#3: Maybe, It's Love

[exolliarmus]

 ►username: anonymous
►prompt #: 3
►title: Maybe It's Love
►pairings: Chen/Xiumin, onesided!Chen/Lay, (mentions of) Lay/Luhan
►rating: PG-13
►word count: 9188
►warnings: gross amounts of cheese and fluff + Jongdae is super dense
►summary: Jongdae confuses admiration and love, but it doesn't matter because he just wants to impress Yixing and win him over, and Minseok helps.
►author's notes: It's probably not what you expected, but I hope I did your prompt justice! Xiuchen is my otp so I'm really glad I got to write about them ^^ btw, if it looks like a pun, it probably is a pun. Not as focused on the hp universe as I would've liked but I hope you still like it!!!!

There’s something so… soothing about the old bookshop.

The heavy scent of musty old books dances across Jongdae’s nose, the soft summer breeze coming in through the open door runs up his arms in a fresh gentle caress, and the continuous buzz comes from the hushed voices that cling to the air like thick fog on a cool autumn day, sweeping past the shelves with long elegant arms and wrapping themselves around his ears like a warm and soft scarf. Everything about the shop hugs his senses with such tender loving care that he lets out a deep breath, a soft smile playing across his lips.

Running his fingers across the old spines, Jongdae hums to himself happily. WIthout his friends to distract him (read: mock), he can finally track down that 5th volume of Everything A Wizard/Witch Needs To Know About Dragons, and where else should he search than at Tomes and Scrolls?

It’s calm, it’s quiet, it’s peaceful, and he loves it.

Aaaaaaaand it doesn’t last. With his luck, of course it wouldn’t last. Just this morning he lost his favourite socks and had to settle for a pair that was two sizes too small. So of fucking course that peace is disturbed, because standing a metre away from him is the most gorgeous Gryffindor student Jongdae knows. A body to rival the Greek gods, skin as smooth and as clear as a still lake on a summer’s day, hair softer than a rose petal (not that Jongdae would know but he can always imagine), glossier than silk, blacker than the night— there’s so much beauty to drink in that it smacks Jongdae in the face like a brick wall and his knees almost collapse beneath him, although that might also be his friends’ telepathic doing because he’s really sappy poet.

But thankfully, his knees don’t. Because Jongdae’s used to facing gorgeous people over the past year. Actually, just singular. He’s used to facing one gorgeous person in particular, and no one, absolutely no one can compare to Yixing, pfft, of course not, it’s just one beautiful person he’s come across frequently, just one— but here is this Gryffindor who is making Jongdae Very Uncomfortable just by existing. So even if he isn’t actually going to fall, his knees aren’t exactly as stable as he wishes they were. Why so wobbly?

Naturally, Jongdae’s first instinct is to flee. Public speaking? Hide. Big social gathering? Hide. Feeling nervous in the slightest? H I D E. It’s his motto, one he really wants to live by because it’s the safe option, but his friends are arseholes who’d rather use him as a human shield than anything else, but today, he can’t even if his supposed friends aren’t here, and no, it’s not because Jongdae is openly drooling over the other student’s toned and smooth arms, or the fact that he thinks he recognises the student. No. What stops Jongdae is the book the student is holding.

The 5th volume of Everything A Wizard/Witch Needs To Know About Dragons.

Of course. Of fucking course. It’s impossible to miss, with its fiery red spine and curvy gold script, and by the looks of it, the copy between a pair of elegant pale hands is the last one. Yup. Jongdae doesn’t even need Felix Felicis for this amazing luck. He must’ve been born with it.

Thing is, Jongdae is desperate to read that book. Like Really Desperate. Almost My-Whole-Life-Depends-On-It Desperate. Well, not his whole life, just his whole fucking career. And there are no copies at Hogwarts. He’s checked. Twice.

Jongdae hopes that justifies what happens next.

Gathering all of the measly scraps of courage he can muster, he taps the student’s shoulder lightly. And gulps as the student looks up with intense eyes. There’s a deadly power in his gaze that has Jongdae cowering in fear, and a sense of majesty, a majesty so strong and intimidating he can only stare back in awe at these eyes, these tapestries of millions and millions of stars against dark earthy rubble. Jongdae has never appreciated brown eyes as much as he does in this moment, these brown eyes that glisten like an ocean of shards under a clear moonlit sky.

