#21: A Whole Lot of Almosts (Until We Finally Made It)

[exolliarmus]

►username: anonymous

►prompt #: 21
►title: A Whole Lot of Almosts (Until We Finally Made It)
►pairings: Junmyeon/Jongdae and side!baekhyun/kyungsoo
►rating: PG
►word count: 14.5k
►warnings: anxiety attacks, school-related stress, slow build, and shy, cute exo babies everywhere
►summary: Junmyeon heads into his final year at Hogwarts unsure of what he career he wants to pursue, and unsure of his standing with a certain cheery waiter down at the Three Broomsticks. The only thing he's really sure about is that he loves butterbeer.
►author's notes: This prompt was so much fun to work with! I went a little overboard ahaha, but what can I say? Junmyeon and Jongdae are very adorable, but kinda slow. I hope you enjoy the story!

A Whole lot of Almosts (Until We Finally Made It)


October

It all really began with Kim Junmyeon’s first trip to Hogsmeade in his third year of classes at Hogwarts.

Like most of the other third years, he was nervous and excited to be setting foot off of the grounds for the first time during a school term—in addition to seeing all of the exciting shops at Hogsmeade. He went with his two best friends, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, and they had a great time. None of them suspected that they would be setting Junmyeon on a path to addiction.

Well, maybe addiction was a little strong of a word for it.

“One butterbeer for you!” a sunny voice rang out, and Junmyeon flinched in his seat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Jongdae, a waiter at the Three Broomsticks, chuckled as he slid a foaming tankard to Junmyeon.

“You didn’t scare me,” Junmyeon muttered, instantly straightening up in his seat. A small blush worked its way up his cheeks, although it had little to with embarrassment. “I was just daydreaming.”

“Your homework isn’t enough to fill your thoughts?” Jongdae teased him, the corners of his mouth tilting up further.

Junmyeon blushed even harder as he picked up his quill from where he’d set it down again. “I guess not.”

“What subject are you working on? I’m surprised you still come down here, given that you’re a seventh year and all,” Jongdae said as he leaned his hip against the side of Junmyeon’s table.

“Well, it’s just the beginning of the year so I still have time to come down here. And besides, you know how I am about butterbeer.” Junmyeon smiled shyly up at Jongdae. He was honestly addicted to the stuff. He would die if he couldn’t come to Hogsmeade to get a sip of that mouthwatering, golden deliciousness…

Jongdae laughed softly to himself as he watched Junmyeon’s eyes glaze over at the mere thought of butterbeer. “Well, I get off my shift in about twenty minutes. I’ll come back and join you if you don’t mind.”

Junmyeon jolted out of his stupor. “Of course!” Junmyeon smiled at Jongdae. “See you in a bit.”

“Drink up.” Jongdae winked at him, and then turned around and left. Junmyeon saw him wince as he left the bubble of Junmyeon’s silencing charm. The Three Broomsticks was a noisy place, and Junmyeon had solved the issue of having to study and wanting butterbeer by always setting himself in a little corner with a silencing charm around him. Sometimes, Junmyeon suspected that Jongdae liked sitting with him when his shift was over just so that he could enjoy some peace and quiet.

Junmyeon sighed and reached out to lift the tankard of butterbeer to his mouth. His crush on Jongdae wasn’t something terribly recent—Junmyeon had been coming to the Three Broomsticks since third year, but Jongdae had started working there last fall. Junmyeon came to Hogsmeade every month during their school-ordained visits, and he and Jongdae had gotten to be really close friends over the encounters. They sent owls to each other quite frequently, and they had even made tentative plans to visit each other over the summer, which had unfortunately fallen through. Junmyeon really, really liked Jongdae—Jongdae was kind, thoughtful, and hard working. Jongdae was actually working at the Three Broomsticks to save up money until he could open his own wizarding pub in London. Jongdae was also two years older than him, and even though Junmyeon knew it wasn’t much time, it still made Junmyeon worried that Jongdae saw him like a little kid. And Junmyeon didn’t want that—even if he had no idea whether or not Jongdae liked him back, he wanted them to be on equal ground.

Junmyeon sighed in bliss as he took a sip of butterbeer. The stuff practically ran through his veins. He would have to remember to pick up a few bottles from the counter before he went back to school. He set down the tankard and picked up his quill again, ready to continue his charms homework. Honestly though, this essay from Professor Jung was just busywork, they had had the properties of levitation charms drilled into their skulls by her last year when they were preparing for OWLs.

Although, now that he thought about it, Junmyeon thought that Jongdae might have a valid reason for concern for him being here. He had NEWTs this year, and since he either wanted to go into wandlore or cursebreaking, he really needed top scores.

And yet, Junmyeon knew that he would be willing to miss a little studying time to get more butterbeer, as well as to go meet Jongdae.





Junmyeon felt slightly winded as he tumbled into the Ravenclaw common room, and he clutched at his side as he resisted the urge to just flop over on the floor.

“You took your time.” A voice sounded from an armchair by the fire, and a few moments later, Junmyeon saw Baekhyun’s head pop up over the top of an armchair. “It’s so late, how did you not get caught?”

“The Head Boy owes me for that one time I taught him how to charm the wrinkles out of his robes,” Junmyeon huffed out as he slowly walked over to collapse into the armchair.

“Nice,” Baekhyun murmured appreciatively. He shifted around in his armchair so that he was no facing Junmyeon. “So what were you doing that you stayed out so late?”

Junmyeon blushed slightly. “…Things.”

“What things?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow in surprise; normally, Junmyeon wasn’t this reticent with him.

“You know,” Junmyeon mumbled, his voice nearly getting lost beneath the crackling of the fire. “Stuff.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Alright then, don’t tell me,” he huffed. “Were you out late because it took too long to get butterbeer or something?”

“No!” Junmyeon snapped back, caught off-guard. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo never went with him to the Three Broomsticks anymore; they preferred going to Honeyduke’s after dropping him off at the pub.

Baekhyun smiled at him affectionately at reached out to kick gently at Junmyeon’s bag with his foot. “Did you pick up a few bottles for this month?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon softened up at the affectionate look on Baekhyun’s face. “It’s just…well…”

“What?” Baekhyun tucked his knees together and sat up in his armchair interestedly. He and Junmyeon had been friends ever since they were small children, and they had stuck together at Hogwarts. But during fifth year, Junmyeon had grown shyer and a little more distant as he struggled to study for his OWLs, and even though Junmyeon had loosened up quite a bit over the past year, things still weren’t back to normal between them. Like right now—in fourth year, Junmyeon wouldn’t even have hesitated to tell Baekhyun what was on his mind, or what mischief he’d been up to. But there he was, sitting silently in front of Baekhyun and chewing hesitantly on his lip.

“Well,” Junmyeon said slowly. “There’s…this guy.” He hesitantly looked up at Baekhyun. He wasn’t worried about Baekhyun being homophobic—after all, he, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo had come out to each other several years ago. What he was worried that Baekhyun wouldn’t approve of Jongdae when he found out just who he was.

“Oh?” Baekhyun leaned forward on his elbows and smiled warmly, trying to get Junmyeon to open up.

“Yeah.” Junmyeon fiddled nervously with his fingers. “He’s…he’s really nice. And funny. And…I think I really like him.”

“But?” Baekhyun coaxed.

Junmyeon flinched. “But what?”

“Well, you wouldn’t be so hesitant if the guy was just perfect.” Baekhyun chuckled dryly, and Junmyeon gave him a half-smile in response. “So what’s up?”

Junmyeon opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. He let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his chair, feeling small and defeated. “I just…we’re seventh years. We have to study for NEWTs, and I’m worried that I won’t have time to see him as much. I only get to see him once a month when we go out to Hogsmeade anyways.” Junmyeon wanted to punch himself in the face—that wasn’t the real worry he had. But at the same time, he was still afraid to bare everything to Baekhyun. There were insecurities that he hadn’t learned to face on his own, and until he was ready to deal with his own feelings, he didn’t want to burden Baekhyun with them.

Junmyeon squeaked when Baekhyun suddenly got up off of his armchair and sat down firmly in Junmyeon’s lap. He twisted so that he was lying sideways in Junmyeon’s arms and snuggled against Junmyeon’s shoulder as he let his legs dangle over the edge of the armchair. “Well, if that’s the case…I mean, you like this guy a lot, right?” Baekhyun affectionately nudged Junmyeon’s shoulder with his nose. “We’ll find a way for you to schedule your studying so that you can still go out on Hogsmeade trips.”

“We?” Junmyeon stared down at Baekhyun’s face in surprise.

“Of course. I’m standing with you on this, silly.” Baekhyun pushed his face into Junmyeon’s shoulder again and let out a low sigh. Junmyeon was one of his favorite people to snuggle with—he was soft, warm, and he always had time and space for Baekhyun to curl up in his arms.

Junmyeon blinked, touched by Baekhyun’s response. “Thanks.” He lifted a hand and absently picked up Baekhyun’s hand and began playing with his fingers.

Baekhyun tightened his fingers around Junmyeon’s in response and settled back down into Junmyeon’s lap with a small sigh. After a few minutes, he reluctantly sat up and rubbed blearily at his eyes. “It’s late, let’s go to bed Jun.”

“Ok.” Junmyeon sighed tiredly and got up from the armchair. He slowly picked his bag up and followed Baekhyun up the stairs. It had been a long day, and he’d spent hours with Jongdae at the Three Broomsticks. He was more than ready for a few hours of sleep.




November

Junmyeon stared at the books in front of him and bit down the sob that threatened to escape from his mouth. His vision blurred as tears swam in his eyes, and the fine print on the page in front of him turned into a blurry mess of black and white.

“Junmyeon?” A tentative hand landed on his shoulder. Junmyeon blinked away his tears to the best of his ability and looked up.

