway. Baekhyun stops in front of a statue; a one-eyed witch, to be particular.

He swivels around, sees Kyungsoo's questionable gaze at the statue and then at Baekhyun. Baekhyun gestures to the statue with his wand, tapping on the statue with the tip of his wand and muttering out loud enough for the two of them to hear, “Dissendium.”

The statue starts to move to reveal a slide underneath, the hole only big enough for a single person to fit through. Baekhyun hears Kyungsoo's gasp and turns to see the boy widen his eyes at the darkness occupying the trip down, his gape at the secrecy and the risk of the passage.

“Does this lead to...?” Kyungsoo asks rhetorically, eyes still fixated on the hollowness of the secret passage. Baekhyun nods, explaining further,“Yeah, technically, it leads into the cellar of Honeydukes but nonetheless, Hogsmeade.”

Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun now, a question lingering his doe-eyed gaze. “How do you even find out about these things?”

Baekhyun mocks a hurtful gasp, presses his palm against his chest. “It's in the nature of a Beagle,” he enunciates the syllables clearly for Kyungsoo to hear, like he's the oblivious one to Baekhyun's persona. “Of course, I would know this stuff.”

“Am I supposed to just slide down this thing?” Kyungsoo inquires, eyeing the passageway with doubts lined with his glance. The doubts remain as he turns back to Baekhyun, waiting for an answer.

“Yeah, and you'll end up in Honeydukes,” Baekhyun affirms, nodding along to his sentence to hopefully reassure the boy. Kyungsoo diverts his eyes to the passageway, his doubts flying away as he straightens his shoulders and takes a deep breath. He takes a step, two steps, three steps, before he is finally facing the hole. Baekhyun can see the gulp of Kyungsoo's throat and he tries to rub some assurance into the boy, by drawing circles on Kyungsoo's shoulder with pad of his thumb. He tenses under Baekhyun's touch, but he leans into the touch, letting the comfort overwhelm him. Baekhyun hides his smile behind the palm of his other hand.

“Go on, I'll meet you on the other side,” Baekhyun pushes at Kyungsoo's shoulder, hoping it'll propel him further into taking the leap.

Baekhyun can't see anything but he can hear the smile in his voice as Kyungsoo says, “Riding hippogriffs and sliding down a hole. The things I do for you, Byun Baekhyun.” And then, he crawls into the hole, pushing himself off, down the slide, leaving Baekhyun standing in the silence of Hogwarts.

Kyungsoo's words are still ringing in his ears, filling the silence and darkness as he, too, takes the slide down to Honeydukes. Baekhyun meets Kyungsoo's smile on the other end and feels it fill himself with more bliss than the candies residing in the shop itself. Kyungsoo reaches out first, fingers brushing Baekhyun's hand, with his eyes asking is this okay? are you okay? and Baekhyun nods, eyes shining. He relies on Kyungsoo's strength as he has none left in him, staring directly into the soft smile Kyungsoo has on his lips. He lets himself be pulled to his feet, to regain his footing on the steady, wooden floors by Kyungsoo's hands. He lets himself be pulled and pushed at the expense of Kyungsoo.

The hole automatically seals itself as Baekhyun climbs out of it, closing the secret passage between Hogwarts and Honeydukes. Baekhyun could hear the boisterous commotion in the shop as wizards enter and leave with a bag filled with candies to satisfy their sweet tooths. He could hear the bargains, the excitement, the cry of happiness at the sight of all the candy residing in the shop. Baekhyun sneaks a peek at Kyungsoo in the corner of his eye and finds the latter gazing at him with a strange expression like he's trying to figure Baekhyun out.

Baekhyun ignores the thumping of his pulse against his wrists, ignores the warnings going off in his head alarmingly. He ignores it all and leans into Kyungsoo, close enough that his breath is hitting the shell of Kyungsoo's ear directly. Baekhyun whispers not so softly as he intends to, “Want some chocolate frogs to satisfy your sweet cravings, Do Kyungsoo?”

And Kyungsoo jerks at the sound of Baekhyun's voice, or his words or perhaps his breath tickling his skin but nonetheless, the latter keeps a playful smile on. It's his turn to play with Baekhyun's feelings, turn his insides into a confused, tangled mess, turns his heart into a fast paced racing car, spinning his thoughts around with no control. He angles his head slightly, to greet the shell of Baekhyun's ear now with his own breath tickling Baekhyun's earlobe.

“I'm not sure if I'm craving for the chocolate or something else.”

His breathy, raspy voice sends tingles down Baekhyun's spine. And there goes another victory for Kyungsoo, another win for making Baekhyun's legs wobble slightly, for making his throat go dry, for making his fingers itch to do, move, touch. Baekhyun has his eyes fixated on a spot behind Kyungsoo's shoulder and although he's not focusing on Kyungsoo, he can envision the growing smirk on his lips, the glint of that something that he hasn't figured out because Kyungsoo is Kyungsoo and he never gives himself away.

Sometimes, Baekhyun sighs inwardly, it's like meeting the past.

His voice is strained, a little too tense at the edges as he replies, “There is a variety of sweets below, you can find something else indeed.”

Kyungsoo's eyes are too bright, and Baekhyun isn't used to this. He's used to his own light taking over for both of them, brightening the room for both of them. He's not used to the light in Kyungsoo's eyes, he isn't used to the taunts behind those twitchy lips, he isn't used to this. Baekhyun hasn't seen this side of Kyungsoo and he files it away in his memory, as another quirk he has learnt about the doe-eyed boy, another feature to lov– admire.

Baekhyun finds his insides turning over once again, the burn low in his abdomen at the words which leave Kyungsoo's plump, too chapped lips, “Oh, I don't think it's necessary for me to find it anymore.”

And Baekhyun is reeled in, once again, losing his footing on the ground he had found haven on.

⬖

“You're honestly bringing me to a joke shop?”

Baekhyun waggles his eyebrows at Kyungsoo with a grin intact on his face. He can't even feel the cold anymore, it's not crippling up his body, freezing his veins and arteries like all the times he has been to Hogsmeade. Instead, he indulges in the warmth that is radiating off Kyungsoo, sticking himself close to Kyungsoo's figure. He thinks to himself, preparing excuses about the weather if Kyungsoo ever asked, but the latter keeps mum, merely tenses at the contact and eases into it a few seconds after. Baekhyun has eyed Kyungsoo's lone hand by his side, has thought about sliding his fingers in between Kyungsoo's, finding more warmth in the press of his palm against Kyungsoo's.

For now, he settles for the warmth from Kyungsoo's shoulders, travelling to Baekhyun's heart, and the gentle smile on Kyungsoo's face.

“Why not?” Baekhyun rests his hand on the doorknob of Zonko's Joke Shop, already hearing the noise intertwined with laughter inside. His toes curl in, he bites his bottom lip from breaking out into a wider grin. But Kyungsoo sees the eagerness in Baekhyun as he gives it away by jumping a little on his heels.

Kyungsoo does an exaggerated roll of his eyes but his smile grows softer, melts the cold surrounding Baekhyun a little. “Lead the way, Byun. It better be worth it.”

“It will be,” is all Baekhyun whispers as he opens the door to the joke shop, revealing his favourite place in Hogsmeade, for Kyungsoo to enter.

The brightness of the shop hits him first, along with the loud, noisy atmosphere of not only the elation spilling out of the other customers' mouths but also the colourful, vivid imagery of the products lined on the shelves in the shop. Baekhyun's very own excitement grows within him and his kid self comes out alive as he gapes at the products along with the other wizards. Kyungsoo is silent beside him, his mouth gaping as well at the vibrance of the entire shop.

Baekhyun's very first memory of this shop was from when he was merely a twelve year old, visiting Hogsmeade with his parents. He seems to have a knack for ignoring warnings, as he didn't pay close attention to the lectures by his parents, the stern tone of his father. Baekhyun wanders off into the depth of Hogsmeade by himself, his twelve year old self gaping at everything around him. He was a little smaller, puberty not having taken its toll on him yet, drowned in the crowd of wizards but without the usual fear cradling his heart. Baekhyun felt the eagerness of a twelve year old, felt the curiousity of a cat, felt the desire to explore as he popped into different shops, finding one to his liking. When he found Zonko's Joke Shop, the interior screaming 'Enter!' to him, he reached for the door knob and opened the door into his newfound favourite place.

