#94: You Got a Perfect Body (So Put It On Me)

[exolliarmus]

►author: anonymous
►prompt #: 94
►title: you got a perfect body (so put it on me)
►pairings: kris/lay
►rating: NC-17
►word count: 15,200+
►warnings: mentions of sexual acts
►summary: Yixing could not be sexually attracted, or attracted in any way at all to Yifan because he is straight.
►author's notes: I just wanna warn you about the rubbish you will about to read. Extensive author note at the end of the story. This fic is dedicated to all fanxing shippers. I love each and every one of you from the bottom of my perverted heart <3





He was running.

Running and running that he felt like the corridors would not last. He had the urge to take out his wand to use a spell so he could just teleport into his room, to be there before he burst. But it would look ridiculous to use magic for that reason and he had told himself a million times that he would try to be as normal as possible, to not abuse his knowledge about wizardry in simple tasks. His muggle blood was still dominant in his bloodstream. He never was ashamed of it. He was proud, even if he was picked on most of the time by purebloods, simply because he was a normal kid who went back to the normal world.

Reaching the foot of the changing staircase that connects to the houses, he increased his speed and ignored the judging stares of the live portraits on the wall. The seemingly endless corridors finally came to an end now that he was in the confines of their common room. There was not a single person in there as the Quidditch tournament between their house and Slytherin just ended. It was a big deal for Ravenclaw. They had not beaten Slytherin for ages, hence most of them were still in the playing field, relishing their victory together with their heroes, the Ravenclaw Quidditch team.

But here he was, panting and sweating within his own chamber. Well, not exactly his own. He shares it with a friend, of the same year, which makes privacy an issue. He locked the door, contemplating on putting a spell on it so no one would barge in while he was still doing his thing, but voted against it. He was confident that his peers would stay another hour or two on the pitch. He simply locked the door and dashed to his bed; not bothering to remove his robe. All that mattered now was the tightening of his pants and how he desperately needed to free the animal inside of him.

It was rather quick (he was surprised at himself, too, at the speed of his actions).

All of a sudden, his trousers were around his knees and his cock was already erected up in the air. It felt so, so good to finally free it. He was resting his back on the headboard as he started to stroke himself, at a slow rhythm at first, testing how long he would last. Whimpering when he touched the base and felt the wet tip where his pre-cum was freely flowing, he was certain he would not last very long.

Images of a certain tall, young man in a blue robe accentuated by gray linings on the collar invaded his mind when he closed his eyes. His stubborn mind replayed the scenario, only a few hours old, within his head. He had seen the said young man riding his broomstick, chasing a Slytherin player. He had dark brown hair, shaved on the sides. His eyebrows were thick, almost about to meet as he concentrated on protecting his teammate from the opponent's Beaters. He was holding a wooden bat, a weapon bestowed on a player in his position to use in the game. Despite his lean body, he was known as one of the strongest in the team. He could not believe himself; knowing that this young man made him do him do such sinful things in secrecy.

His strokes now went faster, trying to get over it soon.

Somehow, he felt guilty for doing this, for having unwanted sexual fantasies towards a boy when he was sure he was straight as a ruler since birth. His moans filled the room as he neared his release. His palms gave him unmatched pleasure. His eyes were still closed, mind still seeing the young man sweating, face dirty from a very rugged game. He had suddenly flashed a smile at him when their eyes met after the game- the smile he was certain was exclusive. It was the kind of smile the other would give to a person he knows so well, gummy and child-like.

That was it for him. He violently came on his hand, the young man's name on his lips, thick come dripping down his cock and some on his stomach. For the years since he had learned how to touch himself, it was one of the most powerful orgasm he had.

He laid on his bed for a few more minutes, pondering what had just happened. He was a mess. His black hair sticking on his forehead because of sweat, right hand and stomach sticky from his cum. He was still out of breath. He kept mentally screaming this was wrong but his body was betraying him for liking it so much. He would not have come all over himself and screamed the young man's name had he not liked it. He knew he was fucked, though, but of course, he would not admit it.

Once he returned to his senses, the guilt of his homosexual desires fleeting, he cleaned himself up. He made sure that no traces of the event beforehand would be noticeable to anyone. He could not afford that to happen. He could not let his roommate know that he was thinking about him as he was jerking off.

Nope, Yixing was still a straight young boy who is crazy for boobs and petite girls who danced gracefully. Yixing still thought that girls who smiled widely were the cutest type of girls. He was straight. He was fucking straight. And no, his cock would not yield to a certain young man who played Quidditch so well and looked equally and painfully handsome while playing. Nope, he was straight.

Yixing was not attracted to his roommate, the one whom he shared a room with since they were both accepted to Hogwarts at the age of 11, the one he told all his lewd fantasies to about Zhang Ziyi, their hot potions professor when they were 14, or the one who he encouraged to try out for the Quidditch team last year when they were 17. Now that they were 18 and about to graduate, he couldn't just have weird thoughts about him simply because he looked good in Quidditch uniform, right?

He could not be sexually attracted, or attracted in any way at all to Yifan.

So, Yixing slapped his face with his both hands as if it would make the uncanny feelings vanish. He looked at himself in the mirror, telling himself it would be the 6th and last time he would do it. There would be no next time. He nodded, finished with his self-induced pep talk, convinced that he learned his lesson. He glanced back to Yifan's neat bed opposite his before he made his way to the door, hand already on the knob. He sighed. He was fucking straight!


★ ★ ★


Classes would not start until eight in the morning but Yixing was already up and lounging in the Ravenclaw common room at six. He was reading a book about Charms, sprawled on the long couch while he waited for half past seven before he could put on his robe. He liked studying at this hour when they had a major exam for the day. For him, it worked when he brushed up on everything before the day started, rather than staying up late at night because he had the tendency to forget all he had studied by the time he awoke.

"Hey. It's too early for you to be up." A low voice startled Yixing. He looked up and saw Yifan coming down the stairs wearing a thin shirt and sweat pants. In his hand there was the blue jacket that was only issued to the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team.

"I could say the same to you." Yixing said, putting his book down. His roommate did not like waking early in the morning. If anything, he was hanging on a thread with his tardiness record.

Yifan slipped in the jacket he was holding. "I'm running with the team. Mandatory."

Oh yeah. Yifan was now part of the team which had this routine of running in the morning thrice a week. He was still not used to this fact. He had been roommates with Yifan since their first year in Hogwarts so he knew his sleeping habits and patterns by heart.

Yixing lifted his book again, acting like he did not notice the flesh on Yifan's stomach when he raised his arms to wear his jacket. "Okay. Go and sweat your way."

In return, Yifan smiled. "Study hard, nerdy."

He was not a nerd, was he? It was the first time it bothered him how Yifan saw him. He was looking at himself in the mirror longer than usual inside the lavatory. It was their lunch break. He was supposed to be dining with Jongdae and Minseok while they updated each other about the progress in the recruitment of members for their Mystical Creature Society. They needed new members as the three of them would be graduating by the end of the year.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you looking at yourself in the mirror like you'll grow a twin if you continue?" Minseok asked, catching Yixing staring at himself. "And please wear your glasses. I am scared you will trip off the stairs."

Yixing picked up his round glasses on top of the sink and reluctantly placed them upon the bridge of his nose. The more he looked at himself without them and the more he thought of the ways to get rid of them so he would not seen as someone dull, the more he worried that Yifan would not dare to spare him second glance because he was not that attractive.



★ ★ ★


Unmistakably, Yifan was a shameless individual. Yixing should've really told him that it was not always okay to just remove all of his clothes in front of him and walk inside their room stark naked without minding that someone was actually there. Yixing felt the need to address this problem to his roommate for it was not making his situation better at all.

"I always change in front of you. You didn't mind it before." Yifan uttered when Yixing sat him down one evening to talk about his changing habits, including his choice of sleeping wear which sometimes comprised of nothing.

The problem was, he did mind it now. His dick couldn't stay calm when he saw Yifan's bare flat ass parading in the evening when they were about to sleep. He could not afford to jack off again as he tried his best to tone it down to just twice a week in the shower. He promised he would not masturbate in their room anymore.

"Please be decent enough to care that you have a roommate. I just want you to be considerate." Yixing said formally, not looking at Yifan's eyes.

"We've been roommates for seven years now, Xing. You know I sometimes sleep naked and how untidy I get."

Yifan was packing up for the upcoming winter vacation. He would be leaving in three days. He invited Yixing to celebrate the holidays with him (which they'd do ever since Yixing's parents passed away). He had been an orphan for four years now. Although he still had his grandparents in China, he preferred not to cross continents during short breaks.