“Kyungsoo!” Junmyeon’s face lit up with genuine happiness as he began shifting books and papers out of the way so that he could make space at the library table for his friend. “Sorry, I didn’t even notice you for a few seconds.”

“No worries,” Kyungsoo chuckled as he slid into the seat besides Junmyeon. “But…Jun, are you alright? You’ve been so stressed out this week.”

Junmyeon let out a small sigh. It was November now, and his teachers had assigned him a steady stream of homework due over the course of the next week, and he had to finish it all if he wanted to keep his grades up.

The only problem was that the monthly Hogsmeade trip was tomorrow. And he was only about halfway through with his homework, and he didn’t think that he would be able to finish it all in time to meet Jongdae.

“I’m okay,” Junmyeon said slowly, even as tears threatened to fall from his eyes again. “Just…stressed.”

Kyungsoo sighed and began shifting through some of the papers that Junmyeon had lying around. “Jun, you know that these aren’t due until next Friday, right?”

“I know. But we have a midterm in Charms and a practical exam in Defense Against the Dark Arts next week that I need to focus on, so I figured that I should try and finish all of my essays this week,” Junmyeon mumbled. A lump tightened in his throat, choking off whatever he wanted to say next.

Kyungsoo sighed and straightened the sheaf of papers in his hand. He put a gentle hand on Junmyeon’s back and leaned over to give his friend a much-needed hug. “Junmyeon.”

“Yeah?” Junmyeon sniffled as tears finally spilled over his eyelids. He hastily wiped at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve.

“You need to calm down a little bit,” Kyungsoo said firmly. “You have plenty of time to finish these essays, and you’ve already mastered the use of the shield charm for Defense Against the Dark Arts. Knowing you, you’ve already mastered the materials for charms to boot. You need to pace yourself, Jun, or else you’re going to burn out!”

Junmyeon sighed and sniffled again. “Sorry,” he mumbled softly. “I just…”

“What’re you sorry for?” Kyungsoo snapped at him. “Just take care, Jun, that’s all. You know that Baekhyun and I are worried about you.”

“I know,” Junmyeon mumbled. He let out a slow sigh as he tried to pull himself back together. Kyungsoo was probably right—he actually had already mastered the shield charms, and all of the coursework for the midterm next week. But these papers wouldn’t finish themselves, and besides, was he believing Kyungsoo because Kyungsoo was right, or because he was desperate for a reason to go see Jongdae?

“Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo gave him a stern look.

Junmyeon flinched. “What?”

“Stop overthinking. Calm down,” Kyungsoo said firmly. “Maybe it’ll be worth making yourself a study schedule, or remaking it if you’ve already made one. You definitely have more time thank you think to finish those essays.”

Junmyeon blinked slowly. “I…I’ll remake my schedule.” Kyungsoo gave him a pointed look, and a small smile worked its way into the corner of Junmyeon’s mouth as he continued. “And I’ll show it to you and Baekhyun. Okay?”

“Good.” Kyungsoo gave a pleased little sniff and turned to the side to open his bookbag. Meanwhile, Junmyeon discreetly conjured up a handkerchief and hastily wiped at his eyes and nose while Kyungsoo’s back was turned. He pulled out a blank sheet of parchment and began to outline an agenda for the week. After a few moments of silence, with Junmyeon busily scratching away at his parchment and Kyungsoo perusing a textbook, Kyungsoo finally broke the silence.

“So,” Kyungsoo said conversationally. “Baekhyun mentioned that there’s a guy in Hogsmeade?”

Junmyeon paused and slowly looked over at Kyungsoo. To his relief, Kyungsoo didn’t look too upset, and Junmyeon gave him a wary look. “Yeah. I’ve been meaning to tell you about that…” It had been three weeks since he’d let Baekhyun know what his deal was, back in the Ravenclaw common room, but since Kyungsoo was in Slytherin, it was a lot harder to find the right time and place to let Kyungsoo know how he was doing.

“But you’ve been buried up to your eyebrows in books,” Kyungsoo finished for him. “It’s ok.”

“Thanks.” Junmyeon set his quill down and leaned over to nestle his head on Kyungsoo’s broad shoulders.

“Baekhyun did mention that you never dropped a name, though,” Kyungsoo said casually.

Junmyeon lifted his head and gave Kyungsoo an impassive look, and Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. If you don’t want to tell me now, I won’t push it,” Kyungsoo grumbled. “How’s that schedule coming along?”

Junmyeon laughed softly with a mixture of relief and regret churning in his gut. He knew that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo wouldn’t judge him for liking Jongdae, but at the same time, he just couldn’t bring himself to tell them. “I just finished writing it on the parchment. Let me charm it in a minute and then you can take a look.”

“Ok.” Kyungsoo turned back to his papers as Junmyeon pulled out his wand. He lightly tapped the parchment and a few moments later, to his satisfaction, the letters and table that he’d drawn up began to swim around on the parchment, and then reorganized itself neatly. “Here,” Junmyeon said, and pushed the parchment in Kyungsoo’s direction with a small smile on his face.

Kyungsoo looked at the parchment with a critical eye. Then, he pulled his wand out of his sleeve and lightly tapped that parchment. “I’m giving you an extra hour of sleep,” Kyungsoo said firmly. “I’m moving the hour of charms practice that you had planned before bed to the open gap you left after dinner. Other than that, this looks a lot better than what you were pushing yourself to.” Kyungsoo handed him back the parchment and set his wand down on the table. “You’ll definitely have time to go visit Hogsmeade tomorrow Junmyeon. Try not to worry.”

“Thanks Soo.” Junmyeon folded up the parchment into a neat square and put it at the edge of the table.

“No problem,” Kyungsoo grunted. And they continued their homework in relative silence.




True to Kyungsoo’s word, the following morning, Junmyeon found himself bundled up in his winter gear and ready to go on the monthly trip to Hogsmeade. He was one of the few seventh years going, but thanks to the study schedule he’d worked out with Kyungsoo, he didn’t have to worry about any work to make up.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine here?” Junmyeon twisted his hands nervously as he watched Baekhyun scribble something down on his parchment.

Baekhyun looked up at him and smiled. “Don’t worry about me,” he reassured Junmyeon. “Kyungsoo said that he would meet me for a study session in an hour.”

Junmyeon still hesitated. “I can stay a little longer,” Junmyeon offered, “Until you go and meet Kyungsoo. If you want me to?” Junmyeon hated himself for making that sound like a question. When had his friendship with Baekhyun gotten so unstable?

Baekhyun set his quill down and gave Junmyeon a stern look. “I would love it if you stayed, but I would love it even more if you went down to Hogsmeade already,” Baekhyun said firmly. “You’ve been getting hyped up for this trip all month, go get your butterbeer. And the guy.”

Junmyeon snorted. “Thanks for the pep talk.”

“You’re welcome.” Baekhyun waved a dismissive hand at him. “Now, go have fun.”

“Alright. I’ll meet you and Kyungsoo later for dinner.” Junmyeon left the Ravenclaw common room and began making his way out of the castle. He shivered as he passed through the gates, but then he was out and he was free, and Junmyeon broke out into a light jog on the road to Hogsmeade.

By the time he reached the Three Broomsticks, Junmyeon’s cheeks were flushed red and he was sweating under the thick material of his cloak. He stopped in the village square and smoothed his hair down. He sat on the edge of the elaborate fountain in the center of the square and tried to catch his breath. He ignored the curious looks he was getting from some of the underclassmen that were passing through and just concentrated on regaining his composure.

“Junmyeon!”

Junmyeon snapped up, his cheeks flushing again with surprise. Could it be…?

Jongdae was standing a few feet away from him, his eyes wide with surprise. “Junmyeon, what are you doing out here? Aren’t you cold?” Jongdae walked over and perched on the edge of the fountain beside him.

Junmyeon cleared his throat, and a genuine smile slipped on to his face at the sight of Jongdae. He would never admit to anyone just how much he’d missed his crush during the last month. “Not really.” He neglected to mention that he’d been running to Hogsmeade. “Just…admiring the snow. I guess.”

Jongdae laughed. “You don’t know if you’re admiring the snow?” he teased. But then Jongdae was settling back ad tilting his face towards the sky. “The snow is really pretty,” he said after a few beats of comfortable silence.

“Yeah.” The smile on Junmyeon’s face refused to be tucked away. “What were you doing out here?”

“Oh!” Jongdae suddenly sprang off of the edge of the fountain. “I was just about to go check in for work.”

“Ah.” Junmyeon hastily got up from the fountain. “I was just about to go in to the Three Broomsticks. Let’s go together.”

Jongdae beamed and reached out and grabbed Junmyeon’s hand, pulling him along in the direction of the pub.

Junmyeon’s face felt like it was on fire, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he contentedly followed Jongdae into the warmth of the pub, and allowed himself to feel a quiet pang of disappointment when Jongdae let go.

“I’ll grab a butterbeer for you. Just let me check in with my boss,” Jongdae promised him, and with a smile, he melted into the shadows of the bar. Junmyeon shook himself out of his giddy stupor and went off into the corner to set up his study station.

True to his word, a little while later Jongdae brought him a butterbeer, but then he was bustling away again to go finish his work. Junmyeon was content to stay at the Three Broomsticks doing his homework and daydreaming about Jongdae for the rest of the afternoon.

“You’re still here?”

Junmyeon jumped in his seat and nearly knocked his ink bottle over. “Jongdae!”

“Sorry,” Jongdae chuckled as he slid into the seat across from Junmyeon. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You say that every time,” Junmyeon grumbled half-heartedly. He hastily scribbled the end of his sentence and set his quill down so that he could look Jongdae in the eye. “And yes. I am still here.”