Baekhyun almost laughs, settling for a small smile at the fond memory of his twelve year old discovering his true nature in a joke shop, discovering his interest among the many tricks and jokes found in the shop. He also met Jongdae there, the latter accidentally setting off a dungbomb on Baekhyun. Jongdae apologised profusely, clutching the remains of the dungbomb, but Baekhyun was too blissed to care about the smell. He offered a hand to Jongdae, instead, introducing himself to Jongdae, feeling the courage bubble in him. Jongdae was his very first friend, and Baekhyun's twelve year old inwardly breathed a sigh of relief at the knowledge of Jongdae being in the same year, same house as him.

Now, Baekhyun feels the same courage bubbling in him from his twelve year old self, as he approaches Kyungsoo silently and sneakily. The doe-eyed boy turns his head, lips parted to say something or perhaps, ask a question like What the fuck are you sneaking up on me for, Byun? He doesn't have the time to even speak as Baekhyun slaps a monstrous-looking creature to bite his nose repeatedly.

Kyungsoo cries out in shock, in panic. His eyes go cross-eyed from staring at his nose, trying to sustain the slight pain from being bitten on his nose by a monstrous-looking toy. Kyungsoo squeezes the toy in his hand, pulling it off his nose, leaving the skin on the tip of his nose a slight red. Baekhyun bursts into a peal of laughter, eyes crinkling at the sight of Kyungsoo's red nose and his very death like glare on Baekhyun's shaking shoulders and giggles of laughter spilling out of Baekhyun's lips.

“What in Merlin's beard?” Kyungsoo breathes out, the fury is still burning in his eyes, matching the redness of his nose.

Soon, the death glare dissipates into an expression of amusement and he lets out a chuckle himself, the tight line of his lips softening into a small grin directed at Baekhyun. There's fondness lingering in his pupils, making Baekhyun choke a little on his laughter, inhaling and exhaling frantically at the sight. Baekhyun pauses for a second, teeters on his heels before his fingers reach out to rub at the tip of Kyungsoo's nose. Kyungsoo twitches his nose under Baekhyun's sudden touch, but he doesn't pull away, he merely watches with his eyes focusing a little too much on Baekhyun's every move.

Baekhyun rubs on the redness of his nose with his thumb, swallowing, his Adam apple bobbing, “Does it hurt really bad?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, laughs a little, “No, of course not, silly.” He sends a punch to Baekhyun's arm, that's more like the Kyungsoo he knows. “What was that for?”

Baekhyun's smile is pinched at the corners, to restrain the real smile fighting to break out. To taunt you for all the times you've made my heart race. “Just experimenting,” he answers instead.

“Experimenting?” Kyungsoo asks, the usual eyebrow cocked in inquiry.

“Y'know,” Baekhyun realises his thumb is still patting the redness on Kyungsoo's nose, realises Kyungsoo's gaze wandering between his thumb and his face. He drops his thumb, shoving his hands into his pockets, feeling loneliness wraps through the gaps of his fingers under the veil of his coat. “Just Beagle stuff.”

“Again, with the Beagle stuff,” Kyungsoo makes a 'tsk' sound in the back of his throat, the consonant sounding a little too low than what Baekhyun expects. “Do you think I'm fit to be part of the Beagles?” he inquires with another one of his teasing smiles, pulling and pulling until Baekhyun has fallen, has given in, has succumbed.

“You? A Beagle?” Baekhyun scoffs. “Maybe in another lifetime.” Kyungsoo hits his arm again, revealing his real self once more. Baekhyun pretends to wince in pain at Kyungsoo's punches, smiles cheekily at Kyungsoo and witnesses another roll of his eyes at the ever melodramatic Baekhyun. “Why would you want to be part of us anyway?”

Kyungsoo drops his gaze to the floor, the noise of the joke shop enveloping them for the first time since they stepped in. Despite the many toys and products on display for Baekhyun to try and explore, the only thing Baekhyun seems to want to explore is the depth of Kyungsoo's thoughts and perhaps... the inside of his mouth, the roof of his teeth, the fullness of his upper lip. There are so many things in the joke shop for Baekhyun to yield to and yet, he wants to learn all the little things about a doe-eyed boy.

His twelve year old self would be disappointed in him, for ignoring the wonder and amazement of the joke shop to pay attention to a mere boy.

Kyungsoo flicks his eyes upwards, peering at Baekhyun through half lidded eyes. Baekhyun's heart is thumping too fast again, he's trying to comprehend and Kyungsoo parts his lips to answer.

“Why wouldn't I?”

Because you're not us, Baekhyun wants to retort, because it's not you most importantly. Because we are nothing but three idiots actually, there's nothing extravagant about that.

“Either way,” Baekhyun replies instead, half grinning at Kyungsoo. “You do not possess the qualities of a Beagle.”

Kyungsoo is still peering at him curiously, strangely. The glint that Baekhyun still hasn't had the leisure of knowing is still in those eyes, and Baekhyun wishes, wishes he has the knowledge of what it is because his stomach is doing lurches again at the sight and his lips are too chapped, too dry. He licks his bottom lip, sensing Kyungsoo's eyes following his every move. The drumming of his pulse on his wrists isn't slowing down anytime soon, his nerves are always on overdrive.

It almost makes him insane.

Kyungsoo straightens up, now, adding height to his body as he faces Baekhyun properly. There is still the tauntness around the lines of his mouth, still testing Baekhyun, still adding to the thumping of his poor, fist-sized heart.

“You don't know me,” Kyungsoo muses, amusement wielded in his voice. A chuckle.

You're right, Baekhyun almost wants to blurt out in his own tone of amusement and sadness tangled together. I don't.

But no, Baekhyun ignores the burn of the words of his thought and forces a laugh out for the crinkles at the ends of Kyungsoo's eyes. He jerks his chin towards both the entrance and exit of Zonko's Joke Shop, “Do you want to leave?”

Kyungsoo's eyes widen slightly, “You're not getting anything from your favourite place?”

How do you kno– Baekhyun swallows the words down and shakes his head, feet already taking steps on their own backwards to the door. Kyungsoo is following him, feet in sync with Baekhyun's, eyes questioning Baekhyun's actions as always. Baekhyun finds anchor in the doorknob, holding onto it as Kyungsoo's stare burns onto his skin, leaving traces with the trail of his eyes.

“I don't think I need anything from here,” Baekhyun replies as he gazes longingly at the imagery of Kyungsoo's small smile with the vividness of the joke shop as the backdrop and he realises that he doesn't, indeed, need anything at all.

As they leave Zonko's Joke Shop with their feet trudging in the white,deep expanse of snow, Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun, a question leaving his lips, “What else do you intend to show me in Hogsmeade?”

His eyebrow is questioning, daring Baekhyun to answer and it's in Baekhyun's nature really. “Not much really except the best beverage in town!”

“Butterbeer?” Kyungsoo scrunches his nose at the name, not looking as enthusiastic as Baekhyun is. “I've heard of it... I'm not so sure if I should...”

Baekhyun grasps on Kyungsoo's elbow, without thinking. He never does, anyway. He immediately starts pulling on Kyungsoo's elbow, taking his surprise to Baekhyun's advantage as he allows himself to be led by Baekhyun to the Three Broomsticks. His eyes keep dropping to the grip Baekhyun's hand has on Kyungsoo's elbow, and Baekhyun tries to ignore those inquiring eyes, tries to ignore everything else. He has learnt to avoid these feelings since a young age, has learnt to not pay attention to any voice warning him in his head.

When Baekhyun stops abruptly in front of a wooden inn, he drops his hand from Kyungsoo's elbow, immediately feeling the absence of warmth, immediately missing the feel of Kyungsoo's skin. He gestures exaggeratedly at the Three Broomsticks with two arms spread wide open. He exclaims loud enough for Kyungsoo to hear through the bustling inside the inn, “Welcome to the Three Broomsticks, Durmstrang boy!”

Kyungsoo elbows him in the ribs, sending a jab of pain up his sides. Baekhyun whimpers in mock pain, holding his sides, trying to look as pitiful as possible to Kyungsoo but the latter ignores this and he hisses through gritted teeth, “Don't be so embarrassing. It's bad enough that you're forcing me to try butterbeer.”

“You'll love it,” Baekhyun asserts, tugging on the sleeve of Kyungsoo's coat, it's his turn now to reel him in. He pushes the doors open to the Three Broomsticks, exposing himself to the glamorous scene of the pub slash inn.