Feeling he was going to be defeated in the argument, Yixing tried to reason. "Don't you think it is time to change? I am not gonna be your roommate forever." He watched as Yifan stopped folding his trousers, looking at him like he said something preposterous.

Yifan put down his clothes and then walked to Yixing's bed where the man was leisurely picking at the hair of his stuffed horse doll. The taller sat down on the side of the bed. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Yixing answered instantaneously. He hoped Yifan would not sense his nervousness, would not notice how his voice slightly trembled.

"You are acting weird. Are you sick?" Yifan put his hand on Yixing's forehead to check his temperature.

Yixing felt his cheeks burn because of the contact. He did not respond to Yifan's question. Instead, he shoved him away so that he could finish packing. He really had to do something about the fast beating of his heart whenever Yifan touched him. It didn't happen before, so he was quite sure whatever he was feeling was not normal.


★ ★ ★


Christmas in the Wu residence was always so simple yet joyous. Every year, since Yixing started coming over for the holidays three years ago, Mrs. Wu had always prepared delicious food for the occasion. Her cooking was the best in the whole world. Yixing could not blame Yifan if he was a little fatty when he was a kid (his mother still fondly called him "Rou Rou" even in front of Yixing. Yifan was embarrassed about it in the beginning but he eventually became used to it as his mother had no plans of getting rid of Yixing).

Yixing initially did not want to attend this year. He had planned to stay in Hogwarts for the whole vacation, studying and researching if there was a way to find out what was happening to him. Surely, the vast collection of books in their school library could tell him. However, after a week of finding nothing, Yifan showed up. He forcefully took out his luggage and put random clothes in there before he dragged him into his flying car. Now he had two weeks with Yifan and was still nursing confusion.

The dinner was pleasant. Yixing truly liked Mrs. Wu's roast turkey and sausage wrapped in bacon. He almost could not breathe after because he was far too full. They exchanged gifts the following morning. Good thing, he and Yifan had gone out to town the other day for some utility stuff needed in the house so he had time to buy Christmas gifts.

"Thank you, Yixing. These are lovely." Mrs. Wu said, eyes sparkling, when she opened Yixing's gift. It was a set of baking tools. Yixing saw her reading a baking book one night in her office and then he noticed that there was a newly installed oven in the kitchen. However, there were no utensils yet. Yifan had mentioned before that his mother wanted to try baking for a change and how ridiculous it was that she bought an expensive oven for a "hobby". Yixing waved him off because he thought it would be marvelous to learn how to bake.

"You are welcome, Auntie." Yixing smiled, delighted that the woman liked his present.

Every year, since Yixing started spending the holidays with them, they always exchange gifts with each other. Although Yifan and Yixing don't usually put much thought into the presents they give each other, Yixing had spent time considering what to get Mrs. Wu. This year he thought it would be okay if he did not give anything to Yifan. He had given him a new pair of socks for his birthday last November anyway.

They retreated to their rooms after dinner. Yixing volunteered to clean the dishes so that Mrs. Wu could get some rest. She'd been in the kitchen preparing for their feast since early afternoon. It would give her proper ample sleep before she resumed to working tomorrow.

Yifan stayed behind to help Yixing. He did not have to since they owned a dishwasher but he insisted to assist until the kitchen was sparkling clean. The two of them had a bottle of beer while they lounged in the living room before they left to their shared room (alcohol was not allowed in the house but Yifan had so many ways of breaking his mother's rules without getting caught).

"Sorry, I was not really prepared." Yixing apologized after Yifan gave him his present. They were both seated on the carpeted floor. Yixing opened it and found it was the latest edition of the Astronomy series he was following religiously. It was hard bound! Yixing tried so hard to reserve a copy for himself and Minseok but it was always out of stock. He gasped as it was the limited edition cover. It must have cost Yifan a fortune, and to have it reserved meant he probably pre-ordered like six months ago. "You really do not have to. This must be expensive."

Yifan just shrugged. There was a smug smile on his lips. "I have connections." He stated proudly.

"But..." Yixing inspected the book. It was indeed a legit one. The author's gold symbol was embedded on the spine. He opened it and saw the unique scribble of the title on the first page that sparkled whenever the book was opened. The photos of the skies in every page came to life when he brushed a finger over them. "I don't even have a Christmas gift for you."

The socks he gave to Yifan on his birthday could not even compare to the book. Moreover, Yixing felt guilty because he had been acting like a piece of shit towards Yifan for the past few weeks because of his weird feelings for him. He was not treating him fairly and yet for his birthday in October, Yifan gave him two tickets to the Ultimate Dragon Show. He did not even ask if Yifan wanted to come with him because he immediately told Jongdae about it and took him with him. When they returned that day, Yifan was glad to know that he enjoyed the show with his friend. Even so, it did not change the fact that he felt shitty for taking Jongdae instead of Yifan.

"It's fine. I do not mind at all. Do you like my gift, though?" Yifan said nonchalantly.

Yixing nodded. If he was seeing his face, he would see the twinkle on his eyes as he looked at Yifan. "I will make it up to you."

"I said you do not have to!" Yifan's pout made Yixing squirm inside. It was the type that Yifan used towards his mother to soften her up while she was scolding him. It was also the type of pout that got Yixing's body weak all over.

Yixing closed the book and looked up at Yifan shyly. "Thank you. I liked it so much."

"Good then." Yifan chugged the remaining content in his beer can and smiled back.

That night, when it was already hours after midnight and Yixing could not sleep yet as he was thinking of the best present he would get for Yifan, he heard him move from his bed. Yixing was sleeping on bundle of duvets on the floor while Yifan occupied the bed. It had always been like that. However, on some instances, even in the Hogwarts dormitory, like tonight, Yifan slipped in Yixing's bed and spooned him.

Yixing was not surprised anymore when the taller put his arm over his waist and pulled him closer. Yixing could feel the warmth of his chest, his breath on his neck, could hear the soft noises he made when he was in deep slumber. Yixing was used to this because Yifan would do this every now and then. It was their thing and Yixing did not find this weird anymore. The first time Yifan did this was when he was 13 and he had found out that his father left home. He was crying nonstop so Yixing had to look for a way to comfort him.

"Cry on my back." Yixing had told Yifan. Yifan had cried on his back until he fell asleep spooning him. After that, Yifan did not have to ask for permission to sleep next to Yixing when he wanted to.

But times have changed. People's feeling could change. Just like now. Just like Yixing's feelings. The touch of Yifan's hand on his waist and the warmth of his body was creating a mess inside Yixing's chest. His body did not mind their tangled legs before. His body did not care if he would wake up facing Yifan, their mouths inches away from each other. It was not a thing when Yifan would murmur in his ears during sleep that he was really soft and comfortable. Now, there was a turmoil that Yixing was fighting. He should not feel like this.

Needless to say, Yixing did not catch a decent sleep that night. Yifan did not let go of him until the break of dawn. The moment Yifan shifted and turned to the other side of the bed, Yixing got up and stayed in the living room. Mrs. Wu was surprised to see Yixing awake very early when she appeared from upstairs to prepare breakfast.

"Why up so early, Yixing?" The woman asked.

"I could not sleep." Yixing stood up from the couch to offer help in preparing their meal.

"I am sorry about sleeping on the floor. I really have to get another bed for you." She shook her head. Mrs. Wu was really caring. She reminded Yixing of his mother.

"It is okay, Auntie. I just could not sleep last night. The duvet is more than comfortable."

It's just your son that is making me lose my sleep.

They went about preparing breakfast out of the leftover food from the dinner last night. Yixing became preoccupied for a few hours before he had to fetch Yifan so they all could eat together. The other was still very much asleep on his bed, long limbs sprawled and blanket crumpled on his waist. His mouth was open and his dark brown hair was a mess on the pillow. It was adorable and it made Yixing's heart hurt. Normally, it should not.

"Yifan, wake up. Time for breakfast." Yixing nudged Yifan's shoulder. The other only whimpered and then covered his face with a pillow. Yixing opened the curtains so the sunlight would come in the room and hit Yifan's face. Okay, not much sunlight since it was still snowing but at least the light outside could wake him up.

"Xingggggg." He groaned.

"Wake up. Your mom is waiting. She's gonna be late for work."

Yifan pulled the pillow from his face to show Yixing his cutest morning puppy face. "Cuddle me Xing-Xing." He whined.

"How old are you??" Yixing wanted to melt and evaporate. Yifan was really cute; it was not fair.

"Five. Now cuddle with me!" He lifted his arms and reached for Yixing. For a Quidditch Beater, he was completely a baby.

"Get up. No one wants to cuddle with your lame ass." Yixing left the room with Yifan still whining like a little kid. He shut the door and spent a few minutes leaning on the opposite wall to calm the fast beating of his heart. It was not new that Yifan was a demanding little piece of shit and there were times he was acting like a baby especially when he was at home. It was a normal Yifan that he was used to.