“Why?” Jongdae blinked at him in bemusement. “It’s starting to get late, and you’ve spent all day in here.”

“Well.” Junmyeon gave Jongdae a steady look even as his hands shook beneath the table, and he willed his voice not to crack. “Why do you think?”

After a few moments of charged silence, Jongdae looked away, and Junmyeon didn’t think the sudden pink tinge to Jongdae’s cheek was a trick of the light.

“It’ll be your winter break soon,” Jongdae said abruptly. “Are you going to go back and visit your family?”

“Probably not,” Junmyeon sighed. “I have to stay here and study if I want top marks.”

“You and your ambitions,” Jongdae sighed and shook his head. “Have you even decided which one you want to do more?”

“Wandlore is starting to sound more tempting,” Junmyeon admitted. “But it’s so…abstract. Cursebreaking makes my head hurt less.”

“But you love wandlore more?” Jongdae asked tentatively.

Junmyeon shrugged. “It’s hard to say.” He laughed suddenly and sat back in his seat. “I guess my best option is to just do the best I can in everything.”

“Junmyeon, don’t run yourself into the ground.” Jongdae reached out across the table and put his hand over Junmyeon’s. “You have to take care of your health.”

“You don’t need to worry so much.” In a moment of bravery, Junmyeon turned his hand over and squeezed Jongdae’s fingers. “My friends are taking good care of me,” Junmyeon said quietly, the burst of courage gone as quickly as it had come, and he found himself unable to look Jongdae in the eye. “I’ll be alright.”

“Hmph.” Jongdae withdrew his hand after a moment, and Junmyeon cautiously looked up at him. “My family is coming on a trip up to Hogsmeade next month.” Jongdae smiled as he spoke. “I’m looking forward to it. I haven’t seen them for a little while.”

“That’s nice. You stayed here over the summer too, didn’t you?” Junmyeon felt genuinely happy for Jongdae—Jongdae had had a rough start in Hogsmeade when he was separated from his family and his friends when he started working at the Three Broomsticks last year.

“Yeah.” Jongdae sighed heavily. “But…it was worth it. I think I might have enough money saved up by the end of next year to try and make it on my own in London.”

“That’s great!” Junmyeon beamed at Jongdae.

“Yeah,” Jongdae said slowly. “It’ll be great.”

Junmyeon frowned. “Is something wrong? You’ve been dreaming about this for years now.”

“No! Not at all,” Jongdae said hastily. “It’s just…I guess I’m worried that…well…”

Junmyeon waited for Jongdae to finish his thought, but after a few moments of silence, Junmyeon could see that Jongdae didn’t want to keep going. “It’s alright if you don’t want to tell me,” Junmyeon said softly.

“I do want to tell you!” Jongdae slammed his hand down on the table, and Junmyeon flinched back in surprise. “It’s just—it’s difficult.”

“D-don’t push it,” Junmyeon stuttered, surprised that Jongdae had been frustrated enough to bang on the table. “You can tell me when you’re ready for it.”

Jongdae sighed heavily, as if all of his nervous energy had suddenly left his body in a single breath. “Thanks, Junmyeon.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon shifted nervously in his seat.

“I’ve made you worried.” Jongdae sighed quietly. “I’m sorry. You have enough to be worried about already.”

“It’s ok,” Junmyeon said instantly. “That’s—that’s what I’m here for.” He smiled at Jongdae, and he was relieved to see a little of the shadow fall away from Jongdae’s face.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. At last, Jongdae broke the silence again. “So…Junmyeon, how long have you had that cloak for?”

“This?” Junmyeon blinked and looked down at his cloak. “I guess it’s pretty old. I’ve had it since…fifth year, maybe? It’s starting to get holes again, I’ll have to send it home for mum to mend again. I can’t seem to ever get the hold of sewing charms, they’re just so tricky.”

Jongdae laughed at him. “You get so whiny when you can’t pick up a new charm,” he chuckled. “It’s adorable.”

Junmyeon blushed violently. “Thanks?”

“It was a compliment,” Jongdae said fondly. “But really—it’s starting to get pretty late, Junmyeon. How about I walk you back up to Hogwarts?”

“But…” Junmyeon hesitated. “Are you sure? It’ll be a bit of a walk home for you.”

“Nonsense!” Jongdae declared, and he began to get up from the table. “The walk will be good for me. And besides, I can apparate home.”

“Alright.” Junmyeon packed up his things and hoisted his bag over his shoulder. “What time is it anyways?”

“About eight o’clock,” Jongdae said absently. “Why?”

Junmyeon felt his stomach drop. Oh no. “I’m um…sort of supposed to be back by now,” he mumbled.

“Oh.” Jongdae blinked. “I suppose I could get you to the gates faster through side-along apparation.”

“I would appreciate it,” Junmyeon said softly.

“Well, let’s do it outside so that my boss doesn’t yell at me when I come in tomorrow.” Jongdae smiled at him and turned to lead the way out. Junmyeon followed him, wincing as his silencing charm dissipated and the hubbub of the Three Broomsticks hit his ears with full force. He quickly followed to Jongdae out into the evening. Thankfully, it had stopped snowing, but it was still freezing and Junmyeon quickly pulled his hood up over his head.

Jongdae offered him his arm, turned on his heel, and they were apparating (Junmyeon hated the sensation; it always made him feel claustrophobic), and then they were standing in front of the Hogwarts gates. Junmyeon hadn’t had time for the optional apparition class at Hogwarts last year, and had decided to wait to learn until after he graduated this summer.

“Thank you.” Junmyeon quickly released Jongdae’s arm and turned towards the gates. He hoped that Kyungsoo and Baekhyun wouldn’t mind if he was a little late to dinner. “I’ll see you next month.”

“See you!” Jongdae called after him. Junmyeon raised a hand in response, and then he disappeared into the Hogwarts grounds leaving Jongdae alone on the path.



December

“I wish you were coming home with us,” Baekhyun griped as he lugged his suitcase down the stairs. “Kyungsoo’s coming over to my house for part of break.”

“I know. I wish I could go home and see Jongin, but…I have to stay and make up for the coursework I missed when I burned my hand in potions,” Junmyeon sighed. Junmyeon had been going back and forth over the idea of heading home for winter holiday, but it had been decided for him by the unfortunate accident. He had been tasked with carrying Baekhyun’s cat carrier. Baekhyun’s kitten, Sehun, had always gotten along marvelously with Junmyeon, but right now Sehun didn’t seem too happy about being stuck in his carrier

“Yeah,” Baekhyun grunted when they finally reached the bottom of the stairs. They paused for a quick break for Baekhyun to wipe the sweat from his face. “Don’t get too lonely though, ok?”

“I won’t,” Junmyeon reassured him with a warm look. “Plenty of Ravenclaws are staying for the break.”

“Hmph.” Baekhyun gave him a skeptical look as they continued their descent to the Great Hall.

“I’ll be fine!” Junmyeon insisted. “Besides, Minseok said that he’d gotten permission from the Headmaster to visit me on New Year’s Day.”

“Minseok,” Baekhyun repeated. “Which sibling is that one?”

“Minseok is my oldest brother,” Junmyeon said patiently. Baekhyun was always confused about who was who in his family.

“Minseok’s your oldest brother? I thought that was Jongin.” Baekhyun gave him a look of sheer confusion, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Jongin is my baby nephew,” Junmyeon spluttered. “Ailee is my big sister, and she’s Jongin’s mom.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun just decided to leave it at that. Junmyeon had a huge family, with plenty of siblings and extended relations. On the other hand, Baekhyun’s family was much smaller, as most of their relations lived in Korea. Thank goodness it was just Baekbom and him; he had no idea how he would have been able to keep track of anyone else. “Well, I’m glad Minseok can make it.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey guys!” The conversation was interrupted by Kyungsoo coming up behind them.

“Have fun at home, Soo,” Junmyeon said. He struggled to keep the wistfulness out of his voice—he really did wish that he could go home. It had been an unfortunate accident in potions that had set him behind on his schoolwork.

“We’ll write to you,” Kyungsoo promised as they headed out to the gates.

“Okay.” Junmyeon brightened up a little bit at that. He doubted that he would have much to tell either Baekhyun or Kyungsoo while he spent winter break at Hogwarts, but it would be nice to stay in touch with the two of them. They wound their way through the carriages until they found and empty one, and Junmyeon helped the two of them stow their luggage away. Junmyeon couldn’t help thinking that something was different between the two of them. The change in their dynamic had happened a couple of weeks ago, and if Junmyeon didn’t know better, he would almost be tempted to say that they were shyer around each other for some reason. But that didn’t make any sense—Baekhyun was loud and Kyungsoo was always grumping at him to be quiet. There was no reason for them to have changed.

Yet, even as he watched, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s hands brushed and they both blushed and looked away from each other.

Right. Junmyeon cleared his throat. “Well, I should probably head back to the castle.” Junmyeon pulled uncomfortably at his ratty winter cloak. “I’ll see you two when you come back from break!”

There was a round of hugs and good-byes, and then Junmyeon scurried back to the castle and away from the awkward tension between his two friends. Really, what was going on between them? Maybe they’d had a fight. But Baekhyun said that Kyungsoo was going to visit him during break, so they were probably still stuck in the awkward make-up stage. Junmyeon felt slightly comforted at the thought, and he hurried on his way back up to Ravenclaw Tower.





As Junmyeon expected, winter break was passing by rather uneventfully. Junmyeon had managed to catch himself up on all of his work in the first week and a half, leaving him the remaining week and a half to relax. He’d sent off his Christmas presents to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo yesterday (Christmas was in two days, so he wanted to give the school owls plenty of time to get to their destinations). Honestly, though, today was what he’d been looking forward to the most. The teachers had authorized an extra Hogsmeade trip for the older students, and Junmyeon was all set and ready to go. He had a present tucked away in his bag for Jongdae, and he’d done his best to mend the holes in his cloak himself. Really, he needed to get a new one—he should probably just stop at a shop in Hogsmeade while he was out today.

