#57: Our Kind of Mess (1/2)

[exolliarmus]

►username: anonymous
►prompt #: 57
►title: our own kind of mess
►pairings: baekhyun/kyungsoo, mentions of chanyeol/jongin
►rating: pg-13
►word count: 34.5k.
►warnings: profanities, baekhyun's stupidity :D
►summary: Baekhyun falls, once again. This time, it's Durmstrang boy.
►author's notes: [HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF] firstly, thank you op for the prompt! i'm really sorry if you expected a lighthearted fic >< my writing has turned this into a mess. regardless, i hope you and the other readers of this fic fest enjoy it! secondly, thank you mods for being patient with me. and lastly, a huge HUGE thank you to my beta team!! e, you have been tolerating my crying in the middle of the night and you kept motivating me to go on. you are the best, thank u [pcy's voice] i love u lil peanut. and to p, thank u so much for working at the last minute, i love u!! thank u both for betaing my work, i owe you the UNIVERSE!!!!
I REALLY HOPE YOU AKA THE BEAUTIFUL READERS ENJOY THIS FANFIC WITH THE REMNANTS OF MY TEARS (AND A LITTLE BLOODSHED). HAVE FUN READING THIS AND THE REST OF THE LOVELY FICS IN THIS FIC FEST!! xx





“What the fuck...” Baekhyun can’t even comprehend, can’t even think. “…do you think you’re doing?”

There are many things that Baekhyun isn’t proud of, and this moment is one of them.

Baekhyun isn’t entirely a prankster, though his reputation as part of the Beagles (honestly who even named them that? Baekhyun bets his money on Chanyeol’s new crush, Jongin) totally contradicts that. He isn’t entirely notorious either, though the fact that professors are keeping an eye on him and are on his heel for the trouble he has caused contradicts that. He admits that it’s fun to be playing around with his best friends, pulling one or two pranks and being admired for the mischief they get away with.

It feels great to be compared to the Marauders, he feels honoured.

That is to say, being recognised as a prankster isn’t all bad at times. Some people respect him for that, some people like him for it, some people ask him for advice and some people even ask him out to Hogsmeade because of it. He is admired by a majority of the school population. Fellow sixth years can’t even do what he can do, so it does feel pretty amazing.

But at this moment, he wishes he wasn’t known as a prankster.

Despite the ear spasm the boy is currently suffering, his face is handsome. Baekhyun’s eyes keep betraying him, keep falling to the swell of the boy’s lips. The boy, on the other hand, is absolutely oblivious to the inner turmoil Baekhyun is going through. He continues to glare at Baekhyun, ears twitching as an outcome of Baekhyun’s clumsy hit-and-hex. Of course, Baekhyun is great at casting spells. The least out of the Beagles though, as remarked by Chanyeol once but Baekhyun doesn’t admit to it. In his defence, if Jongdae wasn’t moving so much, he would have been able to hex him properly, without hitting an innocent passer-by. Additionally, in his defence, if Jongdae wasn’t being an asshole a few seconds ago, he wouldn’t have the need and anger to hex his own best friend.

Jongdae, the huge reason behind this unfortunate encounter, standing next to Baekhyun, raises his eyebrow at the now mute best friend he has. He elbows Baekhyun, causing him to choke on his saliva and stammer, “I’m s-sorry? Um, y-you are cute?”

It’s the boy’s turn to raise his eyebrow at Baekhyun. “What?”

Baekhyun blinks, abashed. He silently kicks himself, biting back the pain and mortification. He wishes the Giant Squid could eat him up alive at this second, maybe giving himself up to the dark lord isn’t a bad idea, perhaps he can forget about being a wizard and try to be a muggle. He mumbles, trying to avoid the boy’s unflinching doe-eyed glare, “What?”

Jongdae looks at the two of them, chuckling a bit as he pushes Baekhyun away from the boy. He trips on his own feet, as he watches Jongdae points his wand at the boy, who doesn’t even flinch at the tip of the wand pointing directing at him. Jongdae mutters a counter-spell under his breath; the boy’s twitchy ears stop instantly.

“I’m sorry for what he did and for disturbing you,” Jongdae apologises cheerfully. The boy’s scowl remains and he presses his lips into a thin line at Jongdae’s apology. Baekhyun peers, speechless, as Jongdae’s cheerful smile maintains despite the boy’s cold demeanour and he wonders how his best friend can keep a bright expression on. Baekhyun, himself, is slightly sweating from the nerves and his body is too stiff to even move or lift a corner of his mouth.

The boy’s eyes waver between Jongdae and Baekhyun, who has been tangling and untangling his fingers from the tension in the air. His glare focuses on Baekhyun and he spits out, “Be careful, next time.”

Baekhyun merely nods, gulping as he stares at the boy’s bottom lip. He’s definitely going to be careful next time. Jongdae nods as well, though it’s not directed at him, and turns to Baekhyun to pull him away from the boy.

“Karma for trying to hex me, clearly,” Jongdae muses, glancing at Baekhyun who strides next to him.

“Why is he so fucking intimidating?” Baekhyun grumbles, pulling his bottom lip in and biting on it. Normally, he wouldn’t care but the boy had such a cold tone when he spoke towards him that made him feel so uneasy.

“He got hexed by someone he doesn’t even know,” Jongdae points out. “Also, didn’t you say that he’s cute?”

Baekhyun stammers again, “A-at first s-sight!” He starts cursing Jongdae in his head, now he wishes it’s his best friend who’s being eaten alive by the Giant Squid or sacrificed to the Dark Lord. Maybe he could just point his wand at him and mutter out the words of the killing curse, then the world would be a happy place for everyone and especially Baekhyun to live in. Screw Jongdae for reminding him of his embarrassment, screw him for making him hex a cute boy he doesn’t even know.

In the midst of Baekhyun mentally cursing his best friend, Jongdae gives him an annoying smirk, “Didn’t you say you had a Potions essay to do?”

Fuck you, Jongdae, Baekhyun screams out mentally as he runs all the way to the Gryffindor common room to begin on his essay. Jongdae is always the one calling out on his mistakes, on the trembling of his stability on his two feet as Baekhyun loses his way sometimes. Fuck you.

⬖

“Where, in Merlin’s beard, have you guys been?” Chanyeol exclaims as he steps into the common room, accidentally scaring a third year who was on her way out.

Baekhyun remains in his seat, eyes not even leaving the homework in front of him. “Who even let you in?”

Chanyeol simply rolls his eyes, plopping on the couch next to him, breaching into Baekhyun’s space like a leech. Baekhyun wonders when he is ever going to get friends who aren’t actually bothersome. “Just because I’m hanging out with a Hufflepuff doesn’t mean I’ve turned into one, dimwit.”

“You are still a Hufflepuff to us,” Baekhyun remarks, turning his focus to his Potions essay. He bites at the nail of his thumb, mind still concentrated on the doe-eyed boy he accidentally hexed during lunch. Instead of thinking of the necessary points for his essay, he’s thinking of the possibilities of the boy’s house, his name and maybe if he would go out with someone like Baekhyun? Though, he thinks that his chance at going out with the boy has been thrown off the cliff at the moment he casted a hex at the boy.

Again, this is why he needed new friends. Fast.

“You didn’t answer my question, where were you and Jongdae?” Chanyeol pokes at Baekhyun’s cheek, accidentally causing him to bite the tip of his nail off. He turns to send a scowl in Chanyeol’s direction, he merely smiles cheekily. “I asked to meet in the Great Hall, I wanted to introduce you to someone.”

“We were dismissed late because of an accident during Potions,” Baekhyun trails off, the events still vivid in his mind. He inwardly chuckles at the memory of Sehun tripping on his feet, causing his cauldron to fall over and creating a mess. “On our way, I accidentally hexed someone.”

“Who?” Chanyeol asks, incredulously. His eyes widen, like as if his eyes aren’t big enough already, in shock.

“I don’t even know!” Baekhyun mutters, irritated. He glances at the essay he’s barely writing, picks up his quill and attempts to write again. There’s no point dwelling on a stupid doe-eyed boy who probably, most likely, obviously hates him right now.

“Who do you not even know in this school unless…” Chanyeol turns completely to look at Baekhyun in the eye, head tilted to the left, assessing Baekhyun closely. Baekhyun raises his eyesbrows, “What?”

“Unless you met Kyungsoo already.” When Baekhyun doesn’t answer with his face looking dumbfounded, Chanyeol explains further. “Big eyes? Um, short?”

Baekhyun pushes his essay away, accidentally dropping his quill in the process but he could care less now when his best friend knows the name of his newfound crus- no not crush, maybe eye candy. “How do you even know him?”

“Dude, he’s the one I wanted to introduce you to,” Chanyeol snickers. “He’s the childhood friend from Durmstrang.”

Baekhyun leans back into the couch, head falling backwards. “Ah, that explains the glare.” He reaches for his quill and essay again, a smile forming on his lips at the thought of being close to the doe-eyed bo-, Kyungsoo, he corrected silently in his mind. His best friend is useful for a reason after all, not like that asshole Jongdae.

Chanyeol sends a punch to Baekhyun’s arm in a playful manner, “Or the fact that you hexed him.”

“Or that,” Baekhyun agrees, still smiling to himself. “Are we going to meet him during dinner, then?”

Chanyeol leans back as well, meeting Baekhyun’s eyes. “I think? Or maybe he wants to get acquainted with his Slytherin mates.”

“He’s a Slytherin? Figured.”

Chanyeol bites his lip, playing with his fingers. “But he’s a nice guy, I promise you.”