Yixing clutched his chest. Take a deep breath. He had to get over these feelings or so help him Merlin he would have to submit himself in Azkaban and let Dementors eat his soul just to escape from Yifan.


★ ★ ★


School resumed and Yixing's agenda was to graduate and forget his inner conflicts. It sounded easy. But it was not if the cause of all his anxieties was his rude roommate who liked taking his clothes off in front of him and cuddle with him. When he did have clothes on, specifically his Quidditch uniform, he still looked hot. Yixing was going nuts about him.

He tried not attending Quidditch games but he was friends with a fan (Jongdae) and another player (Minseok) who were both bugging him to watch. Of course, Yifan wanted him there as well. He could not come up with acceptable reasons not to be there. He was just profoundly doomed from the beginning.

The game against Hufflepuff was an easy win for Ravenclaw. It was not that the opposing team was weak. It was just that their seeker and one chaser could not make it because of a failing grade. The remaining senior players were okay but the second stringers who would step up for the two absent players were all rookies. Yifan just scared them all away.

And after the game, Yixing found himself aroused again. He was running to find a vacant spot to relieve himself. Practically anywhere he could stroke himself while he thought about Yifan's strong sweaty arms. At this point, he didn't care if he was about to break his promise. He really needed his release.

So he ran up the castle. Jongdae had mentioned a place he recently discovered. People said there was a secluded male bathroom that no one went to anymore because it was haunted. It was essentially a known fact that it was guarded by a spirit named Luhan. Luhan died there after committing suicide. Being a curious little bastard that he was, Jongdae went there to prove it. According to him, he saw no spirit or heard mewling Luhan (they also said that the spirit mewls when you enter). It was just a big lavatory that was good if you wanted to have a quickie in the middle of the day without anyone becoming suspicious.

Yixing found it right away once he reached the top of the castle. He immediately opened the door and locked it. Yixing did not waste time and removed all of his clothes. The bathroom had a big tub good for ten people. It was really inviting because the tiles were blue and when filled with water; it looked like a clear lagoon. He jumped in right away and got refreshed with the cold water in contrast with the heat of his body. He rested his back on the cold tile before he started stroking his hardened member. Jongdae was right, the place was good for having sex since you could be as loud as you wanted to.

The cold water did not stop his cock from getting harder. He tilted his head up while his strokes became faster. It was crazy how he liked this, the cold water with the image of Yifan backing him up in the tub as he fuck him senseless. Oh, now, he was thinking about it. It was the first time that he went all the way thinking about Yifan fucking him. The previous time he'd masturbated whilst thinking of him, his thoughts simply consisted of Yifan touching and kissing him. What a terrible development.

Yixing could not help but open his mouth as he neared his orgasm. With his wrist working faster, his mind became wilder, showing him scenarios of Yifan's cock mercilessly abusing his virgin hole. He imagined the taller man murmuring his name in that low voice of his as he continued to fuck into him. Yixing all but gasped when he released all over his hand yet again. He opened his eyes and got a little disappointed when he woke up from his illusions. It was just him and his poor hands again.

To shake his thoughts completely, he sank in the water. This time, the cold got to him, though not the way he wanted it to. When he opened his eyes under water, he saw an illuminated figure looking at him. He thought he was just imagining it so he closed his eyes again. To his terror, the figure was closer to him now when he opened his eyes and realized it was smiling mischievously at him. He quickly resurfaced from the water to breathe and there he was—the ghost was sitting on the edge of the tub cross-legged as he picked on his fingers.

"Got a nice orgasm?" The ghost asked.

Yixing could not believe what he was seeing. The ghost was actually true. There was a haunted creature talking to him. Worst, he might have witnessed how he jerked off.

"It is nice, yeah? Masturbating in secret? I think you are only third person who came here to do that. Most of them have sex and they're all heterosexual couples, which is so mainstream in my opinion." The ghost continued to speak. He looked young. To Yixing's estimate, he was perhaps the same age as him, if not younger.

Yixing moved further away from the figure. Although it was the first time he saw a ghost, he was not scared of him. He did not seem scary at all. He was just ashamed that the ghost could feasibly watch what he had just done.

"Are you real?" Yixing asked.

"Well, what do you think? I am here talking to you, you idiot." The ghost mewled in high pitch. So, that was the famous mewl they were talking about.

"I'm... you saw everything?" Yixing tried to cover himself with his arms.

The ghost mewled again and then dove in the water. When he rose, he was within reach, right in front of Yixing. "You are really an idiot, you know that? Of course, I saw you touching yourself!" If he could hit Yixing's head, he probably would with how annoyed he looked.

Yixing only looked down, cheeks burning with shame.

It did not seem to bother the ghost, or Luhan the famous mewling ghost in the loo, as he went on talking to Yixing like it had been ages since he last talked to someone. "So, are you gay?"

Yixing glanced up at Luhan. Although playful, his face was kind and friendly and asking about sexuality seemed natural to him. "I don't... know."

"You do not know??? But you are jerking off thinking about a guy???"

"How do you know?"

"Duhhh!!!! You were moaning 'Yifan... Ohhh Yifan...' Unless that Yifan is a girl." Luhan said.

"He is a guy..."

"Then you are gay!" Luhan exclaimed happily. He flew in the air back and forth as if celebrating the new information.

"I am not sure."

"Oh this idiot." It was the first time in Yixing's life that he was called an idiot more than once in a day. Perhaps he deserved it.

"Let me tell you a story about a boy. Let us call him Luhan." Luhan flew back beside Yixing, sitting on the edge of the tub as he dangled his illuminated feet in the water. "Forty years ago, there was a shy boy that went by the name 'Luhan'. Luhan was gay. He knew he was since he met this transfer student Xiumin. Luhan fell in love with Xiumin in no time, but Xiumin was not gay so Luhan could only masturbate about him in secret. He bathed in the middle of the night just so he could jerk off thinking about the love of his life. One night, when everything was too much, Luhan died in the bathroom while holding his dick."

Yixing did not understand how this story was going to be helpful with his situation. No one knew how Luhan died. They just know he committed suicide and was found lifeless and naked in the tub. The investigators said he drowned and that was just it.

"I don't get why you're telling me this." Yixing said hesitantly.

"I'm telling you this so you stop masturbating and actually start doing something about your feelings!" Luhan splashed water at him. Ghost could actually splash water?

"What is the connection of this to your death?"

"Did you know that powerful orgasms can actually kill?"

"What?"

"True story."

"What?"

"Twelve orgasms in a day to be exact so do not push yourself."

Luhan floated above the tub but still looked down on Yixing. He was not embarrassed about the way he died as he was telling Yixing the moral lesson that came with it. This Xiumin guy must be dead by now or at least be really old, but when Luhan spoke of his name, there was adoration in his form of expression.

"If you like this Yifan, go to him and tell him. If you don't, then stop jerking off and get a girlfriend."

Something lit up. It was like wisdom was bestowed upon him and he suddenly found a solution to his problem. If Luhan was not a floating ghost, Yixing would hug him.

Get a girlfriend.

Why didn't he consider this before?


★ ★ ★


It was perfect timing that in February, Hogwarts had an event called "Mingle till you Jiggle". Truthfully, that was not really the name of the event (blame Jongdae's puns). The event had no name. It was just simply an annual ball for students to get to know people from other houses. It was made to create camaraderie and develop acquaintances. It was a formal event and traditionally, although not encouraged, students could ask someone to be their date for the night.

Yixing was not that popular in school or even in his house. He was just a typical student who spent half of his day in his classes and the other half in his Mystical Creature Society club room. However, there was one student he was aware that was crushing on him ever since the girl entered Hogwarts.

Seulgi was three years younger than Yixing. She belonged in the Gryffindor house, on top of her class, and was very much attracted with him. She had confessed to him a year ago but Yixing turned her down because he thought she was too young and he was not sure if having a girlfriend was part of his priority. When the February event was announced, Yixing found the younger girl approaching him again outside of the hall where his Herbology class was held.

"Hi, Yixing." Seulgi greeted. She was still shy around Yixing but she grew a little after a year. Yixing noticed that she was taller now and that she learned how to wear a little make-up. He could not deny the fact that she was prettier than most of the girls he saw at school.

"Hey, Seulgi. What's up?" Yixing greeted back. He was not awkward around her. There was nothing to be awkward since she was kind and gentle and nice. She was just a little too much infatuated with Yixing that sometimes he wished she was not.

"Uhmmm." She was biting her lower lip in nervousness. "So, you know the ball?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna ask... will you go with me?"

"Okay."