Junmyeon left the castle with a smile on his face and a spring in his step, despite the cold. He hurried along through the snow to the Three Broomsticks. He would visit Jongdae for a bit, and then he would go run his own errands. He didn’t have any schoolwork with him for once, and Junmyeon felt nostalgic as he thought back to his far more care-free fourth year days.

Junmyeon entered the Three Broomsticks and was nearly knocked over by a wall of sound. It seemed that many of the people staying in Hogsmeade had decided to escape the cold by coming here. Junmyeon wrinkled his nose as he scanned the crowd trying to search for Jongdae. His heart sank when he realized that he couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Junmyeon!”

Junmyeon turned at the sound of his name, and he couldn’t hide the relief and joy he felt when he saw Jongdae. “Jongdae!”

To his surprise, Jongdae walked over and gave him a hug. Junmyeon quietly hugged him back, and then drew away. “You aren’t in your work uniform…”

“Yeah, boss gave me the rest of the day off for the holidays. She and her partner are going to cover the pub for the next shift.” Jongdae beamed at him. “I saw other Hogwarts students drop by already, and I was worried that you weren’t going to come.”

“Of course I was coming. I told you I’d drop by for the holidays in my last owl,” Junmyeon said quietly, a smile still resting at the corner of his lips.

“I’m actually about to head back to my apartment. Do you want to come with me? My family is dropping by in an hour to come visit me.”

“Your apartment?” Junmyeon asked in surprise. Whenever he met Jongdae, it had always been here at the Three Broomsticks. But Junmyeon supposed that they never really had a chance to meet anywhere else, given that Jongdae always seemed to be working. “I…are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise.” Jongdae gave him a warm smile, and Junmyeon felt himself melting a little bit.

“Well, alright.” Junmyeon took a step back so that Jongdae could lead the way.

“Oh wait! Hold on, let me grab a few bottles of butterbeer for you. You wouldn’t want to forget that,” Jongdae winked at him. “Hold on a moment. I’ll be right back.”

“Wait—” Junmyeon tried to stop Jongdae and tell him that he didn’t need to, but Jongdae was already gone.

Jongdae came back a few minutes later. “Here you go.” Jongdae passed him a case of butterbeer as they exited out into the snow. “Sorry it took a while.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Junmyeon stopped for a moment to put the bottles in his bag. “So…which way do we go?”

“This way.” Jongdae gently guided Junmyeon into an off-branching alleyway out of the town square. He struck up a conversation about Junmyeon’s schoolwork, and expressed concern over the burn on his hand.

“The nurse couldn’t heal the burn quickly?” Jongdae frowned. “I know that I burned my hands a couple of times, but I was back in class within the hour.”

“It was a magical burn from a potion splatter.” Junmyeon grimaced. “I had to wait for a week in the infirmary while Madam Jung figured out how to treat it.”

“That sucks,” Jongdae said sympathetically. “But I’m glad that you’re healed now.” Jongdae stopped in front of a building with a small, iron gate at the front. “Ah, we’re here.”

Junmyeon looked up at the building they’d stopped in front of. It was a cozy-looking two story house. Junmyeon could see lights on in several of the rooms. “Seems like a nice place.”

“It is. Most of the other boarders here are pretty nice.” Jongdae pulled his wand out of his sleep and tapped it against the gate to open it. He led Junmyeon up a flight of stairs and down a corridor. He stopped at a door in the middle of the hall and fished around in his pockets for his keys.

After a minute of muttering and pulling various items out of his pockets (Junmyeon still wasn’t sure how Jongdae had managed to fit an eight-hundred page cookbook into the back of his jeans) Jongdae finally produced the key with a triumphant grin. “Here we go!” he announced as he stuck they key into the keyhole and opened the door. “This is where I live.”

Junmyeon cautiously stepped inside and curiously glanced around. He politely took of his boots and trailed after Jongdae into the apartment. The rooms were neat and clean, and Jongdae told Junmyeon go sit on the couch while he boiled a pot of water for tea.

Junmyeon perched in Jongdae’s living room, his eyes wandering around the walls. Jongdae had put up several pieces of artwork, along with some family photos and wizarding band posters. Junmyeon glanced at the coffee table in front of him, and then reached out to pick up the silver photo frame lying on the table.

“I see you’ve found my family!” Jongdae came back into the living room with a pot of tea and a set of tea cups floating in front of him. He flicked his wand, and they settled down neatly onto the coffee table as Jongdae came to sit next to Junmyeon. Junmyeon blushed at their sudden closeness, but Jongdae acted as if he didn’t notice. “These are my parents.” Jongdae pointed at a young man and woman beaming and waving. “This is my older brother, Jongdeok,” Jongdae pointed at a surly looking teenager who glanced at his beaming parents and smiled every once in a while, “and that’s me when I was eight.” Young Jongdae was standing in front of his parents and beaming his signature kitten smile. Junmyeon realized, with a start, that Jongdae’s hair was straight and short in the picture. “You don’t have curly hair,” Junmyeon murmured, leaning closer to the picture in sheer fascination. “That’s so weird.”

Jongdae laughed at him and gently set the frame back on the table. “I haven’t even had curly hair for that long.”

“I’m used to it now though.” Junmyeon reached up and poked at a stray curl.

Jongdae laughed and nudged him with his knee. “I’ve actually been thinking about turning it straight again. My cousin keeps begging me to.”

Junmyeon couldn’t help but privately agree with Jongdae’s cousin. He’d liked Jongdae with his straight, long-ish, hair the best. “Whatever you think is best,” he said diplomatically.

Jongdae smiled at him, and then glanced beside Junmyeon. His eyes widened when he noticed that Junmyeon’s cloak was folded up neatly on the armrest of the sofa. “Oh hold on, I have something for you, let me go grab it.”

Junmyeon opened his mouth to protest, but Jongdae had already sprinted out of the room

Junmyeon rolled his eyes. What was it with Jongdae and running off before Junmyeon could get a word out?

A moment later, Jongdae came tumbling back into the room with a package in his hands. “It’s a couple days early, but merry Christmas!” Jongdae beamed at him, and Junmyeon blinked in surprise.

“I…Jongdae, you didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” Jongdae said good-naturedly. “Although, even if it is a Christmas present, I…maybe you should open it now.”

“Should I?” Junmyeon blinked at Jongdae in bemusement, doing his best to hide the fuzzy feeling threatening to overwhelm him.

“You should!” Jongdae said firmly, and he pressed the package into Junmyeon’s hands. “You mentioned that you were going to go run errands in a bit, so this should help.”

“Oh?” Junmyeon frowned slightly as he gently teased the wrapping off the package. He had no idea what Jongdae could’ve gotten him. The packaging parted to reveal a glimpse of blue cloth, and Junmyeon blinked in surprise when he finally opened the parcel all the way, and had a handful of deep blue cloak.

“Do you like it?” Jongdae asked eagerly. “I noticed that your cloak isn’t in the best state, so…”

“I love it!” Junmyeon said earnestly and leaned over to throw his arms around Jongdae. “It’s so pretty.”

Jongdae gave him a squeeze and then leaned back, his eyes glinting with satisfaction when he saw that Junmyeon genuinely enjoyed his gift.

Junmyeon reached into his bag and rummaged around for a few moments before picking out a small package. “I have something for you too…but you have to wait until Christmas to open it.” Junmyeon handed it to Jongdae with a nervous smile.

Jongdae caught Junmyeon’s hands between his, and Junmyeon froze, the uneasy smile falling off of his face. “Jongdae?”

“Junmyeon.” Jongdae gave him a serious look, and Junmyeon felt a flush rising to his cheeks. Had Jongdae been sitting this close to him the whole time? And was it just Junmyeon, or were their faces getting closer and closer to each other…

The clock on the wall chimed four o’clock, and Jongdae let go of Junmyeon’s hands in surprise. Junmyeon hastily dropped the package into Jongdae’s lap and shot to his feet. “U-uh.”

Was that a brief flash of disappointment in Jongdae’s eyes? Junmyeon brushed it away, his heart still hammering in his chest. “I um. I need to go run errands now…I don’t want to be late again,” Junmyeon mumbled unsteadily. What had that been? Had Jongdae really been leaning closer?

“Okay.” Jongdae got to his feet beside Junmyeon. “You’ve been late the past few times, haven’t you?”

“Y-yeah.” Junmyeon turned around and quickly pulled the blue cloak over his shoulders. He felt a brief pang of surprise when he noticed the quality of the material. Jongdae had gone all out for him—Junmyeon could only hope that his gift (a vest with a silencing charm on it; Junmyeon had charmed it himself, and he had provided Jongdae with very careful instructions for its care) would measure up.

Jongdae looked at him for a moment, and then readjusted the cloak around his shoulders.

“How do I look?” Junmyeon did his best to gather his composure and gave Jongdae a teasing smile.

“You look perfect.”

The utter sincerity in Jongdae’s voice made Junmyeon’s stomach drop. He felt his face light on fire again, and he cursed himself for blushing all the time. “Thanks.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment. “Well, I guess I should get going. Thanks for having me over.” Junmyeon smiled at Jongdae and took a tentative step towards the door.

“It was no trouble.” Jongdae followed him over to the door. “I’ll walk you out to the gate.”

“Alright.” Junmyeon sat down on the ground to pull his boots on. “Thanks.”

“Sure.” Jongdae waited until Junmyeon was ready, and then he opened the door and away they went.