There are a couple of sixth years Baekhyun recognises, separated in their own groups of friends in different tables. The interior of the pub is darker than he expected, it has been a while since he last came here anyway. Baekhyun has been too exposed to the brightness of the summer sun and the heart-shaped grin on Kyungsoo's lips that he has forgotten what darkness feels or looks like. The interior looks like such a contrast to the white snow piled on every walking path, the weather this winter going all out with its winds and cold.

Baekhyun leads Kyungsoo to the bar instead of the tables, preferring to sit on the high stools. It is also empty, everyone has tended to the tables, occupying the seats. Baekhyun hops on a stool, turning to see Kyungsoo doing the same. He had the same gaping expression from the joke shop when he walked into the Three Broomsticks, probably expecting more from the fuss of the pub. Baekhyun can't blame him as he had the same set of expectations, stepping into the Three Broomsticks for the first time with Chanyeol. The butterbeer makes up for it, though.

“Two butterbeers, please!” Baekhyun calls out. The barman turns around to give a nod in acknowledgement of his order.

Almost immediately after, not leaving Baekhyun and Kyungsoo any time to wait, the two mugs of butterbeer arrive at their expertise. The barman cocks a hip out, “That'll be four sickles, kid.”

Baekhyun searches his pockets for the money as Kyungsoo slides four sickles over to the barman, paying for their drinks. Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo, disbelief written all over his features. His lips are turned down in a natural frown, “I was supposed to pay for that!”

Kyungsoo wraps his hands around the mug, still teetering on the edges, unsure if he should take a swig of it just yet. “I didn't say you have to.”

“Let me pay my half at least,” Baekhyun begins his search for his money again, patting his pockets but Kyungsoo's hand stops him, warm from the hotness of the beverage or from the change of temperature in the pub. Either way, Baekhyun's pulse jumps at the contact of skin and the intensity of Kyungsoo's gaze.

“Don't,” Kyungsoo presses his hand onto Baekhyun's hand for a while longer before pulling away and settling it on the counter instead. “Don't even bother.”

“Thank you,” Baekhyun says, his hand unmoving from the spot. He still feels the trace of Kyungsoo fingers on him, drumming slightly in impatience. He lifts his gaze from Kyungsoo to his mug of butterbeer. He grabs the handle of the tankard, holding it out to Kyungsoo, putting on a smile for show. “Cheers!” he knocks against Kyungsoo's own tankard lightly, it enunciates a small laugh out of Kyungsoo's mouth.

Baekhyun's smile grows, more naturally now.

They both take a swig of the butterbeer at the same time. Baekhyun wallows in the hotness of the butterbeer, feels the liquid burn down his throat, warming his insides. He licks off the foam above his upper lip, eyes wandering off to Kyungsoo to see the boy swallowing the liquid down. There is a foam mustache above his own upper lip, but he's oblivious, continuing to warm his hands on the exterior of the mug.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun starts, the boy turning around to look at him questioningly. His eyebrows raise for a second, and he jerks his chin towards Baekhyun like what is it? what do you want? I drank your stupid favourite beverage already. Baekhyun shakes his head, juts his thumb out to point at Kyungsoo's lips. “You have foam above your lips.”

Kyungsoo forms an 'o' with his mouth, making the foam mustache look more and more ridiculous on him. Baekhyun's own hands twitch, as Kyungsoo licks the foam off with his tongue, sweeping over his upper lip, catching onto the foam, tasting it. Baekhyun averts his eyes to his mug, his own thoughts whirling around in a daze. There are so many wants in his head and he doesn't have the strength, the bravery to do anything at all.

It is driving Baekhyun insane.

“It's good,” Kyungsoo says, still licking his lips, probably for any remnants of the foam earlier. You could taste it on my tongue, Baekhyun wants to suggest but he keeps his lips pressed into a thin line, restraining himself. “Sweet but really good.”

“Don't you have a sweet tooth?” Baekhyun retorts. “You have satisfied it now.”

Kyungsoo's voice is softer, a little more tender than Baekhyun expected. “I have satisfied it a long time ago.”

Another lurch in the pit of his stomach. Baekhyun keeps his eyes on his own beverage, focusing on the swirl of his finger on the rim of his mug. His finger has caught onto the remains of the foam on the rim, but Baekhyun isn't really paying attention to anything but the breathing of Kyungsoo beside him.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun begins, calling out his name again. Baekhyun isn't looking but he knows Kyungsoo has turned his head towards him, ears perked up, ready to listen and an eyebrow cocked, ready for questions. It seems so easy to just think of the words, to mouth it, to practise it in front of a mirror. It's easy to pile the words on your tongue, but it is so difficult for Baekhyun to find the strength in him to utter them out loud. It is so difficult for him to find his own voice to say it in, losing it in the depth of his throat. But he can't back down now, he has called Kyungsoo's name out. “Why do you stay in the library during breaks?”

Without even looking, Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo has his eyes widened in surprise and it makes him wonder really, how much has he paid attention to the Durmstrang boy, how much has he committed to his memory on the little things revolving around Kyungsoo, how much has he devoted his time into thinking and thinking about this certain boy sitting next to him. It feels like familiarity and yet, Baekhyun still feels like he doesn't know Kyungsoo just yet. There are still so many things beyond that mask Kyungsoo wears, behind the walls Kyungsoo has built up with such a strong foundation that it is probably impossible to break down those walls yourself.

“I...” Kyungsoo trails off, probably thinking about this as much as Baekhyun. “Do you want the truth?”

And Baekhyun nods, he wants the entire truth even if it may hurt.

“I'm just not comfortable sitting at the Slytherin table,” Kyungsoo explains, his voice is deadpanned like he doesn't care that much about this, hasn't thought about it as much as Baekhyun actually. “If I had another place to reside at than the library, I would rotate around places.”

Baekhyun chooses this moment to look up from his mug, catching the spark in Kyungsoo's eyes as he continues, “I had my faith in a certain person to show me around Hogwarts but the person seems to have forgotten.”

It's probably just another tease but Baekhyun has done his fair share of reading people. He sees the sincerity behind Kyungsoo's layer of amusement and he gulps, aching for the hot butterbeer to burn his throat down again, to have another distraction but his tankard is empty and so is Kyungsoo's.

There is still foam piled on Baekhyun's index finger like the snow outside piled on a tree branch or a rock, he pokes the tip of Kyungsoo's nose with it, tainting his milky skin with the white foam. Baekhyun takes the moment of surprise in Kyungsoo's expression to pull him up to his feet.

It's his turn to keep pulling on Kyungsoo's wrist, it's his turn to give Kyungsoo a taste of his own medicine but he knows deep down that Kyungsoo wouldn't trip on his two feet like Baekhyun would.

So, instead, Baekhyun does what he does best. He smiles as bright as he could to replace the absence of the summer sun in the sky and keeps on tugging on Kyungsoo's wrist to the doors of the Three Broomsticks, exiting out of the pub slash inn.

“I'll show you another beauty of Hogwarts, then,” is all Baekhyun says, the only indication to what Kyungsoo is getting himself into.

⬖

They sit with their legs swinging to the tune of the winter breeze, gazing at the wide expanse of the almost grey sky. Baekhyun's arms hang carelessly over the railing, taking in deep breaths of the storm in the air. Kyungsoo's knuckles are turned white from gripping the railing tightly.

Baekhyun had his fingers wrapped around the circle of Kyungsoo's wrist, tugging every few minutes to ensure himself that Kyungsoo was still there, still following the back of his figure. He had his grip on Kyungsoo's wrist firmly, as they trudged up the spiral stairway to the Astronomy Tower. There were no complaints spilling out of Kyungsoo's lips when Baekhyun continued, taking steps up the stairway. There were no words, no sounds, coming out of Kyungsoo's lips when they stood shoulder to shoulder, Baekhyun's fingers still tracing the skin of his wrist, watching the clouds move from a greater height.

There is still silence between them, shoulders brushing when Baekhyun keeps rocking back and forth, finding it difficult to keep still like Kyungsoo. Baekhyun sneaks a glance at the doe-eyed boy to see his eyes glazed over in wonder, the stormy sky reflected in his pupils. It looks like his fourteen year old when he discovered the solitary and serenity of this place, spending almost every waking moment here when he needs to take a step back, to take a deep breath of the fresh air, to clear the mounting thoughts in his mind. This place holds the roots of his sanity, and he has never brought anyone here, keeping it a secret to himself.