Seulgi's eyes widen with Yixing's abrupt answer. It took a moment before she spoke again to confirm what she had heard. Yixing told her again that he would go with her. The younger girl jumped and squealed in excitement. When she realized her embarrassing actions, she stopped and apologized.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Yes?" Seulgi was obviously shaking. Her voice was quivering.

"Okay. See you."

Yixing said he had a class in a few minutes. He did not have to stay and see how she would flail.

Yixing didn't think it would be easy. Seulgi was not his girlfriend yet, but she wasn't that bad to not be one. She had all the qualities he (thought) would like in a girl; an angelic face, a nice body, someone who was smart, and also kind. She was the one who approached him and Yixing had no right to refuse when he was the one who was in need. He was planning on keeping Seulgi as a remedy to his problems, and he would start by actually going out with her even before the ball. It would keep him busy if he had a girlfriend to tend to.


★ ★ ★


Dating Seulgi was quite easy and Yixing was thankful that the she was friendly in nature. After she asked him to go to the ball with her, they met again a day after (it was Yixing's turn to seek for her to her delight). Yixing invited her to sit with him that night for dinner.

Minseok and Jongdae were utterly shocked when Seulgi came carrying her tray of food with a blush on her face. Yifan used to sit with the three of them but since he became a part of the Quidditch team, he dined with them now. Yixing had one less person to worry about. Yixing pushed the two of them away to make room for her. It was not common for different houses to sit with each other during meal time but it was not against the rules. Although there were not a lot, couples that belonged to different houses did it often.

After that night, Yixing walked her to the Gryffindor chambers like the gentleman that he was. Seulgi was red the whole time which Yixing thought was really cute. They talked about random things all the way there, such as her love for plants and her plans of joining a dance class in the summer. She was still child-like; her mannerisms gave her away—she puffed her cheeks when she was thinking or considering something and she squealed effortlessly—and Yixing thought she was adorable.

Since then, Seulgi became a permanent on Yixing's group dining table. Minseok and Jongdae started opening up with her until they were used to her presence. They treated her as a little sister all time rather than Yixing's soon-to-be girlfriend. His two friends told him that they liked her. They had always thought that she was a pleasant girl but they did not expect that they would actually get along with her. She was sweet and caring. Though, Yixing was pretty sure Seulgi won his friends' hearts through her delicious pumpkin smoothie that she makes for them every afternoon.

They began having a study session every night before they went back to their chambers. There were times where Seulgi would go to Yixing's club meetings. Every Saturday, they would go out in the woods to feed Yixing's friend unicorns. They liked her the same way they liked Yifan when Yixing had taken him there a few times. Seulgi fit easily in his life even in a short time.

The two of them started to be an item in school. It was just a matter of time before Yixing could finally ask her to be his girlfriend. Yixing did it while they were idling in the empty club room, waiting for the other members to come. The ball would be in a week so Yixing assumed it would be better for them to attend it as an official couple. Yixing asked the simple question. No qualms or hesitations. He did not prepare any romantic speech but it was obvious that it was the best moment of Seulgi's teenage life.

Yixing was aware he was her first boyfriend. Seulgi was honest to him about it. So when Yixing leaned in to give her a kiss, he was not expecting anything more than a peck. She closed her eyes and waited for Yixing's lips to land on hers. It was Yixing's first kiss too but she did not have to know that. Yixing had to appear experienced because he was older, because he was a prince charming in Seulgi's eyes. He waited for a few seconds before he pulled away, just enough to melt her and keep her attached.

Right on cue, Minseok and Jongdae came in (honestly, the club only consisted of the three of them). Seulgi was as red as a tomato the whole hour which made Minseok and Jongdae wonder what happened between them while they were still out. They did not ask, though. They did not have to guess when Seulgi kept on touching her lips while glancing at Yixing every now and then. It was awful to watch.

It was effective. Having a girlfriend really helped Yixing take his mind off from his feelings for Yifan. Perhaps because he did not get to hang out with him anymore since most of his time was dedicated to please his young girlfriend. Perhaps because whenever he reached their shared room, Yifan was already resting, tired from school and jock life. For almost two months, he did not touch himself or dream about Yifan doing the nasty with him. He hadn't seen him naked in their room either. He hadn't watched a Quidditch game because Seulgi was more into talking with plants than watching a bloody game. The only time they've talked was when Yixing was collecting Yifan's clothes for laundry or during Charms class which they took together. During weekends, Yifan had more Quidditch training (because they signed him up to join the Hogwarts Varsity Team) and Yixing had... well, he tried to spend time away from Yifan without being too obvious. Usually, he would ask Minseok to do something with him. Or when he had no choice, he would go with Jongdae to meet his troll friends.

On the Saturday before the ball, Yixing was surprised to see Yifan in their room in the middle of the day. He was not dressed for training. Instead, he was in his pajamas as he lay on his bed. Yixing just returned from feeding his horses with Seulgi.

"You're here." It sounded more like a question than what Yixing had intended.

"Yeah. Training got cancelled. Weather was kinda harsh."

It was true. He and Seulgi had to return early because it started snowing in the mountains. The weather was better the past few days, though.

"Alright then." Yixing removed his clothes then jumped on his bed. He was trying to think about the schedule of his friends today. He could not knock on Seulgi's chambers and ask her to go out with him again (and he did not want to do holding hands and kissing again. He had had enough for the day).

"Not going out today?" Yifan suddenly asked.

"Not sure. Maybe Jongdae and Minseok would be up for something."

"They are in their rooms all bundled up. Minseok caught a flu and Jongdae is taking care of him."

"Oh."

What the hell was wrong with his friends getting sick when he needed them the most? Now, he had no choice but to stay in his room with Yifan all day. Maybe for the whole weekend because there were news that the weather could worsen in the next two days.

"You have not picked up your book since I gave it to you." Yifan said. Yixing could not help but hear the hurt in his tone. True, he did not have the time to read it because he forgot about it. It was just resting there on his desk on top of the pile of books he owned.

Yixing felt sorry. In a normal circumstance, he would have read half of it. "I'm really busy."

Yifan chuckled but he clearly was not amused. "I can see that."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. Why would I be?"

"For not reading the book you gave me?"

"Yixing, that is just a book."

He did not know why but it annoyed Yixing that Yifan was throwing a replica snitch up in the air repetitively while they were having a conversation. There was definitely something off with him. Given, that it was just a book and it was a just Yifan's Christmas present to him. Obviously, it was not just a book for Yifan when he had to tell Yixing how it was dusting on his desk. Besides that, there were millions of other things that Yixing felt was wrong between them. He blamed everything on bloody Quidditch.

"Do you have a problem with me?" Yixing asked straightforwardly.

"Me?" Yifan pointed to himself. "No, I don't. I'm cool that you suddenly forget about your roommate because you already have a girlfriend. I know it happens. It is common so it's no big deal."

"I am not..." Yixing tried to find words to reason, to make up a lie that would explain why he was not spending time with Yifan anymore. Even without directly saying it, Yifan had pointed out that he was upset that he was being ignored.

However, before words could escape from Yixing's mouth, Yifan was already at the door. "Nope, save your breath. I don't need to hear. Like I said, it's cool. Who am I to demand something from you, right? I'm just your roommate."


★ ★ ★


Yixing, Minseok, and Jongdae were out to look for something to wear for the ball. Seulgi had informed Yixing beforehand that she would wear a turquoise dress so he asked the store personnel for a cravat with the same color. Jongdae and Minseok were not going with anybody because they planned to consume all the drinks and it would be fun if they could dance with various girls than to just be stuck with one.

"There was a notice on the bulletin board about Yifan crashing in the Gryffindor house for three nights now. Why is that?" Minseok inquired as he was fitting the all-white suit in front of the mirror. Yixing was sitting on the cushion in the middle of the room, waiting for the tie he asked for. On the other hand, Jongdae was inside the cubicle putting on his desired outfit.

Yixing sighed. Since that night, Yifan had not slept in their room. He only came back the following morning to change in his uniform and to get clothes. He did not say where he was staying. Chanyeol was one of his good friends and one that he talked to a lot, which is why when Yixing saw the first warning, it confirmed his suspicions.

"We kind of fought." Yixing answered.

"You two never fight. What is happening?" Jongdae shouted from inside the fitting room.

Yixing could not tell his friends that it was because he was having weird feelings for Yifan for months now and that his ways of getting rid of those certain feelings was by dating Seulgi, resulting in him ignoring Yifan. So instead he answered, "I have not read the book he gave me as a Christmas present."

"Is Yifan really that petty? I do not know him to be like that." Minseok said, pleased that he looked dashing in the white suit he tried on. He instructed the sales man that he would purchase it.