“Thanks again for having me over,” Junmyeon said cheerfully once they reached the gate. Snow had started to fall in sparse flakes again, and Junmyeon shivered and drew his scarf tighter around his neck. “I’ll see you next month.”

“Yeah.” Jongdae bit his lip, glanced at Junmyeon, and then away. “Merry Christmas, I guess.”

“Merry Christmas.” Junmyeon smiled at him. After a moment of silence, Jongdae tentatively reached out and flipped his hood back. A snowflake landed on Junmyeon’s face and he wrinkled his nose as the cold water hit his cheek—but then Jongdae was suddenly standing right in front of him, and Junmyeon held back the startled gasp that wanted to escape his chest.

Suddenly, there was a loud crack, and an older man with straight black hair and a suitcase stood about three feet away from them. Junmyeon and Jongdae leapt apart in surprise, and Jongdae let out a groan. “Jongdeok!”

“Well you certainly sound excited to see me.” The man, Jongdeok, raised an eyebrow at Jongdae, but then noticed Junmyeon quietly edging away. “…Ah. I’ll just see myself upstairs then.” Jongdeok headed into the house, and Jongdae turned back to Junmyeon.

“Sorry about that. It looks like I have to go now.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Junmyeon mumbled, his palms sweating and his heart racing in his chest for the second time that afternoon. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“See ya.” Jongdae smiled at him, and after hesitating for a moment, reached out and pulled Junmyeon’s hood back up.

“’Bye.” Junmyeon smiled shyly at Jongdae, waved, and then turned away. As Junmyeon walked away, he heard another crack and the sound of Jongdae greeting his mother. It must be nice, having his family over for the holidays.


And yet, even though he was happy for Jongdae, he couldn’t help the little bubble of disappointment in his heart when he thought about those two interrupted moments.








February

It had been a rough few weeks. Winter break had been relaxing, but once everyone had flooded back into the castle to begin their second term, teachers had started piling homework on them like there was no tomorrow. Junmyeon hadn’t been able to make the last Hogsmeade trip, and his contact with Jongdae was limited to the owls that they sent back and forth. Junmyeon felt frustrated, both with himself and the circumstances—why couldn’t he control his emotions? And why did he always have to bogged down with hours of schoolwork?

Things finally came to a head a week before Valentine’s Day. Junmyeon had been sitting in the Ravenclaw common room since five o’clock, working on essays for charms, potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. At last, he decided that he wasn’t making any real progress, and it was time for him to take a break. He pushed all of his homework to one side of his table and stretched, his spine popping and his joints cracking. He opened his mouth to apologize to his fellow studiers, only to realize that there was only two other people in the room. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. Baekhyun was lying down with his head resting in Kyungsoo’s lap on the sofa next to Junmyeon’s table. Kyungsoo had his head thrown back against the top of the sofa, and his eyes were closed. One of his hands was nestled lightly on top of Baekhyun’s head, and the other was thrown carelessly over the back of the sofa.

Junmyeon sighed softly and leaned back in his seat. His friends looked so peaceful, snoring softly as the firelight danced across their bodies. Junmyeon’s heart ached for some peace and quiet—for some time for himself, for some time to relax. Before Junmyeon quite realized what was happening, his vision was blurring and he was having trouble breathing. He let out a choked noise as the room started swimming around him, and all of a sudden there was a comforting warmth on his back and Baekhyun was speaking into his ear.

“Junmyeon? Junmyeon, are you ok?”

Junmyeon slowly calmed down, drinking in the warmth of Baekhyun’s palm on his back and the solidity of Baekhyun’s presence at his side. “…I’m fine.” The room stopped spinning, and Junmyeon rubbed furiously at his eyes. “Fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Kyungsoo was sitting straight up, his eyes wide with worry.

“Come sit on the sofa with us,” Baekhyun suggested, gently guiding Junmyeon out of his seat to sit between himself and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun moved his hand from Junmyeon’s back to his shoulder, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb.

Junmyeon sat between his two friends and felt a dizzying wave of self-loathing. What was he doing? They had been so peaceful, and now he was messing things up by having a breakdown. Junmyeon felt tears threatening to escape from his eyelids, and he covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t do this right now. He couldn’t—couldn’t keep up this façade for much longer.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo didn’t say anything. They waited until his shoulders stopped shaking, and he’d wiped his eyes with a handkerchief that he’d conjured up.

Kyungsoo made the first move. “Junmyeon?” He put a tentative hand on Junmyeon’s thigh.

Junmyeon sniffled in response.

“I…” Kyungsoo trailed off. “Do you…do you want to talk about it?”

Junmyeon just sniffled again.

“Junmyeon…if you tell us what’s wrong, maybe we can help,” Baekhyun said gently, his hand still rubbing gentle circles into Junmyeon’s shoulder. “We’re here for you.”

Junmyeon sat silently for a few moments. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun held their breath and shared a look over Junmyeon’s shoulders; was Junmyeon going to open up, or were they going to have to push him a bit more?

Just as Baekhyun opened his mouth to speak again, Junmyeon started talking.

“I hate being like this,” Junmyeon sighed. “I just…I don’t even know what I want any more. Or how I feel.” Junmyeon laughed drily and leaned back into the couch. “Maybe I just need more sleep. I don’t know.”

“Nuh uh.” Baekhyun shook his head and poked Junmyeon harshly in the arm. “You are not getting out of this conversation with humor.”

Kyungsoo shot Baekhyun a quelling look over Junmyeon’s shoulder. “I thought that you were making progress,” Kyungsoo said softly. “You decided that you wanted to go into wandlore around New Years, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon sighed and then reached over to grab one of Baekhyun’s hands, squeezing in quiet apology. “That wasn’t what I was talking about.”

“Oh.” Kyungsoo blinked in surprise. “Then…what were you talking about?”

Junmyeon tensed, his hands and shoulders tightening with hesitation. He still hadn’t told Kyungsoo and Baekhyun who his crush was, or who he was sending owls to all the time. They knew that he and Jongdae were friends, and—maybe it was time for him to take a leap of faith. They knew what Jongdae was like, and they probably wouldn’t judge Junmyeon for loving him…hopefully.

“Jongdae.” Junmyeon took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. “I was talking about Jongdae.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Junmyeon realized that he’d probably been squeezing the living daylights out of Baekhyun’s fingers. He hastily loosened his grip, but Baekhyun just clung on tighter. “You don’t know how you feel about Jongdae?”

“No! I mean…yes. Ugh.” Junmyeon felt tears threatening to slip from his eyes again. “I mean, I do know how I feel about him.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo patted his thigh. “Is he…?”

“Yeah. He’s that guy that I told you about last term,” Junmyeon mumbled. He glanced from Kyungsoo’s eyes to Baekhyun’s eyes, and he felt a wave of relief wash over him when he saw no judgement in their faces.

“So.” Baekhyun shifted so that he was curled up into Junmyeon’s side. “You like him, right?”

“No.” Junmyeon cleared his throat slightly. “I…I love him.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo reached out over Junmyeon’s legs and smacked Baekhyun when Baekhyun made a gagging noise. “Did something happen between the two of you?”

“Well…not really.” Junmyeon began playing with Baekhyun’s fingers as he did his best to collect his thoughts. “I didn’t get to see him last month, but we’ve been sending owls pretty often.”

“Do you miss him?” Kyungsoo looked at him with innocent curiosity, and Junmyeon forced himself not to lash out at his friend. He was beyond missing Jongdae! His days felt lonely and empty, and he felt as if a huge weight was sitting on his heart.

But maybe Kyungsoo had a point. Maybe Junmyeon had been so busy drowning himself in work that he’d missed the main part of his feelings—that he simply missed Jongdae. Junmyeon felt his chest loosen a little at the simplicity of the thought. “…Yeah,” Junmyeon mumbled. “I miss him a lot.”

To his dismay, he felt a tear rolling down his face, and he hastily wiped it away with his free hand.

“The Hogsmeade trip is next week,” Kyungsoo said quietly. “Are you looking forward to seeing him?”

“Yes.” Junmyeon curled in on himself so that his feet were resting on the edge of the sofa. “But…”

“But what?” Baekhyun twisted around so that he could look at Junmyeon’s face without getting an uncomfortable crick in his neck.

“What if he…” Junmyeon hesitated. This was one of his greatest fears, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to voice it aloud.

“What? Do you think he doesn’t like you back?” Baekhyun frowned.

“Maybe.” Junmyeon opened and closed his mouth as he tried to speak his next words with great care. “I mean…I’m not…” Junmyeon struggled for a few moments. “I’m not very much,” he said at last. Baekhyun shifted sharply next to him, but Junmyeon forged ahead, because honestly, this needed to be said. “I’m not much, let’s be honest. I barely know what I want to do, I haven’t accomplished much, and all I’m really good at is studying. And to Jongdae, I must seem like a child. I mean, Jongdae—he’s been working towards a goal for years now. He knows what he wants to do, and he has the skills and the ambition to do it. And I’m just—I’m not anything.” Junmyeon’s voice dropped to a soft whisper. “Why would he want me?”

There was a moment of silence, and then all of a sudden, Baekhyun pushed away from Junmyeon and stood up. He towered over the couch, his eyes ablaze with quiet, hardened fury.

“You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking, Junmyeon.” Baekhyun’s voice ripped through the silence like a knife, and Junmyeon instinctively curled up even tighter, tears welling up and out of his eyes, dripping down his cheeks. Kyungsoo remained seated at Junmyeon’s side, but didn’t make a sound, just kept his hand quietly on Junmyeon’s thigh.