Baekhyun looks at him, looks at the crease forming in between his eyebrows, and looks at the small dimple on his cheek because he has been pressing his lips into a thin line.

He has known his best friend for five years, ever since he stepped on the first train to Hogwarts. If the boy with the oddly pointy ears did not approach him with a wide grin and eyes crinkled, asking to share a cabin, Baekhyun wouldn’t know who he would have been friends with. Ever since then, Baekhyun has seen all sides of Chanyeol through the semesters he spent in Hogwarts and one thing has never changed; Chanyeol sees the good in everyone. He does acknowledge the evil, the bad in some people but somehow, he doesn’t let it affect his judgment. He will still offer a smile to the Dark Lord, Baekhyun bets. It’s because of Chanyeol that the Beagles are friendly with some Slytherins like Sehun and Taemin.

That is why, when the sorting hat chose Gryffindor for the boy with pointy ears, Baekhyun was relieved. Jongdae and Baekhyun always joke that Chanyeol is a Hufflepuff at heart, which in some ways, it’s the truth, but the boy has overwhelming courage which has been shown in many occasions.

And so, Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, smile still lingering on his lips. “I’m sure, he is, Chanyeol.”

⬖

“You again?” those are the first words Kyungsoo says to Baekhyun, when he sees him standing in the middle of Chanyeol and Jongdae.

Baekhyun frowns slightly. It isn’t what he expected but he can’t exactly expect a bright and joyful expression from Kyungsoo who most likely hates his guts right now. He parts his lips to answer to that but Chanyeol beats him to it with, “Soo, this is Baekhyun and Jongdae. Baek, Jongdae, this is Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo smiles tensely at Jongdae who returns it with his signature jovial (or devilish in Baekhyun's point of view, but each to their own right?) smile. When Kyungsoo turns to face Baekhyun, his smile disappears, leaving the cold demeanour, he had earlier, on. Baekhyun’s smile remains, though it’s pinched at the corners.

It's okay, Baekhyun thinks, he's just had a rough day probably... because of me.

“Look, about earlier, I’m really sorry,” Baekhyun begins, eyes casting downhill to the floor, to his shoes then upwards to look into Kyungsoo’s eyes with what he hopes is sincerity. “I hope we can start over as friends?”

Kyungsoo stares at him, eyes unmoving. Baekhyun feels scrutinised under his stare, feeling his skin peel away at the intensity of his gaze, feeling his cheeks burn a crimson colour. He wants to retreat, to run away back into the safe haven of his bed. He is usually braver than this red faced boy standing in front of Kyungsoo, but somehow, his reputation as a ladies man is lacking as of right now. It is like he is stripped of his charming smile, his clever way with words and his ability to sweep anyone off their feet.

He feels naked. And not in the best way possible.

“We’ll see,” is all Kyungsoo says in a clipped manner before looking over at both Jongdae and Chanyeol, offering them a tiny smile each and turning away to join his mates at the Slytherin table. His footsteps out of their sight, into the Great Hall, echoing Baekhyun's heartbeat; brusque and fast.

“Well, you can’t please everyone, Baek,” Jongdae quips, walking ahead of Baekhyun and Chanyeol. His steps are quicker, probably to snatch all the pudding before it is all gone. Baekhyun doesn’t understand how Jongdae isn’t in Slytherin. Not only is he an asshole, but he is also greedy and menacing.

Jongdae’s words ring in his ears, reminding him of a voice he hasn’t heard in years. Even after two years, the voice follows him through his days, he is unable to shake the lilt of the tone off. You cannot please everyone, Baekhyun.

He bites his bottom lip, looking straight on ahead. Chanyeol tugs on his wrist and he cranes his head up to see Chanyeol's 1000-watt smile beaming at him, with all teeth on show. He forces out a smile and follows his best friend into the Great Hall to join his fellow Gryffindors for dinner. Baekhyun continues to stare straight ahead, pretending to not notice his heart hammering in his chest.

It has been years, get over it, Baekhyun, he scolds himself. There is no point in reminiscing the past. He sits down next to Jongdae and flashes a quick, measured smile at Jongin who caught his eye from the Hufflepuff table. Chanyeol sees the brief interaction between them and motions for Jongin to join them. He merely smiles timidly and shakes his head. Baekhyun turns away but not before catching Jongin mouth a ‘later’ at Chanyeol.

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, stabbing his fork into a piece of chicken, “Have fun.”

Chanyeol feigns innocence and raises an eyebrow at him, mouth full of bread. “What?”

The tightness around Baekhyun’s heart has loosened a bit, when he sips his pumpkin juice. “I said, have fun with that kid. Keep it safe, y’know? Condoms and such.”

Chanyeol sputters around his 2^nd? 3^rd? chicken drumstick and tries to wave it off by retorting and hitting Baekhyun’s arm but he barely feels it. Baekhyun’s eyes are focused on a certain boy named Kyungsoo sitting on the Slytherin table, with his hands wrapped around a cup of pumpkin juice, and staring into nothing in particular. His mates continue to bicker all around him, not even noticing his lack of participation. When one of them jokes or says something funny, he merely gives a small smile. Baekhyun’s throat tightens.

The sight of it is too familiar, Baekhyun gulps. He forces another smile out when Jongdae steals Chanyeol’s pudding. He tries to force his eyes away from the Slytherin table and falls short when he keeps stealing peeks at the table, eyes only centered on the black haired boy.

Kyungsoo reminds him too much of himself.

⬖

Professor Henry thought it was a good idea to appoint Baekhyun to Kyungsoo as his partner in Potions.

Baekhyun was perfectly fine being a lone wolf during class. He was fine, making mistakes and blowing up potions on his own because then, he wouldn’t have to get into arguments of who’s at fault and all. He was fine with earning the grades all by himself. He was fine with brewing potions that are difficult to grasp at first without a partner guiding him. He was fine.

Obviously, Professor Henry didn’t think so.

“Alright, Do Kyungsoo,” Professory Henry begins, his voice all cheery and his eyes squinting at the boy through his glasses. “Your partner is Byun Baekhyun, the boy–”

“I know who he is,” Kyungsoo interrupts, already walking over to where Baekhyun is seated. He drops his books on the desk, huffing a bit as he sits on the stool, angled away from Baekhyun like as if he’s some kind of disease that he doesn’t want to catch.

Excuse you, Mister Pretentious, Baekhyun retorts in his mind as he pretends to pay attention to what the Professor is teaching. He continues to doodle on his parchment, drawing Chanyeol’s big, pointy ears and Jongdae’s catty smile. He scribbles some song lyrics by the boyband, TVXQ because he overheard Minseok singing it during Transfiguration and now it is stuck in his head.

“Pay attention, Byun,” Kyungsoo hisses through his teeth, diligently taking down notes. “I won’t take responsibility if the potion isn’t brewed properly due to your inability to listen in class.”

Baekhyun blinks, scoffs and replies back in a not-so-quiet whisper, “I’ll let you know that I can multi-task and I happen to be listening as well.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asks, rhetorically, without taking his eyes off his parchment. “What potion are we brewing today?”

Baekhyun chances a look at someone else’s parchment (as Kyungsoo is shielding his, what a brat.) and answers with smugness wielded in his voice, “Felix Felicis.”

“Good for you, Byun,” Baekhyun begins to grin wider. “It’s good to know that you can read well from a distance.”

Baekhyun’s grin falls. He erases all impressions he had of Kyungsoo before, such as him being cute (that was a terrible mistake on his end.) and him being … Baekhyun has a flashback of last night; Kyungsoo sitting at the Slytherin table, listening but not listening to his mates, drifting into a state of nothingness. He shakes his head slightly, he erases all those thoughts he had of Kyungsoo then and settles on one conclusion; Kyungsoo is a brat, similar to Jongdae. Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek before rolling his eyes at the boy and muttering under his breath, “A brat, indeed.”

Kyungsoo puts down his quill gingerly and turns slowly to face Baekhyun. His wide-eyed scowl sends daggers in Baekhyun’s direction, and he’s pretty sure if it wasn’t a metaphor, he would be dead by now. Baekhyun braves himself by staring right back but he is sure the fear is seen in his eyes.

“What did you say?” Kyungsoo questions lowly, his anger seeping into his sonorous voice.

“Um,” is all Baekhyun says. He inches backwards away from the storm brewing in Kyungsoo instead of the potion they were supposed to brew in the cauldron. He knows he has crossed the line again this time, he is starting to see the Kyungsoo he accidentally hexed on their first meeting. Kyungsoo has his eyebrows furrowed, a crease in his forehead and his lips are pursued in fury. Baekhyun swallows, his Adam apple bobbing.

Professor Henry chooses that moment to start rattling off the ingredients they would be needing for the potion and Kyungsoo merely throws a dirty look to Baekhyun before turning away to note it down. Baekhyun lets out the breath he has been, unknowingly, holding in. No matter how much resentment he feels towards Professor Henry for making them Potions partners, he suddenly feels a surge of gratitude to him for interrupting what could be Baekhyun’s last moment in his life.

Baekhyun allows his eyes to skim over Kyungsoo and takes in his too big, neatly ironed robes. He wonders if his tough, cold demeanour comes from schooling in Durmstrang or it is part of his character. All Baekhyun really knows about Kyungsoo is that he has chosen to school at Durmstrang instead of going to Hogwarts with Chanyeol and also that he has been there for Chanyeol when… – Baekhyun bites his lip– his mother had passed away.

Kyungsoo clears his throat, snapping Baekhyun out of his trance. He realises that he has been staring at Kyungsoo and now he’s gazing into his eyes.