Jongdae came out from the fitting room in his double-breasted black suit. He looked equally handsome. "I heard him and Chanyeol talking in class yesterday. Yifan wants to skip the ball. Chanyeol was convincing him to go, though."

If Yixing could just avada kedavra his feelings for Yifan, he would've done that long time ago. It greatly affected their friendship. It did not help that it disturbed Yifan as well. Yixing knew Yifan was a big party animal so skipping the ball meant he was in a state of immense dejection. It pained him to know that he was the reason for his friend's melancholy.

"Can we not talk about this?" Yixing pleaded. His tie arrived. It reminded him that this was what he wanted. He had a blooming love life and a beautiful girlfriend. He should be happy.

But he was not.

"Read the goddamn book so he'll feel better!" Minseok suggested.

It was not that simple. The book was just the tip of the iceberg. What was underneath was scaring the shit out of Yixing. He didn't try the tie with his gray suit. Instead, he asked the salesman to pack the clothes away so that they could go home.


★ ★ ★


It was late when the three of them got home. They had to sneak in their rooms so that their prefect would not catch them. Though knowing Joonmyun, he already knew that they were missing and there was no Yifan that would cover up for them. It had always been Yifan who saved their asses from getting punished by their strict prefect when the three of them forgot about their curfew.

Yifan was already asleep in his bed when Yixing entered the room. The room was dim, just a faint light from the glow in the dark stickers they put on the wall together. Yixing remembered that Yifan had argued that glow in the dark star stickers should be on the ceiling and not on the wall. But they stuck them on the wall anyway because Yixing was short and he could not reach the ceiling even if he wanted to. It all started with just a portion of the wall on Yifan's side until it grew and covered almost the entire wall like the vast galaxy as it had become a habit of them to buy the pretzel pack which came with the stickers. Another part of Yixing ached when he thought about it. He and Yifan had a lot of history. They used to be so good together, even as friends, so fighting like this was killing him.

He still was not sure what he felt about his roommate. It just painful that they were not talking and that it was all his responsibility because of his stupid boner that he could not calm whenever he saw him. If it was a physical attraction, he was willing to let it go. He would not allow bodily desires to ruin his friendship with Yifan.

After quickly and silently changing into his sleepwear, Yixing settled on his bed. He laid sideways so he was facing Yifan and their galaxy wall. The yellow-green glow from the stickers was reflected on the sleeping form of Yifan. Yixing couldn't see Yifan's face, couldn't tell if he was deeply asleep as his back was facing him. He was not snoring. There was no heavy breathing. He could only make out the red checkered pajama he was wearing and the back of his head. He missed Yifan so much, he wanted to hold him and be held by him. He wanted to talk to him, hear him bicker at him. He wanted Yifan to come back to him.

Yixing realized how late it was and that he had to go to sleep now. He shifted on the other side, closing his eyes to invite sleep to take over his whole body. He was tired all day with classes, with the club meeting, with Seulgi (the thought of her made him sigh), and then the suit shopping. A few minutes was enough for sleep consume him.

Perhaps it was three in the morning--he had no sense of time to know when it was exactly--that Yixing felt like he was trapped. Suddenly, he could not move and there was not enough space in his bed. His face was almost touching the wall if not for his spare pillow in between. And then he felt warmth on his back and on his nape. Someone was breathing on his nape.

It was Yifan. It had been a while since he woke up in the middle of the night to see Yifan on his bed. Yixing craned his neck back to closely look at him. The proximity let him smell his breath, feel the air coming out of his mouth and onto his nose. Yifan was so close and he loved it so much. Yixing could not help but smile knowing that he was beside him, holding him again.

Yixing absentmindedly leaned in closer to Yifan, tightening the taller's arms around him. He could smell his fruity perfume that he only used after showering at night. It was so comfortable, so familiar. Yixing would not trade this for anything else.

"I missed you." Yixing heard Yifan speak. His voice was so gentle. He must've still been sleeping and just mumbling random words. It did not matter if he meant it or not. Yixing would remember this night.

"I am sorry for being an asshole to you. It won't happen again." Yifan continued. He was not asleep at all. Those were not empty words.

Yifan tightened his arms around Yixing if that was even possible. Yixing's back was buried further in Yifan's arms. They were so close. Their bodies melded naturally. Yixing wanted to turn around and face Yifan, but it would be dangerous because right at this moment, he wanted so much to kiss him.

"It is not your fault. Don't apologize. I am the one who is being a jerk to you." Yixing said.

And then he felt Yifan's mouth on the side of his neck. He was not doing anything, just his mouth touching his skin. It sent shivers down his spine (and he hoped just his spine, not his dick too). Yixing did not move for a second, waiting for Yifan's next move. He was beginning to feel tense because they had never been this close, this intimate before. They did cuddling, however, but they always kept their mouths off each other.

It was quick but Yixing felt the intensity of Yifan's gesture. It confused him more when Yifan pecked his skin and inhaled his scent, his nose sliding up and down the column of his neck. "I don't wanna lose you, Xing."

Yixing was burning, his skin was too hot. It was peculiar that he felt that way when it did not even affect his cock. It was just warm all over and his stomach felt sick. It took him more or less an hour before he went back to his sleep while Yifan softly snored behind him. That night, Yifan did not let him go, not even for a second. They woke up tangled with each other as Yifan repeated the way he kissed his neck the previous night. It was not awkward for Yifan at all. He was all smiles that morning, and Yixing was blinded with how much gums he saw.

"See you later, Xing." Yifan waved at him before he went out the door for his early jog with his Quidditch team.

Yixing was left wondering on his bed.

What was that all about?

The light kisses and the tight hugs.

What was Yifan trying to do with me?

He looked under the sheets. He had a morning wood but it was just a normal morning wood. He was not hard for Yifan for the first time in months. It was not clear to him if it was a good thing or not. It was not his dick that was throbbing now. This time, it was his heart.


★ ★ ★


"What the hell, man?" Luhan shrieked as he floated up and away from Yixing.

It was Friday, a day before the ball and it had now been two days since he began hiding from Seulgi. He could not face his girlfriend when his heart was doing weird badumps whenever he thought about Yifan.

Yixing was on the edge of his sanity. In the beginning, he was having troubles about his boners, which related back to Yifan. It had been days since he got one and he would deny that he was more than relieved. Although, he was more terrified with what he felt inside his chest than inside his pants.

He had entered the loo quietly. Luhan was surprised to see him there since he thought Seulgi was giving him a blow job or something. Luhan thought, since Yixing had not returned there in weeks, he was sure of himself now that he was not gay. Luhan was wrong. Yixing got worse.

Yixing did not know who to talk to. Minseok and Jongdae were not particularly experienced in this kind of thing. They were both straight and were not acquainted with gay folks. Yixing knew they would not know a thing about what he was going through. He only knew one person (or creature) that could help him, and it was Luhan.

After that night, Yifan had become gleeful again and was bizarrely all over Yixing. Last night, he slept on his bed again. They were in the same position, same proximity, same warmth, and same intense emotions boiling inside Yixing. Yifan had kissed him again, only on the back of his head. But still, he had kissed him. His hugs were tighter, almost crushing Yixing's bones. In the morning, before Yifan left for his morning ritual, he had kissed Yixing again, on his forehead this time around. Yixing wanted to pull his hair out. He was so bewildered at Yifan's actions.

"Your problem is you did not get a boner when your ass was practically brushing on his crotch for two nights?" Luhan asked. They both sat in the empty and cold tub. Yixing was hugging both of his knees. Luhan was just there, existing in his ghostly glory.

"I did not say it like that." Yixing huffed.

"But that is what you meant."

"Whatever."

Luhan mewled and Yixing did not know how his problem was worth mewling. It was so annoying. His voice was so high-pitched, especially when he got excited. He was flying up the ceiling for a few seconds before he landed graciously, posing as if he wanted to be painted like a French girl.

"You love him." It was not posed as a question. It was a statement that Luhan believed was a fact. The uncanny ghost wiggled his eyebrows at Yixing, teasing him about the latest development he came up with.
Love was a hefty word. It came with different levels and definitions. Yixing took it seriously when it came to it. Love was something he never took lightly on. For him, it was not about assumptions and hypothetical theories. Yixing has not felt love for another person. The only people he loved dearly were his parents and grandparents. Minseok and Jongdae were a different case. As for Yifan, he was not certain about what type of love he felt for him.

"I do not know." Yixing shook his head.

"Do you love Seulgi?"

The answer would be a sharp no. What he had with Seulgi was definitely not love. Was he attracted to her? Positively, yes. However, each day, especially the past few days, it became clear to him that he could not be more than just a friend to her. He could be a brother but not her lover. The times they kissed, Yixing did not feel any adrenaline rush like what people say in romance novels. It was simply two lips meeting and moving against each other. There was no thrill or desire. Kissing Seulgi was more of an obligation than want.