Until Kyungsoo came, knocking things over in his life, that is.

Not that he should be aware of that fact.

"I always come here to think," Baekhyun speaks up, cutting through the silence with his heavy words. "and sometimes, to not think at all."

There is a few moments of silence before Kyungsoo answers, a little lilt to his voice, "I didn't know Byun Baekhyun had the competence to think."

Baekhyun slaps his arm, quick and playful, without any bite. His voice comes out as whiny as he tries to defend himself against Kyungsoo's harmless words, “I think more than you think I do.”

A chuckle falls out Kyungsoo's plump lips, echoing in the stormy air, ringing in Baekhyun's ears. Another veil of silence drops on them, enveloping them like a familiar friend. Kyungsoo continues to gaze at the view of the rest of Hogwarts and beyond from their position at a greater height whilst Baekhyun continues to map out the milky expanse of Kyungsoo's skin and commits every single freckle to his memory.

“I didn't know I had earned the privilege of witnessing this beauty,” Kyungsoo says, amazement laced with his low-toned voice.

That's because, with me, you don't have to work so hard, Baekhyun bites his lip, refraining himself from saying. Instead, he replies, averting his eyes from the swellness of Kyungsoo's upper lip to the snow storm brewing in the sky, “You paid for my butterbeer, this is my payment to you.”

His grin is impish, luring Baekhyun in, with the spark of something in his eyes which Baekhyun can never get tired of. He continuously drinks in the gaze that Kyungsoo is giving him, consequently drowning himself in the process.

“Is that butterbeer that special to you?” Kyungsoo counters, the curl of his lips is distracting Baekhyun from thinking of a response, from thinking in general. There is only one thought and it isn't really pleasant, it needs a whole jar of courage to carry it out but Baekhyun is out of strength. He is a puddle of mess at the toes of Kyungsoo's feet.

“You shouldn't be questioning me such a thing,” Baekhyun answers, digging his nails into the palm of his hand. He keeps trying to stop himself, and settle for teetering on the edge whilst praying that he would not fall in the midst of balancing himself. “You had a butterbeer yourself, you know how brilliant it is.”

“Nah,” Kyungsoo says, eyelids dropping, eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones. “I've had better.”

His eyes stare right into Baekhyun's, without any curiousity wielded in his gaze, without any question asking in his pupils. Baekhyun's pulse is racing against the veins in his skin. It's cold but he feels his abdomen burning inside of him, the lurching in the pit of his stomach never ends. Baekhyun is falling and falling, he has failed to keep balance on the edge.

Baekhyun can only hope, as he stares right back into Kyungsoo's eyes daringly, that someone at the pit bottom is waiting to catch him.

And he can't help but to hope deep within that it's the doe-eyed boy sporting a small smille with his eyes exploring the insides of Baekhyun in front of him.

⬖

Kyungsoo is standing outside of the Gryffindor common room.

The last time Baekhyun saw him in the Gryffindor Tower was after the Potions incident. Baekhyun shakes his head, almost laughing to himself at the memory. It had been so long ago and Baekhyun was so confused back then. Baekhyun looks down at himself and realises he's quite the same really, he's still confused, still trying to figure it out, still slightly afraid.

But his feet are contradicting his thoughts, taking steps on their own towards Kyungsoo's figure leaning against a wall. The boy looks up from his own pair of feet, eyes widening at the sight of Baekhyun approaching him but they subdue a little. It isn't really uncommon, Baekhyun has always been seeking Kyungsoo out.

Even when Baekhyun has a little fear living in him, his eyes still look for Kyungsoo despite himself.

Jongdae, who has been walking beside Baekhyun, calls out to Kyungsoo, eyes suggestive (Baekhyun wants to kill him, really), “Hey Soo! What brings you here?”

“I...” Kyungsoo trails off, eyes glancing at Baekhyun's figure next to Jongdae. His lips are hesitant, moving as he continues whilst facing Baekhyun instead, “Will you go stand over there for one moment?”

A furrow of his eyebrows, Baekhyun stares back at Kyungsoo, perplexed. “What? Why?”

Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip but his eyes are determined, “I want to talk about you and I don't want you to hear.”

Baekhyun can feel Jongdae's shoulders shaking beside him in silent laughter and he sends a punch to Jongdae's ribs instinctively. Baekhyun can also feel Chanyeol's curious glance wandering between him and Kyungsoo, questioning the relationship between the two. His throat is dry, his feet is walking backwards at Kyungsoo's command. “Alright,” he mutters softly but he's sure it goes unheard by Kyungsoo.

“See you later, Baek!” Jongdae chokes in the midst of his laughter and Baekhyun really does hope he gets eaten by mermen or dies at the expense of the Dark Lord. Baekhyun turns around, leaving his best friends, his ears going deaf as his eyes focus on the ground. He keeps preventing himself from turning back around and tries to build a stronger wall against following his gut. He doesn't really want to know about what Kyungsoo is going to say, he doesn't... really want to know at all.

But as usual, his thoughts betray him, keeping him accompanied all the way down to the Great Hall.

What do you want, Do Kyungsoo?

⬖

Christmas is fast approaching and Baekhyun...

Baekhyun isn't alone as he thought he would be.

The Great Hall is extravagantly decorated with its twelve towering Christmas trees all decked in ornaments. The stars, sitting ontop of the trees, shine brightly as the light catches off their reflective tips. No matter the years Baekhyun has spent staying at Hogwarts for Christmas, he is still in awe of the effort put into the decorations during the festive period. It is comfortably warm, the warmth seeping into the fabric of his white sweater. There are only a few wizards held back for Christmas this year, a little company to fill up this empty castle.

“Are you sure you don't want to join me?” Chanyeol had asked, a hand gripping onto the handle of his luggage tightly. “You know you're always welcome at my house, right?”

Baekhyun nodded, but he stayed where he was; on the mattress of his bed with the sheets strewn all over him in a mess. Jongdae had left, saying his goodbyes quickly. Chanyeol was the hesitant one, lingering in the foot of the doorway, still questioning Baekhyun.

“I'm fine, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun had said, assuring his too tall best friend. “It's not my first time spending Christmas in Hogwarts.”

“Yes, it's not but...” Chanyeol's eyes narrowed at him, and then a look of understanding fell upon his features, nodding to himself. “Alright, take care. See you after the holidays.”

He lugged his bag behind his shoulder, pulling on the handle of his luggage. Baekhyun called out, waving as Chanyeol left, “Happy holidays, Chanyeolie! Say hi to your family for me!

Now, Baekhyun is lingering in the entrance of the Great Hall, eyes fixated on a certain boy sitting at the Slytherin table alone with only a book accompanying him. His feet are moving, meandering through the other students, the other professors, the tables. His feet seem to have a mind of their own, leading his body to the one person he wants to meet, wants to talk to, wants to spend his holidays with. Baekhyun's toes are edging the foot of the Slytherin table and he hasn't looked up yet, still too immersed in the words on the story book he's reading in front of him. It gives Baekhyun a few seconds of contemplating his own set of words, a few seconds of taking deep breaths, a few seconds to admire the stretch of the black sweater against Kyungsoo's chest.

“If you're planning to talk to me,” Kyungsoo says suddenly, startling Baekhyun out of his gaze at the latter. His cheeks flush a deep crimson colour of guilt and fluster. Kyungsoo is oblivious, continuing his sentence, eyes still reading the words on the page in front of him, but Baekhyun isn't sure anymore as his eyes are not moving at all. “At least sit down. Don't stand there like the fool you actually are.”

Baekhyun tentatively sits down across Kyungsoo, hands clasped in front of him. His throat is shrivelling up again, words lodged in the column of his throat. The enthusiastic cries of the other students drown their silence, loud chatter about Christmas and the holidays fill the entire Great Hall, drowning out the absence of the rest of the students. Kyungsoo's finger, which has been holding the page down, is tense, pressing down on the paper. His eyes haven't move from the position in the story book he has been reading. Baekhyun notices the gulp of Kyungsoo's throat, what are you fretting about, Kyungsoo? I'm the nervewreck between you and I.

“Not going home for the holidays?” Baekhyun asks, in attempt to break the thick veil of silence between them. He's playing with his nails now, trying as hard as he could to not bite the tips of his nails off in apprehension. It has always been a bad habit since young. His mother had reprimanded him for it; taking his hands in hers, slapping lightly on the skin of his palms, a scolded tone when she reminded him over and over again of how unhygienic it is. But Baekhyun has always been a stubborn soul, following the feeling of his gut, going with the desires of his heart, instead of listening to the warning tone of the voice in his head.