“What,” Baekhyun says, despite the slight tension in the air since he got caught of staring at his Potions partner.

Kyungsoo continues to look at him simply, assessing him with his doe eyes. Baekhyun feels like he’s being cut open under the stare, feels his skin tingling from the uneasiness he is going through. Baekhyun has his eyes fixated on a spot on the ground, unable to look up. When seconds pass by and Baekhyun’s body grows stiff and tense from Kyungsoo’s unflinching stare, he finally breaks it and slices through the rigid air with his command.

“Make yourself useful and go get these ingredients,” Kyungsoo pushes a piece of parchment closer to Baekhyun’s side, within his sight, on the desk. Baekhyun looks down at the parchment and back at Kyungsoo who cocks an eyebrow at him in impatience.

Baekhyun pursues his lips and grabs the parchment, crumbling it slightly in a haste. When he returns to their desk with the ingredients needed, he drops them right in front of Kyungsoo out of spite. Kyungsoo jerks slightly and proceeds to send another scowl in Baekhyun’s direction. Baekhyun pretends to not see it, he is still slightly flustered from the scrutinising stare Kyungsoo had him under. Shaking his head slightly as if to dismiss the weird thoughts he’s about to have about Kyungsoo, he focuses on the task at hand.

“Move away,” Kyungsoo commands again, before shoving Baekhyun away from the cauldron. He stands before it, staring at his parchment with squinted eyes. Baekhyun scoffs inwardly, someone needs glasses.

“We’re supposed to do this together,” Baekhyun insists, his hand gripping the Ashwinder egg. “Allow me, or I’m not letting you have the egg.”

Kyungsoo ignores him and simply turns back to the cabinet to grab another Ashwinder egg. Fucking brat, Baekhyun curses in his mind. He grips the egg in his hand tightly, his knuckle is turning white. Fine, he rebuts silently. If Kyungsoo wants to act that way, he can do it his way as well.

Baekhyun bumps his hip against Kyungsoo’s roughly, resulting in the latter tripping over his shoes and landing on his stool ungracefully. The shock on his face is enough for Baekhyun to swell with glee over the sweet revenge he had but then, the look slowly transitions into his familiar-looking glare. His eyes are darker now, his lips set into a thinner line. Baekhyun knows he has crossed the line now, but he can’t be bothered. He continues to brew the potion; adding the necessary horseradish and squeezing the juice out of a squill bub.

“I can’t fucking believe your nerve,” Kyungsoo growls, standing up immediately and pushing Baekhyun back. Out of surprise, Baekhyun accidentally drops the entire squill bub into the cauldron, causing the potion to hiss noisily. Kyungsoo stops in his tracks, swivels to the cauldron with a concerned expression and turns back to Baekhyun with accusatory written all over his features.

“What did you do now,” Kyungsoo asks through gritted teeth, his fist tangled into Baekhyun’s robes. Baekhyun shakes his head in defense, he did not do a fucking thing, he wants to shout at Kyungsoo's face. He pushes Kyungsoo off him and brushes imaginary dust off his robes even when the latter did not even damage or taint his uniform. He fixes his face into an unapologetic look, staring at Kyungsoo through lidded eyes.

“You fucking made me drop the squill bub!” Baekhyun contends with accusatory planted in his voice. His shout is nearly drowned out by the noise made by the other students and the sound of brewing potions in the classroom. He narrows his eyes at Kyungsoo. “I’m not the one who has anger management issues and pushed someone off!”

Baekhyun can spot Kyungsoo’s tight grip on his wand underneath his robes and to be frank, his heart is beating so fast, he needs to take a second to breathe. The fury in Kyungsoo’s eyes is unmistakeable and he knows he is about to get hexed on the spot if he doesn’t do anything to fix the situation but damn you, Kyungsoo, he has too much pride to fix what he has done. Baekhyun continues to stare back at Kyungsoo, the tension building up again like before except that it has intensified with all the wrath between the two boys.

What breaks the glaring contest (which Baekhyun was winning, by the way, he could see Kyungsoo wielding underneath his stare practically.) is a ‘pop’ sound and before the two boys know what is happening, their cauldron explodes in front of their faces. The remnants of the failed potion splatters all over the floor and on their robes. The explosion alerts the entire class, sending everyone into a frenzy.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Baekhyun mutters continuously under his breath. The pain of the liquid from the potion is still burning his hand but he is too fixated on the aftermath of this. Is he going to be given a bad grade? Is Professor Henry finally going to notice how bad of a wizard Baekhyun is going to be? Is Baekhyun going to be castrated by Kyungsoo? Is Professor Henry going to report them to the headmaster? Is he going to get expelled? Is he going to live after this second?

Trying to appreciate his hands, his surroundings and perhaps, Sehun’s face for what might be his last moment in his life, Baekhyun stands motionless in the midst of the mess. He can feel Kyungsoo radiating his rage beside him as he look upon the mess Baekhyun– no, they both created. Kyungsoo looks more affected by the idea of a mess than the idea of him possibly going through his death soon.

“What is the meaning of this…?” Professor Henry voices out slowly, as he goggles around the area with a disapproving look, eyes widening at every single broken piece of the cauldron.

“It’s his fault!” Baekhyun and Kyungsoo point at each other at the same time, earning them laughter from the other students and also a ‘tsk’ from Professor Henry who prods on, lecturing them about the safety of potion brewing and the possibility of detention. But all Baekhyun can hear is Jongdae’s laughter from the other end of the classroom, mixed in with Sehun’s and also Chanyeol’s “As expected from our Baekhyunnie”. He hears Kyungsoo’s voice suddenly, a low, furious voice, speaking up.

“I’m not the one who made a mistake in the potion, it’s Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun bites his lip before he could say something impulsive that would further expand his punishment.

“He made me drop the squill bub!” he avows, defensively. Professor Henry doesn’t even listen to their protests, he merely shushes them with a wave of his wand, silencing them.

“You two will do detention in the Forbidden Forest under the supervision of Professor Junmyeon and that is it,” Professor Henry commands in his attempt at his most intimidating voice but falling short when his voice squeaks out of habit at the end. Baekhyun’s face scrunches up into laughter but no sound comes out, courtesy of Professor Henry’s hexing skills of course. Kyungsoo looks solemn and just nods his head at the professor.

"Scourgify," Professor Henry mutters the spell under his breath which automatically erases the remnants of the explosion away, even every little spot is gone and the classroom is back to its original state. When both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun finally receive their voices back, Kyungsoo turns to Baekhyun with another scowl sporting his face and really, Baekhyun thinks he should stop doing that or else his handso– ugly, deformed face will suffer wrinkles.

“Fuck you, Byun,” is all Kyungsoo says out of his rage before the bell rings, signalling the end of Potions period. He storms off, with his books, leaving Baekhyun speechless behind him.

When Baekhyun finally regains his composure and retrieves his senses back and he comes in realisation that Kyungsoo actually cursed him, he shouts out loudly into the empty room, “Hey, fuck you too!”

⬖

“That was bloody amazing, by the way,” Jongdae comments casually as they climb the stairs to the Gryffindor tower. They stop in time for the staircase to move to the right, before continuing their climbing.

“What was?” Baekhyun asks, not paying attention to anything Jongdae says. He never does, anyway.

“The prank during Potions of course. We didn’t discuss about doing anything but–”

Baekhyun stops abruptly, Jongdae is already a step ahead of him. He turns around to raise an eyebrow at Baekhyun who is staring at him incredulously.

“It wasn’t a prank,” he says guardedly. “It was an accident.”

“Well, everyone thinks it’s a prank on your behalf,” Jongdae shrugs but the words are already whirling around in Baekhyun’s head.

Baekhyun begins to mute Jongdae out as he babbles on and on about the pranks the Beagles should start putting into action and whatever that Baekhyun is not really that interested in at the moment. He is more interested in what the doe-eyed boy might think or do if he hears that rumour circulating around. Baekhyun can just imagine his inevitable death right now. And once more, this is why Baekhyun wishes he isn’t known as a prankster; all of his acts may be interpreted as pranks and no one will actually take him seriously when he says they aren’t.

“Hey, Soo!” Soo? Baekhyun returns to reality and notices Kyungsoo standing right outside of the Gryffindor common room, blatantly looking at everyone with his wide-eyed gaze.

Speak of the devil, Baekhyun muses as he strides right next to Jongdae. Baekhyun gives a measured, timid smile at Kyungsoo who ignores it, of course, what is new? Instead of greeting Jongdae back, he turns to Baekhyun; his eyes focusing on him.

“Professor Junmyeon said that we’ll do detention on Friday instead,” Kyungsoo deadpans, his eyes falling to the ground.

Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, “Hey, Kyungsoo. About earlier… I’m–“

“Save it,” Kyungsoo growls, a low sound resonating from his throat. Baekhyun jerks slightly, his head snapping upwards to look at him but Kyungsoo is not even looking at him anymore. His eyes are downcast, his hands in loose fists. Baekhyun reaches a hand out to touch him, console him, something when Kyungsoo suddenly turns away from both Jongdae and Baekhyun and walks away without another word.

Jongdae eyes Baekhyun dubiously, “What was that about?”

Baekhyun ignores him, swivelling to the portrait of the Fat Lady who glowers at him, “Password?”

“Banana fritters,” and with that, the portrait swings inwards, allowing them access into the Gryffindor common room. Baekhyun stalks off to the boys’ dormitory, his heart feeling heavy from the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes. Jongdae trots after him, silenced for once, at the expense of Baekhyun’s sudden mood swing.