“I’m so sick of this.” Baekhyun’s voice was sharp with venom. “You—why can’t you see?” Baekhyun raised his hands to his head and grasped at his own hair with frustration. “Junmyeon—Junmyeon.” Baekhyun let go of his hair and knelt down in front of the couch. His voice softened, but the flames in his eyes remained unabated. “Why don’t you see how much you’re worth?” Baekhyun asked gently. “You are full of ambition, Junmyeon. And if you don’t believe me, remember that it was you who told me that the Sorting Hat nearly placed you in Slytherin. Junmyeon, you have the skills, and the talent that it takes to follow your ambitions. You are the only person in our year going into wandlore—and why do you think that is? It’s because not everyone can do it. Not everyone has the strength, the wits, or the talent to pursue it. But you do. And outside of school, Junmyeon, you are our best friend.”

At last, Baekhyun’s eyes softened, and he put a gentle hand on Junmyeon’s ankle. “You are the glue that holds the three of us together. You’ve held the three of us together through all the good and the bad, and we couldn’t hope to be complete without you.” Baekhyun squeezed Junmyeon’s ankle as Junmyeon peeped out at him through his knees. “If Jongdae thinks that you aren’t worth much, than he’s and idiot, and he’s not worth your time. We know that you’re worth something incredible, Junmyeon. You are incredible, you are beautiful, you are strong, and most of all—you are worth it.” Baekhyun’s lip trembled when Junmyeon hesitantly uncurled his body and reached out to hold Baekhyun’s hand. “You’re worth everything to us,” Baekhyun said quietly. A tear slipped out of the corner of Baekhyun’s eye, and he hastily dashed it away with his free hand. “We love you Junmyeon. We think—Junmyeon, we love you.”

Junmyeon let out a quiet sob, and Baekhyun got off of the floor and into his lap. Kyungsoo swung his legs around so that they were a tangle of limbs on the couch as Baekhyun and Junmyeon shuddered with quiet sobs. Kyungsoo continued to breathe evenly, but when Junmyeon looked over at him, he saw tears on his cheeks as well.

“Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo gave him a serious look, and Junmyeon felt even smaller than he already felt.

“Y-yeah?”

“Baekhyun couldn’t say it better. We love you. And you’re worth all of that,” Kyungsoo said quietly. “And if you’re afraid that Jongdae thinks you aren’t—well, he’s dumb.”

Junmyeon gave Kyungsoo a watery smile. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo smiled back at him, and Junmyeon felt some of the weight on his chest start to float away.

That sat quietly for a while, just listening to the crackle of the low fire. Junmyeon started to dose off, but he suddenly sat bolt upright with a gasp. “Kyungsoo!”

“What?” Kyungsoo didn’t flinch, but he gave Junmyeon a wide-eyed look of panic.

Baekhyun had passed out a while ago, and didn’t even stir.

“What are you even doing here? Did the prefects say that it was alright for you to be here this late?” Junmyeon’s hands started shaking as he attempted to budge Baekhyun off of his lap. “We have to get you out of here!”

“Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo caught one of Junmyeon’s trembling hands. “Calm down. It’s fine, the prefects went up to bed ages ago, and I’ll make sure to slip out early so that no one catches me.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t tell you off for showing up in the first place.” Junmyeon relaxed slightly and squeezed Kyungsoo’s hands.

“I think they’ve gotten used to it,” Kyungsoo muttered, a small grin tickling the edge of his lips. “I mean, I’ve been showing up here for the past four years.”

They sat in comfortable silence, until Junmyeon remembered something that had been bothering him since December. “Kyungsoo?”

“Mm?” Kyungsoo raised his eyebrows at him.

“Did something happen between you and Baekhyun before winter break?” Junmyeon asked tentatively. “You two were acting a little weird.”

Was it the firelight, or was Kyungsoo blushing? Kyungsoo laughed at Junmyeon’s startled look. “Uh…kind of,” he admitted, still chuckling a little. “Baekhyun…he…”

Baekhyun snorted and shifted suddenly. They both stiffened and fell silent, but Baekhyun never woke up and continued to snore away, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“He told me he liked me,” Kyungsoo murmured quietly, his eyes trained intently on Baekhyun’s face.

“…Oh.” Junmyeon blinked in surprise. How had he missed that? But then again, he had sort of pushed both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo away last year. Apparently, he’d managed to miss some very important things. “What did you do?”

“Well…I wasn’t sure how I felt at the time,” Kyungsoo admitted. “And I told him that. And he told me that he was ok with waiting, so we’ve…waited.”

“Do you know how you feel now?” Junmyeon asked. Secretly, he already knew the answer—he could see it in the way Kyungsoo’s eyes softened as he watched the firelight play across Baekhyun’s face.

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo looked over at Junmyeon. “Is that…alright?”

“Of course!” Junmyeon said instantly. “I’m really happy for you guys.” And he was sincere—even if he wasn’t sure how things were going with Jongdae, and he wasn’t happy with himself, he was definitely happy for his friends.

“The thing is,” Kyungsoo continued, “he…hasn’t said anything about it since then. And I know how I feel now, but the right time to tell him has never really come up.”

“Well, it is Valentine’s Day next week,” Junmyeon said warmly. “I’m sure you can think of something.”

“I guess,” Kyungsoo muttered. They sat quietly after that, and before Junmyeon realized that his mind was starting to quiet down, he was already asleep.





Things improved gradually after that. The next morning, Junmyeon woke up to just Baekhyun sprawled across his lap, Kyungsoo having already fled the premises. Junmyeon gently shook Baekhyun to wake him up, and then crawled off of the couch to collect his homework and put it in his bag. Baekhyun came up and hugged from behind, and Junmyeon leaned back into the touch. He didn’t mention what Kyungsoo had told him; besides, he still wasn’t totally convinced that Baekhyun had been asleep.

“Did we help you, at all?” Baekhyun murmured in his ear, his fingers tightening with worry on Junmyeon’s waist.

“Yes!” Junmyeon turned around and hugged Baekhyun tightly. “You helped a lot,” he mumbled. “Thank you.”

Baekhyun squeezed him for a moment, and then let go. “Well…I guess we’d better go change. Freshen up for a new day.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon smiled and hoisted his bag over his shoulder. “We’ll have to be careful not to wake the others up, though.”

“They’re probably up already. Or at least, Yifan probably is. I heard that the quidditch team has morning practice today.”

“Poor guy.” Junmyeon hid a huge yawn behind his hand as he and Baekhyun made their way towards the staircase leading up to the seventh year’s rooms.

Baekhyun made a sleepy noise of agreement, and they went on with their day.

The topic of Jongdae didn’t come up again until about halfway through the week. He and Baekhyun had been talking about it, and when Junmyeon had nervously admitted that he still felt like Jongdae wouldn’t think he was worth it, Baekhyun had gotten up and left in a huff. Junmyeon waited up for Baekhyun to come back to the dormitory that night, worried that he’d messed things up for good.

Baekhyun showed up around midnight, right after Junmyeon finished his essay on the common ingredients found in healing potions.

“Baek?"

“Oh, you’re still awake.” Baekhyun looked at him with surprise, and then laughed softly. “I shouldn’t be surprised, you always stay up this late anyways.”

“Where’ve you been? And how did you not get caught?” Junmyeon capped his bottle of ink and began rolling his essay up.

Baekhyun crossed the room and flung himself down in the chair across from Junmyeon. “There was a fair amount of sneaking, and quite possibly a few dungbombs,” Baekhyun snickered. “Professor Bang almost got me at the bottom of the staircase, but I managed to get away.”

“What were you doing, though? Usually, you come back to the common room to study with me after dinner.” Junmyeon struggled, and failed miserably to keep the pout out of his voice.

Baekhyun’s eyes softened. “I know. I had to go down to the library to get a book, and then before I realized it, it was already this late.”

“The librarian didn’t notice that you were still there?” Junmyeon asked skeptically.

Baekhyun nodded solemnly, and Junmyeon decided to just not question it. “Well, I’m ahead on my study schedule,” he said brightly, quickly changing the subject. “I think I can make the Hogsmeade trip this week!”

“Don’t overwork yourself trying to get ahead,” Baekhyun said immediately, reaching out to poke Junmyeon’s nose, and laughing when Junmyeon wrinkled his nose at him. “Are you getting Jongdae something for Valentine’s Day?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon admitted after a moment. “I don’t even know if he has romantic feelings for me.”

“Hmph.” Baekhyun gave him a soft look. “Well, it’s just something to think about, I suppose.”

Junmyeon felt tempted to ask Baekhyun if he was planning on getting something for Kyungsoo, but then decided against it. “I guess.”

“Are you done for the night?”

“Yeah, I just finished.” Junmyeon tucked his scroll neatly into his bag and stood up. “Shall we go to bed?”

And they headed upstairs, without Junmyeon suspecting anything.

The morning of Valentine’s Day, Junmyeon felt sick to his stomach. Of course Baekhyun would pull of something crazy like this, and also manage to rope Kyungsoo into his plan.

“Take it, Junmyeon. Kyungsoo slaved over it for days, just for you!” Baekhyun held out the bottle of hot pink liquid towards Junmyeon.

Junmyeon swallowed harshly and took a step back. “I don’t want it.” Hysteria built up in his throat. “Baekhyun—love potions are illegal. All three of us could get carted off to the Ministry!”

“Junmyeon.” The smile abruptly dropped from Baekhyun’s face, and Junmyeon pursed his lips. “If you really think that Jongdae doesn’t think you’re worth it—well, you don’t have to use this. But just take it with you.”

Both boys flinched when they heard someone walking down the corridor towards them, and Junmyeon grabbed the potion and hastily stuffed it into the inner pocket of his cloak. A moment later, Professor Bang rounded the corner and gave the two of them a suspicious look. “What are you boys doing here?”

“We’re just about to head out on the Hogsmeade trip.” Junmyeon gave the professor his most innocent smile and grabbed Baekhyun’s arm to lead him away.

“Stay out of trouble, boys,” the professor said sternly.