There is a few beats of silence and Baekhyun counts them off in his head. One, two, three, Kyungsoo it is a simple question, just answer me, four, five, six... “No, my family's in Thailand for a holiday, how about you?”

“Nah,” Baekhyun answers him, his thumb tracing the rough, ridged edges of the table. “I haven't been home for Christmas for a while now.” His thumbnail catches on a splint, poking into the inner skin of his nail, poking into his heart with the sudden gaze of Kyungsoo's eyes at him. Is that concern, he sees? Or is it empathy? “I like Christmas at Hogwarts, anyway.”

“I have to admit,” Kyungsoo averts his gaze to the surroundings, taking in the decorations held up for Christmas, eyes beginning to spark in wonderment at the glint of the ornaments and the stars. “Christmas in Hogwarts beats Durmstrang's any day.”

“How is Christmas in Durmstrang like?” Baekhyun inquires, curiously. He is breaching on the edges of Kyungsoo's walls now, looking for a way in, seeking permission to be granted in.

And Kyungsoo lets down a wall, slowly, measuredly. “It's... not as festive as Hogwarts, that is for sure. It is a little lonelier, there isn't this much interior for us to goggle our eyes at. It's actually the same as any other day.”

“That sounds...” Baekhyun trails off, catching on the glint of nostalgia in the corner of Kyungsoo's eye. “Sad.”

Baekhyun observes as Kyungsoo forces out a little laugh at Baekhyun's comment, “It is not really that bad, honestly. We have a feast as well.”

Baekhyun throws his head back, glancing at the ceiling, watching as some of the ghosts come out to play, fly around the Great Hall for their own kind of fun. “Sometimes I'd like to believe that Hogwarts goes all out for these holidays not only for us but the ghosts in the castle too.”

He hears the sharp intake of breath and his eyes are back to gazing into Kyungsoo's. Kyungsoo's lips are parted slightly, his chest is heaving, taking in breaths. He exhales slowly, “That's pretty wise of you, Byun.”

“Don't fall in love with me now,” Baekhyun jokes, but his heart is beating too fast, pounding in the pulse inside of his wrist. He refuses to look up, refuses to witness the reaction to his words laced with a little truth.

Yet, his eyes betray him, flitting upwards to meet the pupils of Kyungsoo's eyes, again with that spark of something which Baekhyun keeps trying to figure out but keeps falling short.

A small chuckle, Kyungsoo's facing his open book now, his eyes no longer poring into the insides of Baekhyun. Baekhyun lets out his breath, his breathing is easing better now. There is always something in Kyungsoo stealing Baekhyun's breath away, be it the strong gaze directed at Baekhyun, the sudden upturn of his lips at a comment muttered by Baekhyun, the little brushes of his fingers against Baekhyun's forearm like he wants to reassure himself that Baekhyun is there, Baekhyun exists next to him, Baekhyun is staying there next to him, for him. It boggles Baekhyun's mind sometimes, how unwavering Kyungsoo's stare is, how the strength is unwaned in those irises. It boggles Baekhyun's mind sometimes, how weakening his heart is at the expense of Kyungsoo's grasp, how truly willing he is to relent to this doe-eyed boy who runs within unbreakable, strong walls built around him.

And when Kyungoo adds on, voice barely above the overwhelming hubbub of the Christmas jitters, “Let's see”, Baekhyun wonders how long is he going to last, after multiple attempts of breaking into the walls surrounding Kyungsoo, and how long is he going to last before he submits to the doe-eyed boy, falling to the pads of his knees at the mercy of Kyungsoo's brick built walls.

Baekhyun realises, at the sight of the half upward tug of Kyungsoo's lips, that he doesn't last very long. His knees are already bruised, scraped to the point of redness. The pain doesn't seep in until the brightness of Kyungsoo's smile has subdued a little in the sight of Baekhyun's mind.

⬖

The first ray of light penetrates through the windows, casting a light glow on the sheets. The dormitory is quiet, winter is soaking through the blankets Baekhyun has piled on top of his sleeping figure. The cold, frigid air leaves goosebumps on Baekhyun's bare skin, raising tiny hairs and making him itch for a body of warmth. He settles on wrapping a blanket around himself, immersing himself in what little warmth he has under the covers. He climbs out of his bed as willingly as he wills himself to, feet snugged in a pair of soft, comfy slippers. Baekhyun crouches to his knees, he pushes the top of his bunk against his bed, revealing the insides.

His hand reaches out for the familiar feel of the photo frame lying on top of his other belongings, face down. He turns it over, eyes growing a little misty at the sight of the photograph accompanying the rusty, once golden frame.

Baekhyun ignores the gifts scattered at the foot of his bed, next to his bunk. His eyes are focused on the movement of his family in the photograph, the slow growing smile of his mother's lips and the familiar, bright glint of her eyes which people often say he has inherited, and the proud, steady grin of his father's lips with his eyes glancing ever so often at his wife and his son.

Baekhyun... is smiling, with all of his teeth and canines on show. His eyes are reduced to crinkles, his cheeks are pulled upwards to showcase a huge grin of his elation at the moment. It was his first Christmas as a first year in Hogwarts, going back home for the holidays and hearing the praises of his parents envelope him warmer than the heat brewing in the fireplace.

His thumb grazes the photograph, following the movement of his mother's signature smile. Baekhyun whispers, softly, to the mother he had lost a few years ago, “Merry Christmas, I miss you everyday.”

⬖

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun is struck with the familiar imagery of Kyungsoo leaning against a wall, waiting, facing the Fat Lady portrait. It feels like deja vu all over again, treading towards Kyungsoo's lean figure against the stoned wall. He tastes the ham from the feast a few minutes ago, stuck in between his teeth, he swallows his saliva, hoping to have his words flow out as easily as he intend them to.

Kyungsoo's fingers are tangled together. Baekhyun resists the urge to rest his hand ontop of Kyungsoo's pair of hands, untangling them himself, but he is afraid that once he has untangled the mess of Kyungsoo's fingers, he'll find his own hand intertwined with Kyungsoo's, creating their own kind of mess instead. He settles for standing at the foot of the entrance, waiting to be granted permission to breach into Kyungsoo's walls.

“I...” Kyungsoo's voice trails off, unsure, uncertain. His voice is a little strained, a clear indication of it being unused. The low tone sends a tingle down Baekhyun's spine, begins the lurching of his abdomen. His eyes are perusing everywhere else but not Baekhyun's very own set of eyes. Kyungsoo breathes out, in a rushed manner, “Can I stay with you for tonight?”

“Um...” Baekhyun blinks. The question that leaves Kyungsoo's lips is ringing in Baekhyun's eardrums, sending shivers down his arms, quickening the pace of his heart. There is vulnerability detected in the tenderness of Kyungsoo's voice, so soft it could have been drowned in the winter wind of the night. Winter, this time round, is unyielding, breaking the branches of the trees, raising goosebumps on Baekhyun's skin, exposing the vulnerability of Kyungsoo's eyes, opening the entrance of Kyungsoo's walls a little to let Baekhyun in, to let the warmth wrap him up in company.

There are so many ways to answer Kyungsoo's question, so many things Baekhyun wants to do for the shivering, doe-eyed boy standing outside of the entrance of his heart. You never have to ask to stay, Baekhyun swallows his words down. He merely breathes out an “okay” before he's touching Kyungsoo's forearm gingerly, grazing the hairs there with his nails. His eyes are flicking upwards to meet Kyungsoo's in a question, and the only answer he gets is yes, yes, please.

Baekhyun mutters the password under his breath, “Fairy lights.” The Fat Lady eyes Kyungsoo suspiciously before swinging inwards to grant them access into the Gryffindor common room. Baekhyun takes a step into the common room, with Kyungsoo following behind. The common room is frankly empty, rid of the students as they are all feasting upon the food in the Great Hall in celebration of Christmas Day.

“In exception of Sehun and Taemin,” Baekhyun says, watching Kyungsoo gawk at the simplicity and comfort of the Gryffindor common room. “You are the first Slytherin to ever step in here and stay.”

Kyungsoo takes a spin around the room, eyes narrowing at the littlest things placed around the common room, remains of the students' belongings. “The atmosphere here is really... different from Slytherin's,” Kyungsoo finally comments, his body stopping to face the fireplace. “It's cosy.”