Baekhyun plops onto his bed, burying his head into his pillow. He can hear Jongdae sighing behind him and sitting on his own bed. Baekhyun turns over and stares at the ceiling above him, feeling a headache coming on. He bites his bottom lip, remembering Kyungsoo’s expression. His heart, like a heavy weight, sits in his chest as he mulls over Kyungsoo’s words.

You cannot please everyone, Baekhyun, the words coming back to remind him over and over again, yet he still feels the need overcoming his being. He closes his eyes, pondering and letting his thoughts consume him before sleep arrives.

Why is it so hard, he thinks morosely, to just talk to Kyungsoo?

⬖

Kyungsoo is not in the Great Hall.

Baekhyun grips the package inside his pocket and takes another sweeping glance of the Slytherin table to find that indeed, Kyungsoo is not in the Great Hall for break. He ponders over the many, possible locations where Kyungsoo might be at when Chanyeol suddenly nudges him, causing him to bite his tongue. Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol, with an enraged look, the metallic taste of his blood lingering in his mouth.

“Oops, sorry,” Chanyeol smiles, as if it could heal the pang Baekhyun is feeling. “What are you thinking so much about?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun hisses, lisp wedged in his voice because of his bitten tongue. His eyes look over to the Slytherin table where a certain boy is currently missing. His shoulders begin to droop at the realisation that maybe Kyungsoo is avoiding him or some sort.

Chanyeol nudges him again, this time gently. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been looking at the Slytherin table an awful lot.”

Baekhyun colours, a crimson blush spotting his cheeks. He nudges Chanyeol back, in abashment. “I was not doing such a thing!”

Chanyeol pinches one of Baekhyun’s cheeks and coos at him while Baekhyun lours at him through his eyelashes. Baekhyun pinches the skin on Chanyeol’s wrist in retaliation and practically sniggers when his best friend jerks back in pain.

“Your Kyungsoo is in the library, by the way,” Chanyeol says, still rubbing his wrist while scrunching up his face in mock pain.

“He’s not my anyt–“Baekhyun shrieks out but stops brusquely at the smug expression Chanyeol is wearing. Trying to control his blush, he stands up quickly and runs off in the direction of the library, screaming out a “Thank you!” to Chanyeol who is left snickering behind.

Baekhyun takes two steps at a time and when he finally arrives at the library, he is almost out of breath and is panting for air. He rests his palms on his knees as he scavenges around the room for the Durmstrang boy. When his eyes land on a black-haired boy, his lips stretch upwards into a grin and he dusts imaginary dust off his robes before making his way to the table.

Upon hearing his approach, Kyungsoo holds his wand, pointing at Baekhyun warningly. His eyes are still casted downwards, reading his book and not sparing Baekhyun a glance. A packet of chocolate frogs is placed gently on top of his book, within his sight and when Kyungsoo decides to look up from his book, Baekhyun is smiling tenderly at him with no bite at all.

“A peace offering,” Baekhyun says softly, holding his hands up while taking a seat next to him. Kyungsoo stares at him curiously, assessing his actions. He lowers down his wand, slowly, tilts his head sideways, not removing his eyes off Baekhyun, and jerks his chin towards the chocolate frogs. When Baekhyun returns it with a dumbfounded expression, he sighs and raises an eyebrow, “Explain.”

“Oh!” Baekhyun exclaims. He bites his bottom lip, again out of habit, and says his next words carefully. “I wanted to properly apologise for whatever happened. I feel bad for giving you trouble, though it wasn’t on purpose. I just…” he trails off, taking another deep breath. “I’m just really sorry. I think we started off on a wrong note, can we start over?”

Kyungsoo is still staring at him, though this time Baekhyun cannot decipher the expression he’s wearing. The heaviness Baekhyun always feels in his chest around him is back, and he’s confused. He bites the inside of his cheek, the feeling weighing him down. The sting of the bite masks the uneasiness and uncertainty over Kyungsoo’s stare. He still hasn’t answered Baekhyun, yet. Baekhyun wishes he knows the spell to read someone’s mind, in order to find out Kyungsoo’s thoughts of this situation and of course, about him.

Kyungsoo breaks the silence by turning a page and tearing the packet of chocolate frogs open. He drops his gaze to his book, no longer paying attention to the contours on Baekhyun’s face. Baekhyun watches him as he bites into the chocolate and licks his bottom lip. The heaviness lingers in his heart.

“Thank you for the chocolate frogs but,” Baekhyun lightens up at Kyungsoo’s words but his shoulders fall forward again at the mention of a ‘but’. Kyungsoo continues, oblivious, “I will hurt you if you ever talk to me again.”

Baekhyun blinks once, twice. There is a smile playing on Kyungsoo’s lips and he isn’t sure what or how to comprehend it. He stutters out an ‘okay’ before getting to his feet and scurrying out of the library with his heart finally easing up without Kyungsoo’s presence around.

He takes a deep breath, shaking, once he reaches the Gryffindor tower, what has happened to me?

⬖

“You like him,” Jongdae declares, snapping Baekhyun’s Arithmancy book shut. Baekhyun’s chin jerks upwards, startled.

“Wh-what?” Baekhyun sputters, pushing Jongdae’s hand away from his book. He can feel his cheeks colouring again like before, with Chanyeol.

“Kyungsoo told me you tried to scout him out during break today,” Jongdae explains, falling onto the couch next to Baekhyun. He pushes back against Baekhyun and swings his legs over the armrest. Baekhyun gives him a stink eye but Jongdae, of course, ignores it and hums blissfully to himself.

“Since when were you buddy buddy with Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun narrows his eyes at Jongdae, tapping the wooden cover of his textbook with his index finger according to the melody Jongdae is humming. It takes him a few seconds to realise that it’s that Super Junior song in the trend.

“We get along better than you think.”

“I don’t think,” Baekhyun says and it earns a smirk from Jongdae. He continues, slapping Jongdae’s cheek playfully. “I don’t think about you or Kyungsoo, for that matter.”

Jongdae’s smirk grows, “Chanyeol says otherwise.”

Baekhyun turns, folding his legs under his butt, which causes Jongdae to fall backwards into his lap. He pursues his lips, makes a disgusted sound in the back of his throat and pushes at Jongdae’s mop of curls. Jongdae merely continues to lie on his lap, humming even more contentedly.

“Since when did you believe Chanyeol’s words?”

“Ever since he started talking about you and Kyungsoo like some old married couple,” Jongdae chuckles. “You guys bicker a lot, it’s hilarious.”

“It’s not!” Baekhyun whines, drawling out his syllables. He knocks his knee against Jongdae’s ear which earns him a light slap on his knee. He pretends to groan in pain, which earns another slap to his knee.“What’s not?” Baekhyun hears Chanyeol before he sees him plopping on the floor directly facing both Baekhyun and Jongdae.

“Baekhyun falls, once again,” Jongdae announces, smirk spreading wide on his face. “This time, it's Durmstrang boy.”

Baekhyun frowns, his bottom lip jutting out. Jongdae's words spin around in his head, pushing his other mild thoughts away. He stares at both of his best friends (he’s working at getting new friends, he’ll be getting there), feeling the anger build up in his system. There’s nothing between Kyungsoo and him (sadly, no no, Baekhyun affirms, not sadly at all) and he feels the fury burning his throat, almost making him scream at his best friends' faces. There is absolutely nothing. Do Kyungsoo is nothing.

“I don’t know what you are so worked up about,” Baekhyun relays his thoughts to the two boys. “There is nothing between Kyungsoo and me.”

“Maybe but perhaps in your favour?” Jongdae chirps up, still encouraging the idea. Baekhyun wants to punch his face till his face caves in and he will be walking around, wearing a deformed face because of yours truly.

Baekhyun stays silent. His mind is filled with too many thoughts of a boy who doesn’t even like him bac– goddamnit. It's all Jongdae's fault, honestly. When Baekhyun doesn't answer him, Chanyeol speaks up instead, his hoarse voice from Quidditch practice is detectable.

“Can't you just admit that you have a thing for Soo?” Chanyeol raises his eyebrows, like he's pointing out something obvious.

Wait. Baekhyun’s eyes widen, mouth open in affronted shock. “What?”

Jongdae nods, eyes flicking over to Chanyeol, agreeing with him, “It’s so obvious. Especially when you turn to a blabbering, nervous mess infro–“

Baekhyun slaps his palm over Jongdae’s mouth, causing the latter to squirm and wince around his hand. Baekhyun shouts, feeling the betrayal and utter resentment building up in his body, “I can’t believe you guys would say such a thing!”

“You're just in denial,” Chanyeol says, his eyes crinkled up in amusement while Jongdae bites a bit of Baekhyun's skin, causing him to pull his hand back. Jongdae grins, unapologetic. “Again.”

Baekhyun huffs, bringing his book close to his chest, “It's the truth.” His mouth is in a pout, at the thought of Kyungsoo, the many possibilities, his low voice when he speaks to Baekhyun like he's a child, his unwavering gaze and... Baekhyun blinks, remembering the expression Kyungsoo had on his face when he gave him the chocolate frogs. Baekhyun is sure, that what he feels is not a crush, it's not, it's definitely not, it can't be when he doesn't even stand a chance.

It can't be when he never stands a chance with Kyungsoo.

He looks up, returning back to reality, at the scene of Chanyeol and Jongdae bickering and laughing. Baekhyun cracks a smile, throws away the thoughts of a certain boy and attempts to not think of anything anymore by joining his best friends in their usual conversations about pranks, the gossip of Hogwarts and not Do Kyungsoo.

⬖

“What are you trying to do?” are the first words Kyungsoo utters to Baekhyun when he sits across him in the almost empty library, with his books accompanying him.