But with Yifan... They have not even kissed on the lips yet but when he kissed him on his head and neck, Yixing felt a strong jolt of electricity that flowed through his veins. It was so powerful it made him defenseless. The way Yifan hugged him gave him a delightful feeling. His hugs were one of a kind. Yifan's smiles brightened his day, the sound of his voice soothed him like warm mint tea in winter, and the touch of his hand was reassuring.

If these things could tell him what kind of love he felt for Yifan, if these were equated to romantic love, Yixing was almost prepared to accept his fate. At this point, he could not fight it anymore. Perhaps, it was time that he submitted to his homosexual tendencies already.

"Am I really gay?" Yixing asked himself, but loud enough for Luhan to hear.

"Why do I feel that you are disgusted with the idea?" Luhan sat up and crossed his arms on his chest. He sounded irritated.

"I am not..." Yixing was not disgusted with the idea. It was just that he thought it was not normal because he had thought he was straight all his life. He was not against same sex relationships at all.

He was raised by a very conservative and paternal family. When he was little, he had believed that he would be married to a beautiful woman. However, as he grew up, his eyes opened by the reality that not all love stories were patterned according to fairy tales. Love was a complex thing. It was not limited to love between a man and a woman. He did not expect that he would experience such kind of love, his first love at that.

So, it was essential that he was going through this confusing phase. He was eighteen and ignorant about sex and relationships. He did not know what gender his body yearned for. It was the first time he became aware about his preference. Since he had no idea of what he wanted and did not want, he was caged on the idea of still finding his "princess". Thus, when fate presented the possibility of liking someone of the same sex, he did not anticipate that he would veritably bite and be inclined to it.

"I like how Yifan makes me feel. I am just scared to admit it to him because I do not know if he likes me that way or if he's just being... Yifan." Yixing went on.

Luhan raised his hand, reaching out to Yixing shoulders, but he retracted them when he realized he was dead and Yixing would not feel him. "I understand what you feel. I am gonna be cliché by saying: been there, done that. But hey, my time was like in the 70s. It is the new millennium. Kids these days are different. They know shit and even if they are not gay, they think being gay is cool so why not give it a shot?"

What Luhan said sounded hopeful. Yixing left the loo feeling lighter. He finally acknowledged his true feelings. Without Luhan, he would not have made it today. But before the grand confession and happily ever after, he still had to deal with one thing, or person, for that matter. He had to explain things to Seulgi.


★ ★ ★


It was the day of the ball. Yixing was not in the mood to get ready for the occasion. One reason being he finally decided that it was time to tell Seulgi that he was breaking up with her because he was gay. The other reason being Yifan was not going to the freaking event with no valid reason. His roommate was offensively sprawled in the room covered in his blanket like he was a human burrito, playing god knows what under it.

"You are not going?" Yixing asked for the seventeenth time that day. It was already half past five in the afternoon. The ball would start at six, and the thought of Yifan ditching the ball had not fully sunk in on Yixing.

"How many times did you... ugggh stop asking!" Yifan whined under the blankets.

Yixing was already in his dark blue suit, his hair was brushed sideways so that only one side of his forehead was covered by it, and his make-up was slightly done. The only thing missing in his outfit was a cravat. The turquoise tie was sitting on top of his bedside table. He promised Jongdae and Minseok that he would be meeting them in the common room after ten minutes.

"Can't you go now? You are going to be late." Yifan uttered.

"Does your team know you are not attending?"

"They won't even notice if I'm there. Go now!" He yelled.

"Fine! You are such a child!" Yixing yelled back.

I do not even know why I like you.


★ ★ ★


Yixing was attached to Seulgi the moment he entered the hall. Minseok and Jongdae left him alone with his girlfriend to mingle with potential girls they could score that night. He was uncomfortable with the way Seulgi was parading him. Having a senior as a boyfriend was such a big thing especially for a way younger student like Seulgi. It was like winning a lottery.

"You don't have a tie." Seulgi noticed while they were dancing for the second time that hour. Dating a younger person could be really tiring as they have a lot of energy. Yixing could not keep up.

"I forgot to get one. I'm sorry." Yixing lied.

He opted not to wear the matching cravat. Attending the ball with the plan of breaking a heart afterwards felt so wrong for Yixing. He did not want to pretend that he wanted all of this. Wearing the matching cravat would just make him a hypocrite when he told Seulgi that he was going to break up with her.

Yixing wished the party would end up soon. He had excused himself to the restroom thrice so that he could breathe away from Seulgi. His friends were busy socializing with other students. He could not get himself to enjoy this night as the person he wanted to be with was not present.

"Heyyyyyy!" Yixing was relieved to see Minseok. Obviously, he was already tipsy even though alcohol was not allowed in school. His friend couldn't even stand straight that he needed to hold onto the sink as to not bump his head on nearest a wall. Yixing suspected it was Jongdae who stealthily brought a flask of liquor and mixed it with their drink. Professor Yunho would be so pissed if he saw or even knew of this.

Yixing grabbed Minseok's arm to support him. "I cannot believe you let Jongdae spike your drink." He had known Minseok as the more responsible one. He was always the one who kept Jongdae from getting expelled, stopping him from executing his plans to make fun of their classmates or professors.

"I did not! Jongdae brought fun so I made sure he shared it with meeeeeee!!!" Minseok said unsteadily. He was talking so close to Yixing's mouth. Yixing could smell the reek of alcohol from him.

"We need to go now before a professor apprehends you. Where is Jongdae?"

"Therrrrrrrrrree." Minseok pointed at a random direction. It was rare to see Minseok extremely drunk as he had the highest tolerance with alcohol. They often called him "The Monster Liver" because of his reputation of not getting drunk easily. Yixing wondered what kind of strong drink Jongdae gave him.

Yixing dragged Minseok out the bathroom to find Jongdae. The hall was as big as China and finding Jongdae was next to impossible even if he yelled his name. A few moments later, while Yixing was trying to stop Minseok from eating the leaves of the plant on the side of the room, Jongdae showed himself incredibly sober.

"What the actual fuck did you do to Minseok?" Yixing asked, hissing. He thought it was unfair that Jongdae was not as drunk as Minseok but he was thankful that he did not need to carry both of them to their rooms.

Jongdae shrugged. "He asked for it so I gave it to him. Oh, by the way, Seulgi is looking for you. She wanted to see the fireworks with you which is in a few minutes." Jongdae looked at his watch then back at Yixing wearing a wide Cheshire cat-like smile.

The idea made Yixing frown. There was no use of pretending anymore. He might be the greatest douchebag in the history of gay guys who dated girls in Hogwarts just to convince themselves that they're straight, but there was no way of sugarcoating the inevitable.

"It is okay. I will meet her later." Yixing turned to exit the hall. Jongdae followed him, going to the other side of Minseok to help him carry their drunk friend.

"Is there something wrong?" Jongdae asked.

"I am breaking up with her." Yixing admitted.

Jongdae stopped on his tracks, dropping Minseok's arm. "What?"

Yixing sighed. Maybe it was the proper time to come out to his friends too. He would not take it against them if they would stop seeing him after tonight. "I am gay."

"WHAT?!?" Jongdae exclaimed.

"What the hell???" Minseok suddenly sobered up, removing his arms from Yixing's hold.

"I am gay." Yixing repeated. It sounded so official and so true now that he said it out loud. Ironically, he felt great that he finally let it out.

"Since when?" It was Jongdae.

"Just recently. I am not attracted to Seulgi. I just dated her just to prove something to myself. I mean she is pretty and nice but I realized I am not into girls." Yixing was looking down on his feet as he explained himself. He was scared what kinds of disgusting faces his friends were making at him.

Minseok sat for a moment on the floor as he was still unsteady and the things Yixing was telling him made him dizzier. "So, how did you realize that you are gay? Do you like someone?"

Yixing only nodded. This time, he finally glanced up at his friends. Minseok was on the floor while Jongdae was standing in front of him, hands both on his waist. They shared mutual expressions of shock, but they did not seem to be grossed out. They did not run. They were still there after all so it was a good sign.

"Tell us." Minseok demanded.

"It's... It's Yifan."

"OH MY DUMBLEDORE."

"He is not a God, Jongdae."

"Do I look like I care?"

"Oh, you are hopeless."

Minseok and Jongdae quarreled about Dumbledore still being alive, which limited his chances of being a God, proceeding to a very serious Jongdae telling Minseok that Dumbledore was a living god, his living god and how Minseok did not have a say about his choices when it came worshipping gods. They went on for a few minutes and Yixing was amused that they were fighting about such nonsense things when prior to that, they were speaking of more important issues such as Yixing's newly-found sexuality. He patiently waited until the two were done.