“Now, now, don't get too comfortable here,” Baekhyun jokes, erasing the ache from the vulnerability in Kyungsoo's irises. “It's too late to join Gryffindor.”

Kyungsoo has taken a place in front of the fireplace, arms hugging his knees close to his chest. He looks smaller, unguarded like the festive day has taken the toll on his walls, taken a toll on his strength, broken through his used-to-be unwavering mask and unleashed the affliction within. Baekhyun sits down next to him, a few inches away for a safe distance between them. He feels the immense heat exuding off the fire, seeping into the thick fabric of his jumper, a signature gift from Jongdae's mother.

Kyungsoo is still staring into the expanse of the orange-hued flames, the fire reflected in the blankness of his pupils. His lips part a little, letting out a white puff of air, “I could never be a Gryffindor. I'm too cowardly.”

Baekhyun whirls his head around, sees the quiver of Kyungsoo's bottom lip despite the warmth directly in front of him. His fingers lightly touch Kyungsoo's hand, a deep breath, and he rubs some comfort through the pad of his thumb on Kyungsoo's skin. A deep breath out, “I am not that brave either.”

Kyungsoo's eyes drop to the pattern of circles created by the rubbing of Baekhyun's thumb against his soft, milky skin. The ends of his lips slowly, surely pull upwards in a small smile, eyes filled with fondness. It fastens the pounding of Baekhyun's pulse in his wrist and he can only hope that Kyungsoo can't feel it thumping against his own skin.

The fire crackles, a pop and “You are a Gryffindor, nonetheless,” Kyungsoo says, reassuring Baekhyun's little fist-sized weakened heart.

It's Baekhyun's to speak, and usually he'll retort with something or joke about how Kyungsoo's nose is as red as the reindeer or perhaps pick up a topic about their favourite muggle tunes in Christmas. But he fails to build up the strength to speak, fails to conjure words in his mind, fails to find the voice within him to even say anything at all. He lets himself slump forward, allowing exhaustion to drain him, allowing the fire to breathe warmth into him at least. His fingers are still on top of Kyungsoo's hand, but he is no longer rubbing circles, he is merely stroking Kyungsoo's skin back and forth. Kyungsoo probably doesn't need the comfort right now and at this moment, Baekhyun isn't sure if this motion is for him or Kyungsoo anymore. Either way, he indulges in the lull it brings to his mind.

Baekhyun's eyes are about to close, submitting to the exhaustion when Kyungsoo's raspy voice wakes him up, makes his toes curl in a bit at the tone of the voice. “Are you still up?”

Baekhyun nods, a little sleepily as he stretches his other arm and keeps his other hand on Kyungsoo's, unflinching. “Mhhm, why?” he hums against the sound of the fire crackling in the background.

“Let's go to the Astronomy Tower,” Kyungsoo pipes up, already scrambling up to his feet. It takes a second, two seconds, three seconds for Baekhyun to dwell on the realisation of another one of Kyungsoo's unpredictable questions. Baekhyun's hand falls from Kyungsoo's as the latter is already up on his feet, bouncing a little on his heels.

“What for?” Baekhyun yawns, pushing himself by his hands on the scruffness of the carpet to his feet. He wobbles slightly at the head rush, but he balances himself against the shelf. His eyes are squinting, but he can make out the elation in the curl of Kyungsoo's lips as he whispers out against another snow storm growing outside, “To think.”

Baekhyun lets himself, this time, to be pulled by Kyungsoo's grip, into the depth of Hogwarts and upwards to a greater height where Baekhyun calls his safe haven. Baekhyun almost trips on his two feet, following the shadow of Kyungsoo's figure as it disappears behind walls, reappearing in the torch of light. There's the fear of getting caught by any of the professors but there's a fear deep within Baekhyun that is greater and it is of the light in Kyungsoo's grin directed at Baekhyun, solely for him, because of him.

Baekhyun huffs out his last puff of air, as he exaggeratedly steps on the platform, finishing his physical exercise of climbing the spiral stairway up. His stomach is still a little bloated from the feast and to have started on a physical exercise this late in the night isn't really good for his health. He leans over the railing, falling to his knees. His hands are gripping the railway loosely, as Baekhyun keeps inhaling the chilly air and exhaling to get his heart into a normal pace.

But it's a wasted effort, after all.

Baekhyun settles into a proper sitting position, forehead leaning against the cool surface of the pole of the railing. He is automatically facing Kyungsoo's side profile, the light is reflecting off his stark jawline, the soft flutter of his eyelashes, the stray strands of hair against his forehead. The cold relieves both of them of the beads of perspiration flowing down their temples, already soaking into their jumpers.

It is a crescent night, the half moon hanging in the dark blue sky, surrounded by blinding stars. Baekhyun peruses silently as Kyungsoo stares into open expanse of the night sky. Both of them watch the snow fall onto pavements, fields, covering every once exposed area. The wind is swaying them tonight, brushing the bangs of Baekhyun's hair and the messy strands of Kyungsoo's hair. Their hands aren't gripping the railing tightly this time as Baekhyun is used to the feeling of falling whilst Kyungsoo is growing the courage to stay on.

“Aren't you curious?” Kyungsoo ponders, his gaze elsewhere for once. The shadow of Kyungsoo's side profile is already stripping Baekhyun of his air, and now his sudden question is making his heart race, taking every breath Baekhyun tries to inhale for sanity.

“Curious? About?” Baekhyun is curious, he is curious of the thoughts that go through Kyungsoo's mind everyday. He is curious if he's ever passed by Kyungsoo's mind before, and if he has, why does it still seem so unfamiliar to him? Or is he just that difficult to adapt? He is curious about the sparks flashing in Kyungsoo's irises whenever he has one of those gazes at Baekhyun. He is curious about the quirks of Kyungsoo's lip, he is curious about how they'll taste against his very own, unique set of quirks.

“How I got into Hogwarts,” Kyungsoo answers, finally turning to face Baekhyun with resolute in his eyes. “Chanyeol told me, y'know. You could have just asked, yourself.”

Baekhyun feels bare, his face stripped of the mask he has learnt all through the years to wear. But Kyungsoo has that effect on him since the start, scrutinising through his eyes, assessing the insides of Baekhyun, questioning him with his multiple gazes. His voice comes off hoarse, a result of his dry throat, “I didn't think you would tell me anything.”

Something flashes in Kyungsoo's eyes, his hand trails Baekhyun's hand, leaving traces on the cold bones in the form of his touch. His fingers fit in the gaps, but he doesn't quite close them yet; he merely lets them be, basking in the warmth of each other's hands. Baekhyun can feel his pulse thumping through the fabric of his jeans, feels his heartbeat quickening and quickening at the contact of their skin together.

“I would tell you anything,” Kyungsoo says, a simple reply of a few words to Baekhyun's thoughts. His heartbeat is going out of control. He breathes in sharply, the ice in the air freezing the column of his throat, freezing his words, but his heart remains warm against the cold.

It's the warmth in Kyungsoo's words that Baekhyun breathes in, spreading the heat throughout his body, his insides.

⬖

“I never felt like I belonged at Durmstrang,” Kyungsoo lets out, the walls surrounding him tumble down to the ground, the bricks crushed at the toes of Baekhyun's feet. “I was always either too nice or too quiet, so when I tried to act like the other Durmstrang boys, I kind of lost myself in the way.”

Baekhyun could see the beginnings of mist in Kyungsoo's eyes as he continues, “Chanyeol always tells me how welcoming Hogwarts is and I... I decided to enroll here instead.” Baekhyun turns their hands over so that it's him fitting comfort into the gaps of Kyungsoo's fingers, instead. “I thought I'd be okay and I was... until my inferiority complex started acting up, my anxiety started overwhelming me and I beaome a little too afraid of stepping out to mingle with anyone.”

Kyungsoo chuckles dryly, with no humour wielded in his voice. “That is why I stick to the library during breaks. I didn't know how to fit into Slytherin. I wasn't getting any better, I was just a fucking coward, acting on my fears.”

His eyelashes flutter against his cheekbones, tears sticking to them. His eyes flick to Baekhyun's direction, sincerity lingering in his watery eyes. Baekhyun watches as the mask melts off Kyungsoo's face, revealing the real Do Kyungsoo within.“Then, you came around like a leech. You were so annoying at first,” Kyungsoo laughs out loud, clear and echoed in the late, snowy sky.