“Didn't I say I would hurt you if you ever try to talk to me again?” are the next set of words Kyungsoo says when it looks like Baekhyun isn't going to move anytime soon from his table.

Baekhyun merely gives him a small smile, while writing something on a piece of parchment. He slides it over to Kyungsoo who raises an eyebrow at him, Baekhyun gestures for him to read it, his smile not fading away. He pretends to return to his books but at the corner of his eye, he could see Kyungsoo pressing his lips into a line, trying to fight the smile about to take over.

Baekhyun's heart soars.

They spend the free period, doing homework and studying through subjects in preparation for N.E.W.T.s. The entire free period consists of Baekhyun stealing glances at the doe-eyed boy across and sometimes, he's caught, sometimes he has the liberty of gazing at every single freckle dotting the boy's neck. When Baekhyun doesn't feel like reading through chapters of Arithmancy, he doodles on his parchment, pays attention to the boy's movements and thinks (or daydreams) of the many possibilities of them.

Kyungsoo leaves first, pushing Baekhyun's parchment from before towards him and mumbling a 'goodbye' before scuttering off to the Slytherin tower. Baekhyun takes a deep breath and looks at the parchment.

i know u said u will hurt me if i talked to u again but im not gonna say anyth just let me sit here and study w u ok??

you are welcome ...to sit here tomorrow if you'd like, byun.

Baekhyun giggles, and quickly clamps his palm over his mouth. He holds the parchment gingerly and the smile on his face is not going anywhere anytime soon. And so Baekhyun sits there, stares at the space opposite him,

questions the fast pace his heart is beating at and thinks of the words his best friends said to him.

He so does not have a crush on Do Kyungsoo.

The next few days, free periods are spent with Kyungsoo and when Baekhyun doesn't see him at breakfast, lunch and dinner, he starts moving over there with bagels, sandwiches and any type of food that is small enough to hide beneath his robes. Chanyeol gives him questioning looks when he asks him to pass him more food than necessary in the Great Hall, Jongdae gives him a knowing look and pats him on the back with a 'good luck'.

Baekhyun doesn't know what he's doing, but he starts to crave for the feelings he gets in the pit of his stomach when he's around Kyungsoo. He starts to crave for the small smiles Kyungsoo gives him sometimes, he starts to crave desperately for the conversations they have on a piece of parchment. He starts to indulge in the warmth by his side during Potions, he starts to appreciate the silence that comes with Kyungsoo, he starts to realise something he has been trying to lock away in his mind.

Maybe, he thinks, as he stares at the black haired boy across him, writing diligently on his parchment while taking glances at the textbook next to him. Maybe, I like him. But as soon Baekhyun thinks of the possibility, he shakes it away. It must be because I want to be his friend, that's all.

It still doesn't explain his smile when he sees Kyungsoo taking a bite of one of the bagels he brought over, or his heart skipping a beat when he earns a smile from Kyungsoo, or even the stretch of his grin threatening to break out on his face when he rereads the messages they exchange on one of Baekhyun's parchments.

As the day of their detention grows nearer, Baekhyun starts discovering a few traits of Kyungsoo such as his wit, his dry sense of humour and his never-ending threats. He seems to say so many things with so little words whilst Baekhyun trips over his own feet, trying to explain the simplest things with so many words.

Baekhyun looks up suddenly, as the ball of parchment rolls off his head. Kyungsoo goes back to writing his notes, acting nonchalant as Baekhyun unwraps the parchment and smooths the crumpled paper.

you're going for detention later, right?

ofc like as if i could dodge prof junmyeon LOL

Kyungsoo gazes at Baekhyun, after reading his message. Baekhyun's bright grin wavers slightly when Kyungsoo fixes a gaze on him similar to the one during Potions that time. He feels his heart pacing at a fast speed again, and he thinks, not again.

“I...uh,” Kyungsoo starts speaking, but stops abruptly to think over his words. Baekhyun waits, he waits as he sees the changes in Kyungsoo's expressions. “I don't know why are you keeping me company but... thank you.”

He quickly gathers his books and scurries away, head facing the floor, before Baekhyun could even part his lips to say something. The grin on Baekhyun's face can't fade away, not even when he reaches the Gryffindor tower, not even when the last period of the day ends, not even when he tries to take a nap in the afternoon. Kyungsoo's words run around his mind, along with his flustered expression, the shape of his mouth when he utters those words, the colour of his cheeks and even, the tangling of his fingers. Baekhyun smiles in spite of all that and when he strides in the hallways to Professor Junmyeon's quarters for detention, he realises of the possibility of a crush blossoming. And once again, he shrugs it off as there's no way he could be having a crush on someone who is unattainable.

⬖

“Lumos,” all three of them mutter at the same time, the lights travelling to the tips of their wands, allowing them to see slightly better in the Forbidden Forest.

Professor Junmyeon walks ahead of them, pointing his wand straight to guide the two boys into the forest easily. Kyungsoo trods on a little further than Baekhyun as he stays behind with a view of the crown of Kyungsoo's head. They watch their steps carefully and Baekhyun pants slightly as they continue to go deeper into the forest. Professor Junmyeon doesn't seem like he's stopping anytime soon, so Baekhyun drags his feet out on the grass, cursing his weak legs and the professor and also the idea of detention in general.

Baekhyun was in a midst of cursing Jongdae (just because) when he collides into Kyungsoo's back, his nose in contact with Kyungsoo's head. He steps back, clutching his nose and groaning as he feels his nose aching from the collision. He's expecting Kyungsoo to turn back and fix a glare on him like he would always do but this time, he's staring straight ahead, not even registering the fact that Baekhyun had bumped into him.

He looks up to see what caused Kyungsoo to be so unaware of his surroundings. There are two hippogriffs standing, and flashing their wings high as they see the the professor and the two boys approach. They huff, a sign of a warning to back away but Professor Junmyeon merely smiles, unafraid and bows to them. The hippogriffs take a few seconds before bowing back, a gesture that shows acceptance and the professor's smile grows.

“Meet Astraea,” Professor Junmyeon gestures to the hippogriff standing to the right of him and then gestures to the one on his left, “and meet Artemis!”

Baekhyun watches with his jaw open, fascinated. He has, of course, seen hippogriffs before and had the privilige to interact with them during Care of Magical Creatures periods but he has never seen them basked under the moonlight; its light defining their wings shape and making them appear more majestic than ever in the presence of a moon. Their orange eyes look even brighter than ever in the dark as opposed to the sunlight in the day. He takes a step forward, instinctively, ignoring the look of shock he sees on Kyungsoo's face from the corner of his eye. Baekhyun makes a flourished bow, his backbone bending low, to pay his respects to the two hippogriffs glowering before him. He straightens up after a few seconds and his lips stretch upwards at the sight of the hippogriffs bowing back before him.

“Well done, Baekhyun!” Professor Junmyeon exclaims. He turns to Kyungsoo, eyebrow raised. “It's your turn now, Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun steps away as Kyungsoo tentatively, nervously walks forward till he's a safe distance away from the hippogriffs. His gulp is evident; his Adam apple bobbing as he copies Baekhyun's actions earlier. When he straightens up, Kyungsoo takes a step back, Baekhyun could see him curling inwards, afraid of a hippogriff attack but to his surprise, the hippogriffs take it well and bow back to him, signalling that they are okay, he's okay. Kyungsoo lets out his breath, the end of his lips quirks upwards at the hippogriffs.

“Alright, good job!” Professor Junmyeon applauds, smiling proudly like as if it is one of his regular Care for Magical Creatures classes and not a detention period. “I'm going to need the both of you to feed these two hippogriffs and just tend to their needs such as brushing their fur and wings.”

“That's the punishment?” Kyungsoo looks fearful, stealing an anxious glance at the two hippogriffs before him. “What if they attack us?”

“No, no,” the professor brushes it off, smiling reassuringly. “You have gained their respect, they wouldn't attack you unless you treat them badly, of course. But I'm sure you boys are too smart to try something stupid, right?”

Baekhyun nods. Kyungsoo still doesn't look convinced.

Professor Junmyeon continues to smile, unaffected by Kyungsoo's expression. “I'll be back in half an hour. By then, you'll be done with your detention. Good luck!”

Baekhyun skips to Astraea, stopping right in time to brush her mane gently. He coos at her as she tilts to receive more petting from Baekhyun. He presses his thumb lightly on her mane and does it continuously as Astraea whines lowly in appreciation.

“Astraea, hello,” he whispers, the syllables of her name rolling on his tongue, unfamiliar.

He swivels his head around to meet Kyungsoo's searching eyes, he tries to let go of the feeling that is rising in his heart. “C'mon, they won't bite you unless you do.”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him, giving him a peculiar expression. The feeling in Baekhyun's heart is rising and rising, he can feel it as a lump in his throat. Kyungsoo stares, Baekhyun has seen this before too many times, and bites his lip as he turns look at Artemis instead and sighs in defeat. He walks towards her cautiously, watching her every single movement with his doe eyes and finally makes the first move by brushing her mane like Baekhyun is doing to Astraea.

He lets out his breath again, the tension in his body loosening, “I've never seen a hippogriff upclose.”

Baekhyun laughs as Astraea tickles his wrist with the tip of her beak, “Really? Don't they have hippogriffs in Durmstrang?”

“We do, but... we don't have the opportunity to interact with them in classes,” Kyungsoo says slowly, measuring every syllable said.

Baekhyun forces himself not to look, just from the corner of his eye, he could see Kyungsoo getting more comfortable with Artemis. He smiles despite himself, “That's weird. At Hogwarts here, we are taught to treat hippogriffs as friends, not dangerous creatures.”