“Of course, professor!” Baekhyun chirped.

Professor Bang rolled his eyes and swept away as Baekhyun and Junmyeon hurried down to the entrance hall to meet Kyungsoo.

Junmyeon didn’t say anything about the love potion the rest of the way to Hogsmeade, and he grimaced when Kyungsoo gave him a hug outside of the Three Broomsticks and wished him luck. He watched his friends walk away and he hesitantly brushed his hand across the pocket inside of his cloak. He strengthened his resolve. Whatever happened between Jongdae and himself today, he was not using that pink bottle.

Junmyeon stepped into the Three Broomsticks and threw his hood back. He surveyed the crowd of happy (somewhat tipsy) customers, and began making his way towards an unoccupied table in the back.

“Junmyeon!” Suddenly, Jongdae materialized in front of him and put an arm around Junmyeon’s waist to keep him from tripping. “Butterbeer for you?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon smiled at Jongdae, and hoped that he wasn’t blushing too hard. Jongdae was probably just being friendly…right? “Thanks.”

Jongdae winked at him and strode off, leaving Junmyeon to reach his table alone. Junmyeon plonked his things down and set up his silencing charm. He glanced up to see Jongdae weaving his way between tables, and smiled when he realized that Jongdae was wearing the vest that Junmyeon had given him for Christmas.

Junmyeon pulled out his work and began scribbling away at an astronomy chart. Wandlore was surprisingly steeped in astronomy—certain wood had to be collected at certain times, spells had to be cast, and ingredients had to be gathered during specific points of the moon cycle so that a wand could be as powerful and potent as possible.

Jongdae came by with his butterbeer and then whizzed off as business roared in the pub. Junmyeon kept his head down and plowed through his work for a solid three hours before finally setting down his quill with a sigh. He capped up his ink bottle and took a sip of his butterbeer as he waited for his paper to dry.

Usually, butterbeer made Junmyeon feel content. Today, though, it seemed like the drink wasn’t going to do him any favors. Junmyeon glanced nervously at the thin leather slip sticking out of his school bag. Baekhyun had given him that potion, but Junmyeon had already made up his mind for what he was going to do for Valentine’s Day. Junmyeon had been practicing this transfiguration spell for ages, and it had finally produced the results he wanted. He’d quickly stored the product in the magical leather sleeve, and he could only hope that Jongdae would like what he’d done.

“Junmyeon?”

“Jongdae!” Junmyeon smiled at Jongdae when Jongdae slumped into the seat across from him. He raised his eyebrow when Jongdae dumped a pile of flowers, letters, and heart-shaped boxes on the table. “What’re all those?”

“Valentines,” Jongdae grimaced. “Apparently I get along a little too well with some of the customers here.”

“Oh.” Junmyeon blinked. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“Wait, wait—I wasn’t talking about you, silly.” Jongdae laughed, but Junmyeon just smiled weakly. “Hey, what’s the matter?” Jongdae nudged Junmyeon’s foot beneath the table. “You look a little…blue.”

“I just.” Junmyeon took a deep breath. He could do this. He was going to do this—he’d promised himself. “I uh.”

Jongdae looked at him expectantly.

Never mind. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this at all. “You have a lot of admirers!” Junmyeon blurted out instead.

Was it just Junmyeon, or did the tiniest bit of disappointment flash across Jongdae’s face? “I guess so.” Jongdae looked at the pile of valentines in front of him. “I was a little surprised, to be honest.”

“Well.” Junmyeon coughed awkwardly. “Uh…so how’s that vest working?”

“It’s working great!” Jongdae looked a little bemused. “Junmyeon, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Junmyeon said instantly. “I’m…fine.”

Jongdae gave him a skeptical look. “Do you want to get some fresh air?” he asked at last.

“Sure.” Junmyeon slipped out of his seat and flung his cloak and his school bag over his shoulders. “I should probably be heading back soon anyways.”

“Hm.” Jongdae stood up from the table. He waved his wand at the pile of valentines and they vanished in a faint glow of sparks. Junmyeon stared at Jongdae in shock, along with what seemed was half of the pub.

“Jongdae!” Junmyeon squawked in outrage.

“What?” Jongdae stowed his wand back in his vest and raised an eyebrow at Junmyeon.

“You—you can’t just—you can’t just discard those valentines like that!” Junmyeon gave Jongdae a scandalized look.

“I didn’t, I just stored them.” Jongdae chuckled and pulled a thick black cloak over his shoulders. “I’m not that heartless.”

“Oh, good,” Junmyeon sighed with relief. “You had me worried.” Worried that he would do the same to the gift that Junmyeon had stored in his bag, that is.

“You’re cute,” Jongdae said affectionately. He laughed when Junmyeon blushed violently, and gestured towards the entrance of the pub. “Let’s go.”

Junmyeon did his best to avoid the dirty looks being thrown at him by various patrons of the pub as he left with Jongdae. When they finally exited the busy building, Junmyeon breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t spend too much time with you today,” Jongdae murmured as they walked through the town square. “Valentine’s Day is always busy.”

“It’s alright.” Junmyeon smile over at Jongdae. “Was work alright? Even though you got all those confessions?”

“Yeah, it was fine,” Jongdae chuckled. “Some of the customers were more…earnest than others. But I fended them off.”

Junmyeon frowned and didn’t say anything.

Jongdae sighed. “I’ve made you worried again, haven’t I?”

“Well, yes, but…it’s not something you need to feel bad about,” Junmyeon said quickly. “It’s in my nature to worry about you.”

Jongdae laughed at that and threw an arm over Junmyeon’s shoulders. “That’s true,” he murmured. “You do seem to do that an awful lot.”

Junmyeon laughed nervously and didn’t say anything else. They walked up to the Hogwarts gates in companionable silence.

“I guess you should go in,” Jongdae sighed. “It’s getting late.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon made no move to duck away from Jongdae’s arm. “I should get going.”

They stood silently for a few moments, and then Junmyeon reluctantly drew away. He could do this—he wasn’t going to let all of his hard work go to waste. “Oh yeah, before I go—this is for you.” Junmyeon reached into his schoolbag and hastily shoved a leather sleeve into Jongdae’s hands. “I’ll see you next month!” Junmyeon turned on his heel and took off onto the school grounds, unable to face Jongdae’s reaction.

“Junmyeon, wait!” Jongdae called out after him, surprised that Junmyeon had run off so quickly. When he realized that Junmyeon was dead set on getting back into the castle, Jongdae sighed and turned his attention to the parcel in his hands. He lifted the flap of the leather sleeve, and suddenly the leather was gone, and in its place was a bouquet of hot pink roses.

“Junmyeon…” Jongdae murmured, his eyes wide with surprise. The look softened into something inscrutable, and Jongdae cast one last look at the castle before turning on his heel and apparating away.



March

Junmyeon felt unease shifting in his stomach as the monthly Hogsmeade trip approached. He’d successfully given Jongdae the flowers, but he hadn’t stuck around for Jongdae’s reaction, and Jongdae had never brought the subject up in any of their letters. What did Jongdae think? Did he think Junmyeon was just being friendly and a bit skittish? Or did he suspect the truth?

Junmyeon still had the small vial of love potion. He hated himself for keeping the illegal substance around, but he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. Besides, given the way that things had gone, he had a feeling that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo would be very angry with him he discarded it before he confronted Jongdae. It had also turned into some sort of odd lucky charm—whenever Junmyeon was feeling down, he would reach into the pockets of his robes and hold the vial of potion to try and calm his thoughts.

Unlike Junmyeon, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had been brave enough to face their feelings, and had been happily together since Valentine’s Day. They were subtle, though, and Junmyeon never felt excluded when he hung out with him, and Junmyeon was gaining more and more hope that their friendship wouldn’t change too much given the new developments.

“Jun!”

Junmyeon twisted around in his seat at the call of his name. “Yes?”

Baekhyun jogged to catch up with him. “Are you sure you want to take your winter cloak with you to Hogsmeade? The weather’s starting to warm up.”

“There’s a chance of snow, so I figured I should take it with me,” Junmyeon said quietly.

“Hm.” Baekhyun started humming under his breath as they exited the Great Hall. “You excited to see Jongdae today?”

Junmyeon frowned. “Excited isn’t quite the word I would use,” he admitted after a moment. “I just…”

Before Junmyeon could even finish his sentence, Baekhyun had already given him an understanding look and reached over to squeeze his hand. They walked the rest of the way to Hogsmeade in companionable silence, Junmyeon unwilling to talk, and Baekhyun silently comforting him.

When they turned the corner to the main entrance to Hogsmeade, Junmyeon was surprised to see a familiar figure waiting for him.

“Looks like he’s waiting for you.” Baekhyun squeezed his hand, and then let go. “I’ll see you back at school!” Baekhyun took off down the street and nodded at Jongdae when he passed.

Junmyeon approached Jongdae with growing dread. Why was Jongdae meeting him so early? Jongdae never went out of his way to come find him.

Junmyeon smiled and waved as he got closer. “Jongdae!”

“Hey.” Jongdae gave him a bright smile, and Junmyeon felt some of his apprehension fade away. Whatever Jongdae was feeling, at least it didn’t seem to be anger.

“My boss gave me the day off today,” Jongdae continued, “so I figured I could surprise you!”

“Well, you really surprised me!” Junmyeon laughed, adjusting the strap on his bag awkwardly. “Um…” If Jongdae had the whole day off, then did he have a plan? Because Junmyeon had really been counting on getting a few hours of studying done at the Three Broomsticks.

“Well, shall we get going?” Jongdae gestured towards the street, and they began walking. “You need to spend a lot of time studying these days, right? Exams are coming up in June?”