"This is really... wow." Minseok sighed.

"It is okay if you want space from me." Saying it ached Yixing. Thinking about losing his two best friends even though they were idiots saddened him. There were still a few months before they graduated and he thought he could make it without them.

"Who says we are abandoning you? I do not know about Minseok but it's cool with me." Jongdae expressed.

"It is okay with me too! I was surprised but this won't affect our friendship. You are still you. You just like guys now."

Yixing was relieved to hear that. Going through self-realization was easier now that he knew that his closest friends supported him. He ran to the both of them and flung his arms around them. He did not notice the tears in his eyes until he saw the little droplets of them on Jongdae's shoulder.
"Thank you so much!" Yixing bellowed.

"It is nothing. Now, let us take this drunkard to bed and then go talk to your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend," Jongdae said, carrying Minseok on his back. "And then after that go to your roommate and... okay I don't wanna know what you'll do with Yifan."


★ ★ ★


Telling someone that you are breaking up with them isn't always easy. It was the first time Yixing had to do it and to be quite honest, he had no idea how to start without hurting Seulgi that much. He was aware that it would hurt her as he knew how the girl liked him so much. He wanted it to be less traumatic for her because she was young and he was her first love.

Yixing returned to the ball to find her. She was with her friends when he found her after the fireworks. Yixing had no time to prolong this anymore so he asked her if they could talk somewhere private. She excused herself from her friends (the other girls giggled, which Yixing assumed it was because they thought he would take their friend to his room, which was definitely not the case).

Yixing took her to Mewling Luhan's Loo. The ghost was about to appear to greet Yixing but when it saw that he was not alone, he shrank back into the wall. He had an inkling as to what was about to ensue.

"What are we doing here, Yixing? They say this place is haunted." Seulgi shivered. She covered her bare arms with her shawl to keep her warmer. The heater on that side of the castle was not working very well. Luhan preferred his abode cold exactly like his soul, so whenever they tried to renovate the place and make it useful again, he scared the workers away.

Yixing offered her to sit on the edge of the tub first. He removed his jacket and spread it on the cold tiles. Seulgi looked apprehensive but she sat down beside him. "I wanna tell you something." Seulgi did not say anything so he continued. "Let us break up."

Seulgi was extremely calm. She did not burst out crying or hysterically throw a fit. It was not her nature but Yixing at the very least expected that she would be angry at him. She waited for this day—bought a nice dress and got her hair and makeup done—expecting her boyfriend would treat her well and that the night would end blissfully. None of those happened. Her boyfriend just broke up with her because he was gay.

Seulgi only smiled sadly and nodded. She was taking it well for her age.

"You can be mad at me. You can hit me if you want to." Yixing uttered. He was prepared to get multiple bruises on the face before the day ended, and he wanted them because he deserved them.

"I knew it." Seulgi chuckled. "My family believes in fortune telling. Our fortune teller told me that I would date a boy in Hogwarts for a while but we would break up soon after."

Yixing was speechless. He hoped her fortune teller did not told her why he was breaking up.
"She also said that it is because he is not in my league."

Okay, Yixing had to meet that creepy fortune teller. How was she that accurate? Yixing could feel his face pale at what Seulgi had said. It was not in his plans to tell her the real reason why he was breaking up. He was just going to tell her that he was not sure about his feelings and that he would be graduating in a few months and having a long distance relationship was not his cup of tea. It sounded so good in his head while he was rehearsing it. However, no, he could not use that excuse anymore as Seulgi would not believe in it.

At this point, Yixing could only look at his feet in embarrassment. It was not easy for him to come out to his best friends. All the more, to the girl who he knew liked him so much. "I am sorry."

"Do not be." Seulgi touched his shoulders. When Yixing looked up at her, she was smiling. She did not seem disgusted or angry at him. It was a nice surprise to know that Seulgi was okay with. "Indeed, I am slightly hurt but I won't stop you if I know you will not find your happiness with me. Go be with someone you really like."

With one last hug, they separated civilly. Yixing offered to walk her to the Gryffiindor chambers but Seulgi declined. There was no reason for him to do so. He had no duties to her anymore. Seulgi pushed him on the different direction, to the hallway leading to Ravenclaw house.

"I know he is waiting. Go." Seulgi smiled at him sincerely before he ran.

He caught himself running again. Like the times when he had to relieve himself, it seemed like the hallway wouldn't end. But this time, he was not escaping.


★ ★ ★


Ravenclaw were not known to be party animals. They attended events and did drink at times. There were known alumni who broke the rules to the extent of getting expelled. Heck, there were current students that were consistently getting in trouble for being outlaws. However, they were afraid to get in trouble with their prefects. Ravenclaw prefects were known to be strict and ruthless to those who refused to follow the rules. That was why when Yixing entered the common room at midnight, no single soul was loitering in the area. They were allowed to stay up as late as they wanted as long as they stayed in their room before 11.

It was generally quiet in the house, even in Jongdae and Minseok's room. Though he still could hear some playing in their rooms, their noises were toned down, just whispers from the boys and giggles from the girls. Evidently, they would still be up after a party. It was just that Jongdae and Minseok (the notorious noisy duo) were too drunk to still create noise.

Yixing had expected Yifan to be asleep once he entered their shared room. There was no reason to stay up this late anyway. And Yifan was not a night person. He slept early and woke up early because of the physical activities he had every day. He told himself that perhaps he would save the confession tomorrow morning so he could gather more courage in him. But when Yixing saw the lamp was still on and Yifan was doodling something on his sketchbook, his breath hitched. All his plans were ruined again.

Yifan looked up from his sketchbook when Yixing came in. He was not bundled in blankets anymore. He was wearing his old Ravenclaw shirt and sweat pants. He smiled at him brightly, putting down his sketchbook to greet Yixing properly.

"Why are you still up?" Yixing asked, removing his suit jacket. He could feel Yifan staring at him while he undressed. He opted to leave his undershirt on for the meantime, popping the first two buttons and cufflinks to let him breath.

"I can't sleep yet." Yifan answered from the bed.

"It's past your bedtime, Yifan. You should sleep." Yixing tried to stall, to postpone his impending doom because even if he was prepared for the worst case scenario, if he could push and avoid this confrontation, it meant he could keep Yifan.

"I was waiting for you."

Yixing sighed to himself, trying to ignore how amorous Yifan's voice was when he said those words. He did not want to think more about it. The past few days were already past his expectations. It got his hopes shooting through the roof because of all the attention Yifan was giving him. Despite all of the positive signals and his desires to come out, Yixing was still scared of the consequences.

He went to his dresser to change to pajamas. He discarded his clothes one by one until he was only in his trousers. He became a little conscious when he caught Yifan staring at him. The taller only averted his gaze, looking back to his sketchbook, when their eyes met. Yixing pulled out the first pair of shirt and sweat pants he saw so that he could dress up quickly. He could not stay exposed that long in front of Yifan (which was not an issue for him before).

Silently climbing to his bed, Yixing sensed an unusual discomfort in the air. None of them were talking but they both felt the tension between them. It was uncomfortable, like the time when they were not in good terms. But also different in a way because he could sense how Yifan was fidgeting on his bed, looking at his direction every now and then that made Yixing very uneasy. He was already settled on his bed, looking at their dark ceiling.

"Can we share the bed tonight?" Yifan finally spoke.

"Sure." Yixing answered right away without looking away from the ceiling.
He heard sheets shuffling until he felt his bed dip and another body was lying beside him. He lifted the blanket so Yifan could sneak in underneath it. Just like that, Yixing's senses were overwhelmed with everything that was Yifan—his scent, his touches, his breathing. Yifan did not asked for his approval to scoop him in his arms. In a snap, Yixing was enveloped by Yifan's strong arms, his head cradled on the taller's chest. He was lost once again.

They stayed like that for minutes, maybe hours. Yixing could not keep up with time while he was in Yifan's arms. All he was aware of was the rhythm of the other's heartbeat and the way he brushed his hands through his locks. He stayed still the whole time, afraid that he would lose the contact with a single movement. Why did they ever need words? Why did they have to define what they had when it felt so good like this? Why did being with someone of the same sex, maybe with the opposite sex as well, have to be classified just to officially say they were together? Yixing preferred this than having the trouble of putting into words what he felt for Yifan. In the same way, he did not need to hear what Yifan had to say as long as they could keep being like this.

Yixing finally found what love was. Love was this, with Yifan. Simple as this.