Baekhyun's words stay in the air, with no accompanying words by Kyungsoo but he doesn't mind. He's used to unfinished conversations with Kyungsoo, he's used to letting conversations die that way, he's used to keeping his unimportant words within him, he's used to the silence; he's learnt to appreciate them more with Kyungsoo.

They stay like that; brushing the hippogriffs' wings and occasionally feeding them meat that are laid out by the side in courtesy of Professor Junmyeon. The only sounds in the air are the horse whining of the hippogriffs and Baekhyun's contagious laughter.

“I can't believe this is our punishment,” Baekhyun speaks out of nowhere, feeding Astraea a piece of meat. He has been playing catch with Astraea by making her catch the meat from a further distance.

Kyungsoo looks at him, eyebrow cocked, meat in his left hand. Artemis whines, impatiently in front of him. He chuckles a little before giving in to the hippogriff by letting her have the meat.

“It doesn't feel like we are being punished for blowing up Potions class,” Baekhyun explains. “It feels like a celebration with the hippogriffs.”

“Be careful, Byun,” Kyungsoo muses, giving Baekhyun one of his weird quirky smiles. “Hippogriffs are known to be dangerous.”

“No, they are not,” Baekhyun says, refusing to believe such a majestic creature could ever cause harm to them or people in general. An idea sparks in his mind, lighting up as he has found a way to prove Kyungsoo's perspective of magical creatures wrong. Why didn't he think of it earlier? He smiles at Kyungsoo, winking for added effect as he struts over to Astraea's side, too close for safety.

“What are you doing, Byun?” Kyungsoo stares in horror as Baekhyun blatantly ignores him. He pets Astraea's mane, whispers into her ear (“Be good to me, love, and don't embarrass me alright?”) and climbs onto her back as she lowers down for him.

“Baekhyun, get back down here!” Kyungsoo shouts. When Baekhyun doesn't budge at all, he continues to shout, warning him. “That's dangerous! Do you want to get killed?”

“Astraea wouldn't hurt me,” Baekhyun giggles as he pets her back. “Right, Astraea?”

The hippogriff whines in response, Baekhyun's grin grows wider as he snuggles into the fur of the hippogriff's back. He looks back down where Kyungsoo is now standing where Baekhyun used to be. He has his hands on his hips, eyebrows raised and lips pursued.

“Why can't you just stick to the rules?” Kyungsoo sighs. “Must you always be rebellious?”

“I'm a Beagle,” Baekhyun laughs. “It's what I do.”

Kyungsoo doesn't look amused, he keeps taking glances at the back to check if any professor is going to catch them. Baekhyun leans forward, his forearms on the hippogriff's back.

“Why don't you join me?” Baekhyun asks, eyes looking at Kyungsoo curiously.

“What?” Kyungsoo turns back, his eyes widened, giving an impression of a deer in the headlights.

“Sit here, behind me,” Baekhyun prepositions, scooting a bit forward on the hippogriff to allow space for Kyungsoo. “We can just take a ride on Astraea for a few minutes and fly back down. No big deal.”

“No big deal? We might die!” Kyungsoo almost shrieks, but he regains his composure, taking in deep breaths. He settles on glaring at Baekhyun instead.

“Astraea wouldn't drop us, I'm sure!” Baekhyun says, reassuringly, hoping.

Baekhyun can feel Kyungsoo's stare again, scrutinising him, trying to read him like a book he has never seen before on the shelves of a library. Baekhyun isn't a stranger to Kyungsoo's stares; he's often the target of it these days but the peculiar ones that make him feel all hot over despite having been the recipient of those stares a couple of times. It is like his body will never be accustomed to it, the feeling will always be there. He is always having a lump in his throat, Kyungsoo is always assessing him with his eyes. They are never on the same ground, always fighting for one spot. It's all game over till one is weak.

And Baekhyun will then realises that he's the weak one, always.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo says curtly before climbing up the hippogriff like Baekhyun did earlier. His heart falls to his stomach as Kyungsoo leans forward to place his hands on Baekhyun's thighs for safety.

I asked for this, Baekhyun gulps as he gingerly pets Astraea's mane, signalling the green light. The hippogriff whines happily, tilting her head backwards as both Baekhyun and Kyungsoo hold on for dear life. Kyungsoo holds on tighter than usual, his grip on Baekhyun's thighs is firm. The hippogriff kicks off before flapping her wings and ascending into the moonlight, huffing slightly from the weight of the two boys. Artemis flies slightly behind them, taking her freedom leisurely even if it's just for a few minutes. Kyungsoo leans his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder, his warmth radiating off him and Baekhyun leans on instinct to steal some of his warmth. The lump in his throat is tighter than usual, he almost can't breathe. I asked for this, I shouldn't be afraid to fall.

The hippogriff swoops downwards suddenly, almost scaring the living hell out of Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun stares at the scenery before him, his jaw slack from the beauty of Hogwarts in the night. The towers standing proudly to the bridges connecting buildings together to the flags raised up in the air, in pride of the four houses and its originators who made the school to the boy sitting behind him, seeing all of this alongside him.

He pets twice on Astraea's mane, whispering, “Let's go back.” The hippogriff makes a noise of understanding and swoops even lower to the ground, snaking through the Forbidden Forest. Her sister, Artemis, flies beside her and they both kick in the air before descending to the clear patch of grass where they were situated at. Artemis lands first, hitting the ground softly. Astraea is next, but she's more careful because of the two boys riding on her back.

Soon, Astraea's hooves are scraping the land as she tries to land safely for the sake of the company on her back. Baekhyun pats her, softly murmuring a 'good job'. He swings his other leg over and makes a smooth slide down Astraea's side. Kyungsoo stays, hands flat on her back, eyes glazed over in awe. His thumb is unconsciously rubbing the creases of Astraea's skin, a gentle smile falls on Baekhyun's lips as he watches the usual tough-looking boy donning a different expression other than the aloof look he wears all the time.

Baekhyun takes a step, two steps forward, a deep breath. His fingers reach out to brush Kyungsoo's wrist, he feels the latter shivers slightly from his touch and looks up at him with his eyes slightly widened.

“Need a hand?” Baekhyun inquires, an eyebrow raised, playfulness written all over his close-lipped smile. Kyungsoo contemplates the offer, heaves a sigh and eventually but finally accepts the hand, depending on what little strength Baekhyun has. Usually, Baekhyun is a strong person (despite what Jongdae says, never listen to that devil) but it is all drained from the grip Kyungsoo has on his hand and the imagery of his fingers wrapped around his.

Kyungsoo clears his throat, feet on the ground already. Baekhyun pulls his hand away immediately and slightly regretting it, craving for the feel of his fingers again. Just as the thought arrives, he casts it away with an imaginary wand in his mind. He doesn't need to revisit those thoughts right in front of the boy who has been dominating most of them. He doesn't have to think about it at all, there is nothing absolutely wrong with wanting to hold someone's hand, right? Baekhyun's all for the safety and it's pretty cold at night, colder when you're alone and he has been alone for quite a while.

“Thank you, ladies,” the sound of Kyungsoo's husky voice breaks through his reverie and he peers at Kyungsoo curiously while he bows low, back straight, facing the hippogriffs. The two majestic creatures acknowledge it and bow back, enunciating a short chuckle out of Kyungsoo. There's a smile on his face, so earnest, so pure, it sends a pang to Baekhyun's heart and he realises that, he wants to be the one who places that certain smile on his face. The moonlight is not only doing the hippogriffs justice by highlighting their striking, it is also shining on Kyungsoo's face. And when Kyungsoo swivels around to share that smile with Baekhyun, he can't help but look away before he begins to fall further.

Little does he know, his footing has left the ground and there is no magic to save him anymore.

⬖

For a second, Baekhyun could only see red.

The entire Gryffindor stand roars in victory, flags of the emblem raised high above and cheers break out in celebration of the outcome of the Quidditch match against Slytherin. Everyone is on their feet, howling and wearing their Gryffindor scarves proudly. Baekhyun could feel his smile almost tearing the ends of his mouth, he could feel his best friend, Jongdae, hugging him whilst jumping up and down, he could feel the claps on his back from fellow housemates. Baekhyun could feel the adrenaline in the air filling him up from head to toe, happiness pulling at the tips of his fingers as he waves his own individual Gryffindor flag over his head.

He drinks in the chants of his house name, smiling smugly, as he struts down to meet and congratulate the Quidditch team personally. Baekhyun sees Sehun first, worn out physically, with dirt spots tainting his pale, milky skin; a consequence of the arduous match a few minutes earlier. He is lugging his broomstick behind him when he catches Baekhyun's eye and his lips automatically twitch upwards to greet him.

Baekhyun skips forward, claps on Sehun's back gingerly, “Better luck next time.”

Sehun rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face isn't waning. “You only won because of Sojin noona. When she's gone next year, you're going to suffer.”

“No way,” Baekhyun laughs fondly. “Our house is filled with great candidates to fill her spot, you got to step up your game.”

Sehun opens his mouth to reply to that, probably with another empty jab at Gryffindor's pride but he is interrupted by a red haired Ravenclaw behind Baekhyun's shoulder, “Yah, Oh Sehun! Don't forget about our tuition session later! I'm not letting you off just because you lost a match, got it?”

Baekhyun peers, his eyes darting from Sehun and Soojung, and he catches Sehun's Adam apple bobbing as he nods timidly at her. He zeroes into Sehun's shyness, cocks an eyebrow and questions teasingly, “So Soojung and tuition huh?”