“That’s right.” Junmyeon clutched his bag a little tighter, and shivered when a gust of cold air ripped through the city. “Things are starting to come to a close alarmingly fast.”

“I remember that time,” Jongdae said thoughtfully. “Everything seemed so out of control. But once your exams are over, things will start to clear up.”

Junmyeon hummed in response.

Jongdae cleared his throat. “I thought that we could head to my apartment for the day. I have some things I need to do at home, and you could get some studying done.”

“Alright.” Junmyeon blushed when he remembered the last time he’d been at Jongdae’s apartment. “What do you need to do at home?”

“Well, I usually do most of my cooking for the week in one day, and then I store everything.” Jongdae scratched at the back of his neck absent-mindedly. “And then I should probably attempt to organize the living room again. I’m a little concerned that there are brownies starting to nest under the sofa.”

“Ah.”

They lapsed into silence as Jongdae lead Junmyeon through a maze of streets and houses. Junmyeon felt a little comforted when he recognized a few landmarks on the way.

When they entered Jongdae’s apartment, Junmyeon was surprised to see a bouquet of hot pink roses sitting on Jongdae’s kitchen counter. It would seem that Jongdae had preserved the flowers, because none of them showed any signs of wilting or decay.

Junmyeon turned to look at Jongdae, and squeaked in surprise when he realized that Jongdae had been watching him closely. “W-what?”

“Nothing.” Jongdae shook his head and gestured towards a small table in the corner of his kitchen. “You can set up your studying things there, if you want.”

“Thank you.” Junmyeon nervously made his way over to the small table and began setting his things down. The sight of the roses had suddenly reminded Junmyeon of all of his anxieties, and a crowd of butterflies burst into a lively tap dance in his stomach. Jongdae started humming and rummaging through his kitchen as Junmyeon settled in.

Junmyeon hesitated for a moment. Should he try and make conversation? Or should he just immerse himself in his studies?

Jongdae looked over his shoulder and smiled at him, and Junmyeon smiled back. He hastily unrolled one of his essays with shaking hands and dove into his work, his cheeks on fire and his nerves on edge with how incredibly happy he was to be with Jongdae.

A few hours later, something nudged Junmyeon’s shoulder. Junmyeon, intently focused on the charms paper in front of him, grunted.

“Junmyeon.” A gentle hand fell on his shoulder, and Junmyeon nearly fell out of his chair in surprise. Jongdae laughed at him and steadied him with his other hand. “Junmyeon, you’ve been working for hours. Stop, drink some tea, and I’ll walk you back to school.”

“Oh.” Junmyeon blinked and slowly regained his balance in his chair. “Thanks.” He hastily scribbled the end of his sentence and started packing away his things. Jongdae pulled up a chair to the small table and poured a steaming pot of tea into two mugs.

Junmyeon settled his bag under his chair and took a cup of warm tea.

Jongdae smiled at him over his mug. “I was worried that I would be too loud while I was cooking, but you get very intense with your studies,” he chuckled.

“Yeah,” Junmyeon giggled. “I’ve been told.” But even though he’d been immersed in studies, he’d still been aware of Jongdae’s presence. It had been nice, sitting in and studying while Jongdae puttered around his kitchen. Junmyeon didn’t bother trying to squish the cozy feeling in his chest, and instead relished in the warmth it brought.

Jongdae sighed suddenly, and a serious look settled onto his face. “Junmyeon.” He set his mug down and began tapping an anxious rhythm against the tabletop. “You’re…shy. And normally, I think it’s cute. But…” Jongdae chewed his lip, and Junmyeon was hit with a dizzying wave of anxiety. Here it was—the confrontation he’d been trying to prepare himself for. He instinctively reached into his pocket with one hand and grasped the little vial of love potion.

“You gave me those roses on Valentine’s Day.” Jongdae sighed again and reached out for Junmyeon’s hand across the table. Junmyeon startled, but didn’t make a move to take his hand away. “Junmyeon, you…you meant those flowers as a confession, didn’t you?”

Junmyeon hardly dared to breathe as he nodded his head, afraid that anything he would say or do would tip fate against him.

Jongdae nodded slowly and ducked his head, his eyes intent on their linked hands. “I…I’m going to be frank. Junmyeon, I like you a lot. Ever since you started going to the Three Broomsticks and we started spending time together, I’ve been drawn to you, and my feelings have only gotten stronger over the time we’ve spent together.” Jongdae looked up from the table at Junmyeon’s eyes, and Junmyeon forced himself to maintain eye contact with Jongdae. “I think you’re a wonderful person,” Jongdae continued quietly. “But…”

The silence stretched a moment to long for Junmyeon. “But what?” Junmyeon blurted out.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Jongdae whispered at last, his voice faint and tight with tension. “I mean, I’m just—you’re very smart. You want to go into academia, into wandlore. I want to open a pub in London.” Jongdae laughed bitterly even as he squeezed Junmyeon’s hand tightly. “Don’t you think you’re a little…ambitious, for me?”

“What?” Junmyeon stared at Jongdae. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re one of the most ambitious people I know! And you have everything figured out, and I—I’m just me,” Junmyeon mumbled. “I thought that you wouldn’t want me because…well, I’m so quiet. And nerdy. And boring. And…”

“Stop.” Jongdae let go of Junmyeon’s hand in favor of reaching out to tilt Junmyeon’s chin up so that they were maintaining eye contact. “Junmyeon, I like you for all those things you just listed, and everything else that you are besides.”

Junmyeon blinked and blushed fiercely. This was more than he could have hoped for, in all of the situations he’d dreamed up in his head. He slowly withdrew his hand from his pocket, his fingers leaving the cool glass vial and coming up for air. “I like you for everything you are too,” Junmyeon said quietly, but clearly, his eyes never leaving Jongdae’s face.

Jongdae’s face broke out into a blinding smile, and he burst into laughter. “This is going a lot better than I thought it would,” he said at last. “I was so sure that you were going to tell me that I’d misunderstood you.”

Junmyeon shook his head vigorously. “I’ve liked you for ages. It just…took me a while to try and tell you.”

Jongdae snorted, but gave him an affectionate smile. “So I guess…we’re dating now, then?” Jongdae checked himself. “Only if you want to, that is. I get it if you don’t want to because you’re leaving school, and…”

“I’d like that,” Junmyeon interrupted him gently. “If you’re worried about distance, well…I mean, we’ve been doing alright so far, haven’t we?”

Jongdae looked at him with surprise, and then he relaxed, a gentle smile slowly curling at the corners of his lips. “I guess we have.”

Things were a little awkward after that. They finished their tea, and Jongdae walked Junmyeon back to the gates. They held hands on the way, and Jongdae seemed like he might try and kiss Junmyeon goodbye, but he pulled him into a hug at the last second.

Junmyeon didn’t bother feeling disappointed as he headed back into Hogwarts. He knew that there would be plenty more time for Jongdae to try kissing him again.


June (Epilogue)

“It’s so strange, to think that we won’t be coming back to Hogwarts anymore.” Junmyeon rubbed his thumb thoughtfully over the Hogwarts insignia stamped proudly on his luggage.

Baekhyun was lying down with his head in Kyungsoo’s lap in the seat across from him in their tiny compartment. “It’ll be strange,” Baekhyun agreed. “But it’ll also be a bit of a relief. It was hard, trying to set up connections for the band when we were stuck with rather limited connections at school.”

Junmyeon hummed in acknowledgement and curled up next to the window. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo had joined a wizarding band along with Chanyeol, a Gryffindor in their year, and Yixing, a Hufflepuff a few months older than the three of them. The name of their band was “The Four Houses” (Junmyeon had snorted when Baekhyun had told him, but hadn’t been able to come up with a better name for them) and their plans were to start working their way into the magical music industry in London, starting in the fall.

Junmyeon had his own plans. He’d applied for an internship at Ollivanders back in February, and the wand shop had finally gotten back to him. Ollivander himself had passed on a majority of the shopwork to several of his protégées, and Junmyeon had secured himself a spot at the shop. There, he would be able to learn from the best, and he was also going to get paid for his work, and he would have a tiny flat above the shop. Not a bad start, for someone fresh out of Hogwarts.

Jongdae had managed to save up enough money to start his pub in Diagon Alley, and so Jongdae was moving to London as well. Jongdae had offered to share his flat with Junmyeon and split the rent, but Junmyeon had decided that he wasn’t quite ready for that big of a step yet. Instead, Jongdae would now be sharing his flat with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, where hopefully between the three of them, they would be able to keep up with the rent. Jongdae had headed back to his parent’s house a week ago, but he and Junmyeon would be helping each other move into London together in August.

Junmyeon didn’t know if the crippling anxiety that he suffered from would ever fully leave him. He was going into a life of academia, where there would be deadlines to meet, tests to take, and studies to fulfill. But he felt secure, and happy with his choices as his boyfriend and his two best friends would be close by to help him through his struggles.

Junmyeon didn’t use the vial of love potion as a good luck charm anymore. Once he and Jongdae had gotten together, he’d decisively dumped the potion down the sink and crushed the glass and set it on fire to get rid of any remaining potion. (Jongdae had come to visit him on school grounds once. They’d gone for a walk by the lake, and the giant squid had surfaced and poked inquisitively at Jongdae with some of its tentacles. Junmyeon had hastily dragged Jongdae towards the perimeter of the grounds. He couldn’t be sure that the potion had affected the squid—but just in case.)

Junmyeon turned his attention back to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun was playing with Kyungsoo’s fingers while Kyungsoo was doing his best to look grumpy, and Junmyeon smiled quietly at them as he curled up tighter in his seat. It had taken tough times to get to the place he was today—but Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel that all of the anxiety, the hard work, and the emotional trauma he’d been through was worth it, if he could be on the edge of a new chapter of his life, surrounded by the people that he loved the most.


The End