And perhaps the only way to tell Yifan was not through words. What he felt for Yifan could not be simplified to words. It was intense enough, burning inside him, consuming all of him. It was a kind of feeling that was too strong that even he was left powerless.

So Yixing looked up, his face inches away from Yifan. The taller took his breath away by simply looking at him straight in the eyes. The intensity of his stare melted his soul and Yixing felt his whole being was being shattered bit by bit. There was no denying how he was so in love with Yifan at this moment.

It was now or never. It was the biggest gamble of his life, putting his friendship with Yifan on the line. Yixing was so terrified, trembling even, as he reached for Yifan's cheeks. He was thankful that Yifan did not flinch or avoid his touch. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned in, gently rubbing his face on his palms. He could not help but smile at the gesture. It was more or less an assurance to him that Yifan wanted this too.
Almost immediately, Yifan opened his eyes again. The intensity was not there anymore and Yixing felt like he was being brought to life after being destroyed. Yifan took his hand from his cheeks to kiss the back of it softly. The taller spread his kisses to up to his fingertips without breaking eye contact. If it was a normal day where he would lock himself in a room to fantasize about Yifan, this would definitely be a turn on. But this was reality—the reality in which his feelings were more prevailing than his sexual desires.

Yixing did not remember how the kiss happened. All of a sudden, their lips were inching on each other like how two magnets were pulled by an attracting force. He felt soft lips covering his, Yifan's scent overpowering his senses, and then a pair of arms snaking around his waist to pull him closer. It was not how Yixing imagined it to be. In his head, their first kiss would be covetous. There would be tongues everywhere, groping, fighting for dominance and all of what Luhan had told him. He did not expect that his heart would swell with simple a simple plant of his lips on Yifan's, no movement whatsoever. If hearts were capable of having orgasm, this would be it.

They remained that way for a few seconds before they broke away.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now." Yixing finally spoke after Yifan placed a kiss on his nose. This would be the time to be honest with Yifan and himself. He deserved an explanation after that kiss.
Coaxing his way out of Yifan's embrace (it was a struggle because the other would not let go of him after the confession), Yixing sat up on the bed. Yifan was still lying on the bed, setting two pillows on his back so he could look at him directly from his position.

"I wanna say something." Yixing started. He wasn't nervous any longer if Yifan's light touches on his thighs were an indication that he was feeling the same way.

"I don't really know when all of this started. I was certain about myself and what I wanted, until one day it started to change. The way I look at you changed and it drove me crazy because I thought it was wrong." Yixing explained. "I avoided you because I thought it would make the weird feelings go away. But it just got stronger and the more I denied it, the more it haunted me. Someone told me that perhaps getting a girlfriend might help. It did not. I just felt guilty that I used an innocent girl to convince myself that I am straight. However, it only proved how much I am really attracted to you."

It was comforting that Yifan was smiling at him as he said those words. The taller did not show any disgust or rejection just like how he expected. Yifan did not let him finish his speech when he sat, embracing him and kissing him on his lips. This time, it was not just a peck. Yifan's lips massaged his gently in a manner that got Yixing wobbly in the knees. Yifan lifted him up so that he could straddle him. Yixing happily obeyed as he circled his arms around his neck and kissed him again.

"I am not done talking yet." Yixing pushed Yifan.

"Does it matter right now?"

"It matters to me that you understand all of this."

"I perfectly understand all of this, Yixing. I want you and you want me. Is there anything clearer than that?"

"But… you want me?"

Yifan chuckled. "I would not kiss you if I did not want you or like you, you idiot."

"Does that mean we are… like boyfriends? Is that how you call it?"

"Enough talking. I only want to kiss you right now."

True to his words, Yifan dove in to claim Yixing's lips for the third time.

It felt different when he was kissing Seulgi. It was not that Seulgi was a terrible kisser. The younger girl was his first kiss and both of them were still learning. Their kisses were always fleeting. Most of the time, it was Seulgi initiating and Yixing would go with it because he could not say no. However, Yixing never went as far as touching her while kissing. It was just their lips that were touching and nothing else.

With Yifan, Yixing was burning with desire. The second kiss was not as innocent as the first one. Tongues started to get involved. Yixing got lost on the dance for it was his first time to be kissed in a very voracious manner. He was wary that he was not doing it the right way. Yifan was so good at it, sucking his lower lip first before his tongue was swiping on the side of his mouth for him to open up more. And it made Yixing hungrier for more contact, for more heat.

Yifan's hands began touching places that Yixing only thought would happen in his dreams. They were sliding up on his back, sending shivers straight to his spine. He could not stop the moan escaping from his mouth as Yifan abandoned his lips to skillfully remove his shirt, revealing his flushed torso. Yifan did not hesitate on licking the column of his neck down to his shoulders. Yixing was firing up as he grinded down on Yifan's lap. He could not stop himself from wantonly moaning at the contact of their crotches and Yifan's tongue on him. It was too much. This was so so much better than his fantasies.

He was painfully hard by now. Certainly, Yifan was aware of this as Yixing could also feel the lump on his sweatpants. Yifan's mouth found its way to his nipple, sucking them alternately. The younger man tugged on his hair, almost as if begging for him to not stop his ministrations.

Yixing needed more touches, to feel Yifan's skin on his and it was a little bit unfair that he was the only one losing clothing. He pulled Yifan's shirt up until it slipped out of his head and then he brought their lips together again. It was a sloppy kiss as they were both incoherent already, uncoordinated when it came to where they wanted their mouths to be. Yixing desperately tugged on Yifan’s hair as they kissed, telling him that his mouth was not the only part of his body that needed attention.

Acknowledging their desire for each other, Yixing shamelessly scrambled on Yifan's pants to free his cock. He did not ask for permission. He just yanked the other's pants down a bit until his cock was displayed in front of him. It was beautiful, red and angry, asking to be touched. He stroked it right away, starting from the head down to the length. Yifan threw his head back as Yixing continued stroking him. He was not an expert as it was his first time giving a hand job to another person. He only followed his instinct, observing what made Yifan moan loudly.

Not letting Yixing do the dirty job alone, Yifan did the same to Yixing. They stroked each other with the same speed and accuracy, both cocks leaking in pre-come, both males moaning in unison during the process. They kept their pace until they released on their hands, painting their stomachs white. Still high with their orgasm, they fell on the bed to resume kissing despite their sticky state.

Even though they only did as much as stroking each other, Yixing was contented and he prayed Yifan was too. The desire to have Yifan's cock in his mouth or to go all the way as to bending over for Yifan was strong. If he could do it, he definitely would, but they both had limited knowledge when it came to sex. They were both new to this and Yifan did not want to risk it by being irresponsible. He did not want to end up hurting Yixing and regret it later just because he got carried away. He wanted to make Yixing feel good as well, to give him all the satisfaction he deserved. Sex was important in every relationship but it was not the only thing they could do to show each other how they felt. After all, they did have all their lives to learn about it together.

"Yes, we are boyfriends." Yifan said as he played with Yixing's dark brown locks.

"What?"

"Earlier you asked what we are. We are boyfriends."

Hearing it coming from Yifan was way better than hearing it inside his head. Yixing could not help but smile. He did not need to worry about his ugly round glasses anymore that made him look like a nerd. The way Yifan was staring at him with so much affection, like he was the most beautiful mystical creature, even more beautiful than his unicorn friends, Yixing was assured that he was adored for what he was. The same way he adored Yifan and his peculiar habits and behavior.

Just to make sure it was not a dream, Yixing repeated it. "Boyfriends."


###

EXTENSIVE AUTHOR NOTE AHEAD:

Wow. I do not know what to say. I can't believe that I finished writing this after being so hesitant on joining this fest. First, I wanna thank my wonderful and patient betas S and J who equally worked hard on correcting my enormous mistakes. It was really an honor to be beta-ed by you two. I would not be able to make it here if it were not for the both you. Second, thank you T-unnie and Z for giving me ideas on how to plot this over unlimited samgyeopsal on the eve of the first check-in. Without you, I would have dropped out and surrendered. And finally to the mods, thank you so much for all the help and for creating this fest. I am so grateful for your patience with me and my last-minute requests. You guys are the real heroes.

This is my first time writing for this au and it was a challenge because writing HP and all its technicalities was not easy for me. I will admit that there were so many inconsistencies in the stories. I tried to line this up with all the HP things but I decided to change some name/events (like Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom which I changed to Mewling Luhan's Loo and the the Triwizard Tournament Ball. There is no Acquaintance Ball that occurred in the book) for the sake of the plot. I hope it was okay to do that.

I learned a lot during the process. This is a very nice writing experience. To the prompter, I hope this is what you had in mind and I am sorry if in case I did not give justice to it. Thank you if you have reached this part and endured the whole story. I appreciate it a lot!


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