Sehun's eyes flit back to Baekhyun, redness dotting his cheeks, this time out of embarrassment. He mumbles out a “shut up, hyung” and hits him lightly on the elbow with the tip of his broomstick before turning away to look for his teammates.

“When will you stop teasing our little Sehun?” a familiar, raspy voice speaks and Baekhyun turns around to greet his best friend with a crushing hug. A wince leaves Chanyeol's lips at the sudden contact, but Baekhyun ignores it as he continues to wear him down with his tight hug.

“Let me go!” Chanyeol croaks out before Baekhyun pulls away with the most widest grin on his face. “You dimwit, my arms are sore!”

“I know,” Baekhyun replies, grin still intact. Chanyeol punches his arm but a grin, similar to his, begins to show on his face. Before he knows it, Chanyeol's grin is taking over his features; the usual madness in his eyes, the slight crinkles at the ends of his eyes. Baekhyun pokes him in the chest, “You did really great, out there,” and Chanyeol's grin grows wider if possible.

Baekhyun sees him before he approaches, his slightly smaller-than-him figure almost drowned out in the hoard of people. When he is within close proximity, a smile begins to blossom on his face out of nowhere and Baekhyun finds him hoping that it is because of him.

A clap on Chanyeol's back, he jerks suddenly and cranes his neck around to see Kyungsoo congratulating him. The grin is back on Chanyeol's face, but softer, less wilder than before.

“I can't believe you did the flick,” Kyungsoo comments, dropping his hand from Chanyeol's back.

“I told you, I've mastered it well.”

Baekhyun feels like he's intruding on something, an uncomfortable feeling creeps up his chest, locking itself in there. He refuses to acknowledge it; refuses to read into it. Instead, he rubs the back of his neck, feeling a slight awkwardness in the air when he inquires, “The flick?”

Chanyeol's eyes search his, knowing him well, Baekhyun's sure he's trying to read into his thoughts, breach into his mind like always. Before, he would appreciate the gesture like a best friend but now, he is closing the gateway to his mind, hardening his eyes a bit, masking anything that would give him away.

“Yeah, the Finbourgh Flick. It's a well practised move by Chasers,” Kyungsoo answers, when Chanyeol doesn't pipe up as usual. His stare is different from Chanyeol; it is purposeless and leaves Baekhyun windless, it is him searching for the answers instead.

He nods his head, pretending to understand when in reality, he is unlike his best friends who follow Quidditch news. It is not that he doesn't appreciate the sport, he has the time of his life watching them and that is all he can offer to the sport; support.

Chanyeol breaks the silence of a few seconds with an excuse that he needs to gather the team again before heading out of the pitch; it is probably for a promise of a celebration or a fueled up speech about their victory, either way, it is a tradition. Thus, he leaves Baekhyun teetering on the heels of his shoes and Kyungsoo's stare burning down his body.

He clears his throat, “So... you're a fanatic?”

Kyungsoo's smile is no longer visible, but the coldness has disappeared; it's neutral, Baekhyun thinks, he can deal with that better than the unfriendliness. Kyungsoo scratches the back of his neck with a finger idly, “Yeah, Chanyeol and I have always discussed about Quidditch since we were little. I was a Seeker back in Durmstrang.”

Baekhyun notices a certain glint in Kyungsoo's eyes at the mention of his childhood; something like nostalgia. He wants to reach out with his fingers against the delicate skin of Kyungsoo, maybe ease the feeling of sentimentality in his heart because he has been there too a few times and even though Chanyeol may be there to listen to the tales in his mind, but no one was there to wipe the tears from Baekhyun's cheeks as he gazes slightly too long at a picture frame in his hands.

Instead of brushing skin on skin, he goes for tugging on Kyungsoo's green scarf. He fixes the ends of the scarf, ensuring the balance and dusting lint off the soft fabric. He can feel Kyungsoo's poring eyes on him when he keeps his hand on one end of the scarf, constantly rubbing the fabric with his thumb. He withers for a second before inhaling, once, twice and he braves himself to look back at Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun finds the smile he has been searching for, he regains his footing for now and it's a hell lot better than flying.

⬖

“Isn't the air fresher, out here?” Baekhyun exclaims, spreading his arms wide. The wind jostles Baekhyun's bangs a bit, sending them into his line of vision. His words are almost drowned by the commotion of fourth years running around the courtyard, playing chase-and-hex. Baekhyun's thoughts are threatened to plunge into a flashback of his younger self sitting near the clock tower, basking in the shadows of the castle, with his head dipped low into a book. The loneliness threatens to return, but he chances a look at Kyungsoo, who is standing a few inches away, taking a glimpse around the countyard and his heart eases just a tad bit.

But it still weighs heavy from the feelings he has been locking away.

“You brought me out here, just for this?” Kyungsoo makes a 'tsk' sound at the back of his throat, lower than usual. “I thought Hogwarts had more to offer.”

Baekhyun cackles, his arms dropping to his sides. He had coaxed Kyungsoo out of the safety of the library with a promise of showing him 'something he will not regret'. The first thought in mind was the view of the plains beyond Hogwarts from the Astronomy Tower but he figures he should save it for later, a much more special occassion other than bringing Kyungsoo out of his comfort zone. He, then, decides on the courtyard where the wind isn't too gentle, isn't too harsh and the cold isn't too bent on crippling your bones. The sun is hanging low, its rays lazily pouring over the creaks and planes of the castle; making it look older and a bit more menacing. Baekhyun likes the view of the castle that way, especially when it's a familiarity to him since he was younger and naive.

He likes to believe that the naivety has faded, but as he finds his heart skipping a beat and his lips pulling upwards in an easy smile at the sight of Kyungsoo giving him that smile, he guesses that he is not that much changed from his younger self.

“Shut up, Durmstrang boy,” something flares in Kyungsoo's eyes but Baekhyun continues, ignoring his heart for once. “There are so many beauties in this school, you'll have to earn the privilege of seeing them.”

“And who's the judge of that?” Kyungsoo scoffs. “You?”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath, one, two, three and he jumps. “Maybe it is not so bad as you think, I'm a fair and good judge.”

When Kyungsoo doesn't answer, he waits. His patience may be wearing thin but Kyungsoo has his attention, always keeps it in the palm of his hand. Baekhyun licks his lips; they are dry like the inside of his throat and he catches Kyungsoo focusing on the action of his tongue swiping against his bottom lip. His throat goes dry again, and he doesn't have the strength to clear his throat, he doesn't even have the strength to look away.

“Could you imagine Chanyeol as a judge?” Baekhyun forces himself to speak, to laugh. “He'll be so biased towards you, the same goes for Jongdae.”

Kyungsoo finally, finally tears his eyes away from his wet lips and changes the direction of his gaze to the greenery behind Baekhyun. Just before he speak, he looks at Baekhyun right in the eye, “What makes you think you wouldn't be biased towards me?”

In all of the times they have spent together in the last two weeks since they have met, this shouldn't be a surprise to Baekhyun; this tone of playfulness as it seems that Kyungsoo knows how to pull a few strings, tease at his most sensitive spots. He guess, it's something you'll develop or learn when you are friends with someone like Chanyeol but it's different for Kyungsoo; his words hold a different kind of meaning to Baekhyun and he, to this day, cannot figure out what it is. Hence, they play a game of tugging and only pulling till the other has to relent and give in or play dirty and push the other until he falls. Baekhyun doesn't know how to play dirty, maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, maybe he just wants to be the one who falls headfirst at the hands of Do Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun's voice is faint, “I don't think, I know.” It is definitely drowned out by the fourth years in the background this time but he knows, by the hint of a smirk on Kyungsoo's face, that he heard Baekhyun's lie.

“Anyway,” Kyungsoo says, skimming the courtyard with interest. “What do you do here?”

“Nothing,” Baekhyun fingers the heel of his wand in his pocket, he needs a distraction. “I read here sometimes for the quietness.”

Kyungsoo lets out a snort at the thought of Baekhyun seeking a quiet environment. “You and quiet? Never thought those two words would be in a sentence together,” His laugh washes over his sentence, resonating and clear in Baekhyun's ears. “The courtyard isn't that quiet, though.”

A small smile forms on Baekhyun's lips, it is about to tip over but he has control. “Sometimes you find peace in noise, you know?”

“How wise of you, Byun,” Kyungsoo muses. “Never peg you as the type.” He steps forward, keeps taking little risks by closing the distance between them. Baekhyun has to refrain himself from moving backwards till there is an indubitable, safe distance between them. Kyungsoo stops directly in front of Baekhyun, a mere two inches away from him. Baekhyun can see the cracks on Kyungsoo's lips, the red, little pimple on his forehead, the pores on his cheeks, the short eyelashes framing his doe eyes.

This is why Baekhyun treasures the distance between them. With so many steps between them, he has no issues of finding a distraction but with just two inches, he has a problem with Kyungsoo's lips; they are luring him in, attracting his eyes to the plumpness of his lips, making him wonder of the promises Kyungsoo has said with those lips, makes him wonder of the kisses Kyungsoo has stolen or sneaked from–

No, Baekhyun can't allow himself to wander down that path and bring upon a wave of emotions in his heart. There are too many thoughts regarding this boy in his head and the last thing he wants is to ponder on the possible love stories Kyungsoo has lived in. Baekhyun has a lot of other important things to think about such as the N.E.W.T.S and new plans for the Beagles to strike again. There is no room for a Do Kyungsoo and yet, he is pushing and pushing all the others away from his mind.

And Baekhyun lets, he lets and he gives in because he doesn't know what else to do. Maybe, he doesn't want anything else than this.