Kyungsoo's gaze falls to the link of their fingers, his smile is softer at the edges with a lingering trace of fondness. “You helped me a little to conquer my fears, I began to ... find myself again.”

And Kyungsoo looks up again, staring into Baekhyun's eyes steadily, unflinching. This time, his gaze isn't questioning, isn't holding a spark, isn't pulling Baekhyun in, isn't reeling him in as its intention. Yet, Baekhyun finds himself falling at the whisper of two words leaving Kyungsoo's plump lips.

“Thank you.”

Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun... like he has found the answer to his questions.

⬖

The night isn't getting any younger, but Baekhyun is plunged into the memories of his eleven year old self. Baekhyun has his ankle hooked around the circle of Kyungsoo's ankle, they swing back and forth in sync with the relentless breeze of the wintry night.

Kyungsoo is exploring the slenderness of Baekhyun's fingers when Baekhyun recollects his breaths and lets his own weight that has been sitting in the bottom of his heart out, “I was not always this annoying, bubbly person you see before you now. I was a timid, quiet person back when I was eleven.”

His words made Kyungsoo's eyebrows raise in surprise but he stays silent as Baekhyun continues, “I was eleven, stepping into Hogwarts for the first time and my mother used to comfort me every night assuring me how great I would be at making friends.” He chokes on the heaviness of his words, chokes on that breath he tries to inhale. “I was so afraid, despite being a Gryff, I was so afraid to even talk to anyone. I was in fear that I wouldn't please anyone, that I would be casted out, that I was not good enough.”

The pain from the tearful memories pricks at the corner of Baekhyun's eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks in form of tears. “Then, Chanyeol came in the second year, I met Jongdae too in Hogsmeade and we became pretty much inseparable. We became the Beagles, then.”

His tears are fogging up his vision, but when Baekhyun turns to meet Kyungsoo's eyes, he sees the clear reflection of his own mask melting off his face in Kyungsoo's irises. His next words come out in a whisper, “Then, I met you too. I saw myself in you.”

Baekhyun's words hang in the icy, cold air between them and Kyungsoo's lips move but Baekhyun can't see anything through his cloudy vision except the curl of his lips into a beautiful smile that threatens to steal every single breath again.

“I'm sorry,” Kyungsoo's whisper is barely heard but Baekhyun can hear it fine since he has been paying attention and he always does when it comes to the doe-eyed boy in front of him.

Though, he isn't intending to do so but the crookedness of Kyungsoo's reassuring grin is pulling Baekhyun in again, making him lean closer than he intends to, just to get closer to catch a glint of something unsaid in between Kyungsoo's parted lips.

Baekhyun manoeuvers through the fallen stone, taking his first step into Kyungsoo's mind once the walls have tumbled down to the ground. Baekhyun manoeuvers his way to meet the upward grin of Kyungsoo's lips.

⬖

Baekhyun spends every waking moment with Kyungsoo.

As days of the holidays pass them by, they stay within each other's distance. Kyungsoo is sleeping on Chanyeol's bed, next to Baekhyun's, having resided there ever since Christmas Day. Baekhyun, on the other hand, has lost control of his beating heart.

When night falls, sometimes, Kyungsoo drags Baekhyun up to his feet to escape to the Astronomy Tower. Sometimes they sit there with ankles hooked, Baekhyun's chin fitting into the gaps of the railing, Kyungsoo's arms hanging loosely on the metal railing. They talk sometimes, about everything and nothing at once, about the snow (“I hate snow.” “You just hate everything fun,” Baekhyun replied to him, as his hand curled into a fist, muttering a spell softly under his breath. Immediately, he feels the cold of the snow in the palm of his hand, throwing the snowball at Kyungsoo's head, earning a punch to his ribs right after. But the risk was worth the grin blossoming on Kyungsoo's lips.), about the ghosts in their past and how afraid they both are to greet them. Sometimes, it's the silence who is doing the talking for them, in the form of Baekhyun's body leaning against Kyungsoo's own. If it's an excuse, Baekhyun would say it is for the warmth. If it's the truth, Baekhyun would say it's because he wants to see whatever Kyungsoo is seeing through his eyes.

Now, in particular, they are biding their time by the warmth radiating off the fireplace. Days ago, Baekhyun was sitting on his hands, a few inches away from Kyungsoo's curled up position, with his chin on the gap of his knees. Right now, they are sitting, shoulders brushing, knees brushing each other's, Baekhyun's head is leaning against Kyungsoo's left shoulder blade, Kyungsoo's body is crouched, trying to get closer to the heat of the fire.

“I should have known playing snow with you would leave me sick and cold,” Kyungsoo chides, his head shaking. Baekhyun feels the tickle of Kyungsoo's chin against his own mop of hair.

He laughs, breaths coming out in white puffs of air. “What would you do without me around, Soo?” The term of endearment flows out of his lips easily, Baekhyun feels Kyungsoo shivers under him.

“I would do just fine, I wouldn't be sick nor cold,” Kyungsoo affirms, with his gritted teeth. His hands are splayed in front of the fire, his pupils reflecting the pop and crackling of the fire.

Baekhyun's small laugh develops into a peal of laughter, he pokes at Kyungsoo's cheek, “You are not sick. Cold, maybe but not sick. Stop being melodramatic.”

Kyungsoo glowers at him from the corner of his eye, “But I feel sick all over!”

Baekhyun's face leans closer to Kyungsoo's, eyes catching the gulp of Kyungsoo's throat, the tense in Kyungsoo's features. He stops a breath away, his words come out in soft puffs of air, hitting Kyungsoo's lips directly. “That is my charm's work on you.”

He leans back, eyes crinkling into laughter again at the rigidness of Kyungsoo's face and its transformation into mock anger. He waits for the slap on his arm, and. . .there it is, Kyungsoo's hand lands on Baekhyun's arm, the thud of his slap resonating in the silence of the two. Baekhyun's laughter grows louder, fighting against the howling of the unyielding winds outside.

“You are insufferable,” Kyungsoo growls. Baekhyun ignores the repetitive lurching at the pit of his stomach as he gives in to the joy of his laughter and the expression on Kyungsoo's features.

Jongdae's words return to his mind, the works of his plan reminiscing in Baekhyun's mind. His head leaves the warmth and steadiness of Kyungsoo's shoulder, the thoughts dawning on him. Baekhyun feels the shivers of his fear and uncertainty as his hand curls around his wand in his pocket. Kyungsoo isn't watching like before, his eyes are fixated on the movement of the orange and red hues of the flames. Baekhyun mutters the spell under his breath, enunciating every syllable as clearly and softly as he could. There is a light at the tip of his wand, dimming every second as the spell is taken into action.

“Well what do you know?” Baekhyun pipes up, eyes flicking to the ceiling at the formation of the mistletoe directly above them. Kyungsoo swivels his head around, in curiousity. Baekhyun swallows down the fear and tries to bubble his courage up. “Mistletoe,” he mouths with a jerk of his chin upwards.

He watches as Kyungsoo's eyes slowly move upwards to notice the mistletoe hanging above them, like a blessing or a curse, Baekhyun cannot decide yet. He watches as Kyungsoo's eyes flit back to Baekhyun's, meeting the mischief in Baekhyun's lips and imitating it in his own curl of lips. His eyes are glinting, impishly and Baekhyun swallows as Kyungsoo moves towards him like a predator catching on the scent of fear from its prey.

His hits come first, landing slaps on Baekhyun's chest, arms, shoulders. Baekhyun is struck by perplexity and shock as Kyungsoo erupts into a lovely peal of his laughter, resonating in the empty common room. Kyungsoo's hands fall on the junctures of Baekhyun's shoulders, his face is scrunched up in elation, eyes crinkled as he stares into the confusion written on Baekhyun's features.

“Are you really suggesting that we kiss under a mistletoe?” Kyungsoo exlaims out of his laughter.

Baekhyun cocks his head, “That's what you are supposed to do under a mistletoe, yes.”