“You said you needed some help on your revision?” Baekhyun blinks, his mind cycling back to reality, to the boy in front of him. He attempts to will the blush away from his cheeks, he hopes Kyungsoo would interpret it as a sign of humidity.

Kyungsoo leers, daring. “You didn't really think we would be out here to laze around, did you?”

Baekhyun inhales, and his nose catches on a minty scent; courtesy of Kyungsoo. He lets his senses be indulged in the spiciness of Kyungsoo's signature scent. “Um, can we just sit down and talk?”

Kyungsoo sends a punch straight to his ribcage, a little hard but teasingly nonetheless. “No, we are going to study. Accio your books.”

He watches as Kyungsoo finds a patch of greenery to study on. He settles on one hidden in the shadow of the glowering clock tower and it is almost funny how Kyungsoo knows all of his preferences without even asking. It brings Baekhyun right to the impression he had of Kyungsoo in the Great Hall on the first day they met. It makes him wonder, just how similar they are despite their contrasting personalities at first glance.

He mutters a spell under his breath, a flick of his wand and the books arrive almost right at that second. Baekhyun carries them to the spot Kyungsoo has picked, sitting opposite of him, facing the sun. He still feels the pain tingling from Kyungsoo's punch, he feels the sun glaring at him but nothing really beats the slow smile blossoming on Kyungsoo's lips at Baekhyun.

“Focus, Baekhyun,” he says in a commanding voice and pokes the tip of Baekhyun's nose with his index finger. He is pulled in once again, with all of his defenses failing and his barrier falling down.

⬖

His head hits the juncture of Chanyeol's clavicles, nestling there. Baekhyun lets out a yawn, shamelessly widening his mouth without covering it. He slumps against Chanyeol's taller frame, feeling the fatigue in his bones. Baekhyun pretends to listen to Professor Kwon drone on and on about homework for the weekend, (“There are no excuses, class! Your N.E.W.T.S are more important than playtime!”). Chanyeol's arm snakes around his shoulder, rubbing a sore point on his skin where his neck meets his shoulder. Baekhyun rolls his shoulder backwards, feeling his bones cracking with every move.

But what is really tired out of his tendency to overthink is his mind; it's filled with too many inquiries about a certain boy he hasn't gotten the knack of getting to know better. Even though, he is almost spending his every waking moment with Kyungsoo, Baekhyun hasn't really found a way to crack through his walls. It seems like the doe-eyed boy has ten walls put up and the foundation is really strong that Baekhyun can't do anything except to wait for him to grant him access through those walls. Not that Baekhyun blames him, as he has his own walls, only that they are not cemented, they are a bit easy to knock over. It really comes with the fact that he is a Beagle, or else...

Or else, he'd be exactly like Kyungsoo. Avoiding and hiding in his own shadows.

“Hey, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol hums, in answer. Eyes fixated on the Professor, ears perked up to gather knowledge.

“Why does Kyungsoo act that way?”

The question gets Chanyeol's attention as he turns his head to consider Baekhyun's sudden curiousity about his childhood best friend. Baekhyun has been beating his own mind over these questions and his inquisitive instinct is taking over; he wants to know, he wants to understand Kyungsoo. He keeps seeing Kyungsoo in his own world; eyes staring off into a distance, sometimes fixated on a group of people huddled together, sometimes fixated on nothing in particular. Whenever Baekhyun brings him back to the reality, to them, Kyungsoo usually brushes off his questions with an excuse like tiredness or boredom or “I'm just really fucking sick of reading and reading books, leave me alone, I want to daydream, Byun.”

Kyungsoo seems to have so many thoughts in his mind and Baekhyun... he wants to read them like a diary. If it's a worry, he wants to help. If it's trouble, he wants to advise. If it's sadness, he wants to console. If it's happiness, he wants some of it too. Baekhyun wants, wants and he wants so much.

“What way?” Chanyeol regards him with a perplexed expression. “His silence? His threats? What is it?”

“No...” Baekhyun's voice trails off, both of them have forgotten about Charms class. It has never been Baekhyun's favourite anyway. “Why is Kyungsoo so reserved? Is it because he's from Durmstrang? Are all Durmstrang boys like that?”

Chanyeol's face softens, Baekhyun can see him biting the inside of his cheek. He's hesitating, thinking, contemplating whether Baekhyun is worthy of knowing his best friend in the light he knows him in.

Baekhyun hopes he is worthy.

“It's more in the reason why he transferred to here, Baek,” Chanyeol tries to explain in a tender voice. “It'll be easier if you ask him directly.”

Baekhyun protests, “What makes you think he would tell me?”

A smile spreads slow at first, increasing its speed, into a huge grin; Chanyeol's signature smile. It's a smile he throws easily at everyone, a crazed smile filled with canines on show. What differentiates it from the smile he's displaying to Baekhyun is the honesty brewing on those lips. And the honesty ebbs into the words he says reassuringly, “Oh, I don't think. I know he will.”

There is a wicked gleam in Chanyeol's eyes; something that Baekhyun is used to seeing but right now, he's not used to it being the cause of him and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun pretends, or he tries to, that he didn't hear what Chanyeol said and pays attention to the class happening in front of him. He begins making dog ears on pages he needs to look at for reference later, in order to complete the mounting Charms homework Professor Kwon has loaded on her class. Through out the last five minutes of class, he can feel Chanyeol's eyes on the back of his head, prying him open, assessing his insides, searching for the answers he wants.

But Chanyeol would find none as Baekhyun's head is only filled with questions about Do Kyungsoo.

“I don't understand,” Baekhyun pipes up now, as everyone else scramble out of Charms classroom to their next schedule. Baekhyun stays where he is, hugging the books to his chest. His eyes are on the ground, where he can see the difference between Chanyeol's shoes and his. He knows Chanyeol too well that he's sure he is donning another confused expression.

Chanyeol tugs on Baekhyun's sleeve, making him to jerk and look up. He says nothing, merely mindlessly pulling Baekhyun out of the class room, pulling them into the throng of other wizards finding their classes. The noise of chatter almost, almost takes over the voices in Baekhyun's head. The both of them amble slowly, with leisure now that their classes have ended for the day, to the Gryffindor Tower. They pass students rushing and running to their destinations, they pass professors and they bow in respect to them. At this point, Baekhyun has forgotten about what he said before, his mind now clear as liquid.

When they are nearing their house tower, Chanyeol suddenly stops, causing Baekhyun to stutter in his steps and look back, and says in a small voice, “I don't understand you and Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun tilts his head to the left to peruse at Chanyeol; his face is in deep thought, there's a crease on his forehead, his lips are slightly pursued. He continues, without sparing Baekhyun a single glance, “You spend so much time with him now, he is almost like a part of the Beagles except he isn't.”

That is when Chanyeol finally flits his eyes upwards to study Baekhyun's face, his eyes poring into his with such intensity Baekhyun wants to cower and avoid them. “Because you keep him to yourself.”

It takes a few seconds for the words to register, to sink in. Baekhyun almost protests, he wants to defend himself by saying that hey I don't keep him to myself, I'm just comfortable with him alone but then he realises that it's not worth it. It's not worth saying such words and lie to Chanyeol's face.

“What are you trying to say? That you're jealous?” Even when Baekhyun says those words, he knows that it isn't the case, it isn't why Chanyeol brought it up. He knows, but it is so difficult for him to accept it.

“No, for Merlin's sake, Byun Baekhyun,” Chanyeol rubs at his cheek, frustratingly. Baekhyun's thinking, don't say it, don't say it, Park Chanyeol, don't even say it. “I don't understand why is it so hard for you to accept your feelings for Kyungsoo? Jongdae knows, I know.”

Baekhyun's eyes flutter close for a brief second, he isn't prepared to face this right now. He is meeting Kyungsoo in an hour for another one of their typical study sessions and he doesn't want to walk into the library, with a revelation that would maybe further ruin his perception of Kyungsoo and makes him see Kyungsoo in a whole different light. He doesn't want to ruin what they are having, he's content with what they have.

“What are you so afraid of?” Chanyeol whispers, so softly, it could have been carried with the winter wind but Baekhyun has been paying attention this time.

“You don't understand,” Baekhyun replies, sighing and casting his eyes downwards. He turns in another direction, leaving Chanyeol there, leaving their conversation. He's running away again, his heart is beating a little too fast at the words Chanyeol has said.

What are you so afraid of? He inhales deeply, the air tickling his nostrils, his feet taking brisk steps. Baekhyun's hand is on the heel of his wand, the other ruffling his hair, tugging on some of his strands to feel the pull of its roots.

“What are you so afraid?” she said, as she rubs soothing circles on Baekhyun's back. His ten year old self looked at her, eyes huge and lips pulled down slightly in a pout.

“But umma, I can't make new friends!”

“Of course you can, my little Baek,” she smiled, profoundly at the ten year old boy sitting across her. “You're friendlier than most people, you're braver.”

What are you so afraid of? His back slides down the toilet stall, head hitting the wall as it's thrown back against it. There are doodles painting the walls, there is a trickling of water in the background, but mostly there is silence and just him in the washroom. There are too many memories, too many flashbacks for him to dive in. He closes his eyes, breathing in the signature pungent smell of the washroom. He's usually more courageous than this, he's usually more stronger.

But his heart is weak, his mind is exhausted. He's worn out.

There are too many ghosts, too many of them to count, visiting from his unforgettable past. There are too many ghosts, too many of them to count, taking refuge in his heart and wrapping around his fist sized heart. There are too many ghosts, and Baekhyun ... he isn't brave enough to say hello.

part 2