Kyungsoo's eyes are sparkling, lighting off the orange flames of the fire. He jests, his turn to poke Baekhyun's cheek with his index finger, “Since when do you abide by the rules, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun's mind goes dizzy for a second at the syllables of his name spilling out of Kyungsoo's lips, his eyes are trying so hard to find a distraction other than the swellness of Kyungsoo's upper lip. “Since when do you not, Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun is crossing his fingers behind his back. Kyungsoo's face is just an inch away, just a breath away, just a capture of their lips away. Kyungsoo's stare is assessing him again, no longer glinting out of mischief but of something else. Baekhyun slumps forward a little, his nose knocking against Kyungsoo's. They are breathing in each other's air, stealing little puffs of air from each other's lips. Baekhyun's eyes are closed, his head tilting to capture Kyungsoo's bottom lip between his when Kyungsoo breathes out against the pout of Baekhyun's lips, “You really are insufferable.”

Baekhyun swallows the syllables of Kyungsoo's words as he crushes his lips onto Kyungsoo's, hearing the voice in his head sighing a “finally” into the mess of thoughts of his mind. Kyungsoo tenses at first at the slide of their lips but he eases into it, enunciating a moan as Baekhyun nibbles on his upper lip. When Kyungsoo runs his tongue on Baekhyun's bottom lip, he hisses at the pain of his dry, chapped lips. Their lips move together, sneaking little bites there and there, to enunciate moans out of Kyungsoo's throat continuously. Kyungsoo grips on the strands of Baekhyun's hair, his lips moving to swallow the groan Baekhyun lets out at the tug of Kyungsoo's hand on his hair. His heart is bursting, Baekhyun no longer feels the heat of the fire on his skin, but in his abdomen, filling him up with more, more and more.

Baekhyun pulls Kyungsoo onto his lap, feeling his ass settle on his growing groin. His hands are inching upwards from Kyungsoo's waist, exploring the expanse of his soft skin against the callouses of his fingers. His thumbs are rubbing soothing circles on Kyungsoo's spine, kissing into Kyungsoo's open mouth, tongues dancing in sync to the crackling of the fire in the background. His desire in his heart is dripping with dark wants and he pulls Kyungsoo closer, tilts his head a little more, to suck on the plumpness of Kyungsoo's upper lip.

Kyungsoo pulls away first, his forehead hitting Baekhyun's softly. Their chests are heaving, desperate for a breath of air. But when Baekhyun flutters his eyes open, staring directly into Kyungsoo's very own irises, he finds the air he has been panting for.

“You persistent, delusional idiot!” Kyungsoo exhales, his hand hitting Baekhyun's collarbones in an attempt. A slow smile blossoms on Kyungsoo's lips as he closes his eyes briefly. He opens them to the confusion written on Baekhyun's features, laughs into the small distance between their lips. “Did you really think I wouldn't notice?”

Baekhyun's eyebrows shoot up, his lips are already moving to form an apology but Kyungsoo pecks on them quickly to shut him up. “You really are so oblivious and every synonym of stupid.”

“What.” Baekhyun says, eyes widening at Kyungsoo's insulting words. He doesn't catch the glint of amusement in Kyungsoo's eyes this time, continuing, “We just kissed and this is wh–”

Kyungsoo crashes his lips onto Baekhyun's in an attempt to shut him up. It works, as Baekhyun's mind goes fuzzy for a few seconds, relishing in the feel of Kyungsoo's swollen lips against his, indulging himself in the lick of Kyungsoo's tongue against his lips. Kyungsoo pulls back again, pulls out a whine out of Baekhyun's mouth.

Kyungsoo chuckles, “You are so stupid, why do I even like you?”

Baekhyun freezes at the confession hiding underneath Kyungsoo's words, freezes at the fondness in Kyungsoo's eyes when he realises, with a pang, that it is directed at him, freezes and yet his heart is beating so fast, pumping against the pulse of his wrist. The underlying meaning of Kyungsoo's words travels through his ears to the wires connecting to his brain, breaking down and whirling his mind a little. His lips move but he is unable to get any voice out, any of his words out.

He settles on hitting Kyungsoo back on his chest, repeatedly until Kyungsoo traps his hand on the pane of his chest. His shoulders slouch, taking in a deep breath. “You are so blind, why didn't you tell me?”

Kyungsoo moves backwards, eyebrows furrowing, “Blind? What do you mean? I was scared of course, you dimwitted creature.”

A chuckle spills out of Baekhyun's lips, developing into a full ripple of laughter. “I like you so much,” Baekhyun slaps at Kyungsoo's chest with his other hand which isn't in Kyungsoo's trap. There's a hitch in Kyungsoo's breath as Baekhyun continues to laugh, “It's so scary how much I like you, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo's hand intertwines in Baekhyun's, closing the gaps between their fingers, tangling together like a comfort fit. Baekhyun dares himself to gaze into Kyungsoo's eyes, the revelation of their confessions dwelling on him, spreading onto his lips in a bright smile. It is a mirror to Kyungsoo's very own smile on his lips, though not as beautifully, Baekhyun is sure. Kyungsoo leans in, nudges his nose against Baekhyun's and captures his lips softly, tenderly in a kiss.

“I like you so much, too,” Kyungsoo adds in between the nibbling of his teeth on Baekhyun's upper lip, in between their stolen kisses, in between the sweeping of Baekhyun's tongue on the roof of Kyungsoo's teeth, in between the moans pronounced by each other's mouths. Baekhyun tastes the sincerity of his words on Kyungsoo's tongue fighting against his, maps the quirks of Kyungsoo's lips in his mind, commits the feel of Kyungsoo's smile against his lips.

“So. So. Much,” Kyungsoo enunciates every word, every syllable into peppering kisses down Baekhyun's jawline, making Baekhyun giggle as Kyungsoo's lips tickle the sensitive skin of Baekhyun's jaw. Kyungsoo's teeth catches on the skin between Baekhyun's jaw and neck, sucking on the bite, marking a purple bruise on Baekhyun's fair, pale skin. A moan spills out of Baekhyun's mouth, directly into Kyungsoo's ear, causing his lips to tense, falter slightly in between his kisses.

Kyungsoo's eyes are bright, when he stares right back at Baekhyun. His lips are swollen, bruised bright red; the work of Baekhyun's lips. It hurts, tears Baekhyun's lips a bit when they are pulled upwards in a grin, copying Kyungsoo's own grin, but wider, more delirious, crazier.

The fear, that was residing in Baekhyun's chest, evaporates into a puddle of nothingness. The bird, struggling in a little cage in his fist-sized heart, breaks free, flying through the icy, starry night. Baekhyun hears the whisper of the voice in his head, hears the victory of him conquering his fears, hears the thumping beat of his heart loud in his ears.

They both sigh blissfully into each other's mouths, with the warmth of the fire enveloping their bodies, into the darkness and coldness of another winter night.

⬖

Winter disappears with the breeze, returning the students back to the castle of Hogwarts. The sun proudly hangs low in the sky, causing the snow to evaporate into melted ice puddles. Hogwarts also welcomes the surprise expressed on Baekhyun's best friends' faces when they witness the exchange of kisses between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo at the foot of the Great Hall.

“That's it?” Jongdae and Chanyeol exclaim in unison, their eyes fixated on Baekhyun and Kyungsoo's intertwined hands between their bodies.

Baekhyun notices the perplexity on Chanyeol's face but it gradually changes into a look of relief, a look of joy at the sight of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo together. Jongdae, on the other hand, is sporting a smug expression, his lips mouthing words along the line of “I told you so”. If Baekhyun isn't so infatuated with Kyungsoo's smile right now, he'd be punching a hole into Jongdae's face.

Baekhyun glances at the softness in the half upturn of Kyungsoo's lips, gloating in the swellness of his lips (at the courtesy of Baekhyun's own lips, thank you). He catches the glint of something in Kyungsoo's eyes, mirroring Baekhyun's. There is happiness written on the curl of Kyungsoo's mouth, in the corners of his eyes, in the contours of his face and Baekhyun doesn't have to look in the mirror to see the same expression on his face.

Baekhyun nods without even looking at his best friends, instead, he is staring into Kyungsoo's irises, falling into the deep brown colour of those eyes. He is tumbling, crashing, falling without a life support, but he is certain whilst gazing into Kyungsoo's face that a particular doe-eyed boy will be catching him at the pit bottom.

Baekhyun nods, voice relaying his emotions, without even looking at his best friends, only watching the corners of Kyungsoo's lips twitch in amusement. His heart drips with the urge to kiss Kyungsoo senseless, right there and then.

“Yeah, that's it.”

Comments

[sunnyjjang]

I am your prompter huhu. This fic just gave me all the feels. I like how it's somewhat baek-centric. Urgh. The take is amazing. Thank u!