‘Um, hi.’ He flashes a tentative smile, but inside groans. It’s all teeth and his lips are stretching weirdly in all directions and he must look so awkward right now. But he brushes it off because he’s on a mission. Technically, two, but he’s forgotten what the second one is, so anyway, it can’t be that important.

‘H-Hi.’ The stutter sort of reassures him because it’s always comforting to know he’s not the only nervous one, and it’s kinda cute how the other Gryffindor’s cheeks have gone slightly pink, but he especially likes that the student smiles back, and it’s a smile brighter than the sun itself that warms him to the bone. A few flitting thoughts remind him that the Gryffindor is in the year above.

‘I, um, Minseok, right?’ Nod. ‘I’m Jongdae. 5th year. Uh. That book. The one you’re holding. Can I borrow— Wait, are you, um, are you going to buy it?’ He cheers silently at his coherent(ish) sentences and the absence of stammering, but he hates how his tongue feels so heavy and out-of-place in his mouth, and how his heart is beating so loudly he’s sure Minseok can hear it. Damn pretty people and their effect on him.

‘Oh this one? I don’t know yet. Why? Do you want it?’ (Vaguely, Jongdae thinks he might be from North London, judging by the telltale skipping of his ‘t’s.) Minseok peers over at him with genuine curiosity scrawled across his face, and his voice washes over Jongdae like a summer breeze: low, airy and warm. It has the flustered Gryffindor student nearly slapping himself to make sure his next sentence is perfectly clear, and not at all sheepish or timid or abashed. And preferably more than one or two syllables.

‘Um… Yeah.’ NAILED IT.

Minseok’s face blooms into a shy beam and he says with a gentle tone, ‘Here, take it.’ Jongdae’s throat goes dry as he tries to hold in a strangled cry, because bloody hell when his eyes soften, Minseok’s smile is even prettier.

Instead, Jongdae’s eyebrows go up in surprise. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah. I already know most of this stuff anyways. Take it.’

‘I… Thank you. So much! Wow. I. Thanks. Really.’

And it’s then that Jongdae thinks he’s definitely going to collapse this time, probably from a heart attack, because Minseok laughs. He laughs, and it’s from genuine amusement, and it’s kind, and it’s mellow, and it’s melodious, like the twinkling of wind chimes. ‘I feel like I’m handing you the Order of Merlin.’

Jongdae blushes before his face breaks into an ear-splitting grin. ‘It does feel like it! I’m honoured.’

‘Good. This book is going to someone who’ll like it. That’s good.’

‘Yeah. It is.’

And it’s nice, Jongdae thinks, to stand there sending each other shy glances, back and forth and back and forth, and it’s a comfortable silence too.

But it’s shattered like a mirror by a sledgehammer, into tiny tiny shards, when Minseok suddenly speaks up, sounding rushed and on edge. ‘I should go, it was nice meeting you, see you around!’ It feels like a too-abrupt end to their conversation but Minseok is out the door with a shy wave before Jongdae can even open his mouth.

He’s left standing in the middle of Tomes and Scrolls looking a little lost and holding an almost blindingly bright red book, as the only thought running through his mind is how pretty Minseok is and how he disappeared so quickly. It’s strange that he feels a little breathless, but he can’t stop the giddy smile that threatens to break his face in half.

He leaves the shop feeling the lightest he’s felt in a long time, and he welcomes it with open arms.

It’s within the old walls of the Hog’s Head that Jongdae remembers that his second mission was very, very, very important, but he must’ve failed it miserably because for the life of him he can’t or maybe doesn’t want to remember what it was.

He’s reminded of its importance when he’s greeted by the sight of his three best friends observing him acutely, waiting, waiting, waiting, and he freezes as panic hits him like he ran into a glass door. As the more alert part of his brain screams, ‘SHIT SHIT SHIT,’ the other part casually notices that his best friends really share an uncanny resemblance with puppies: those big unblinking expectant eyes are probably why they’re dubbed the Beagle Line, even though their love for pranks is probably the main reason.

‘Well?’ Kyungsoo asks, sort of impatiently if you ask Jongdae. His wide eyes make him look innocent but Jongdae knows the truth, knows that he’s probably Lord Voldemort back from the dead and in disguise (again), and he shrinks under the scrutinising gaze. ‘Is he your boyfriend or not?’

He is Yixing. The supposedly most gorgeous person Jongdae has ever had the honour of meeting. Zhang Yixing, or Lay, Hufflepuff’s Quidditch Captain and Hogwarts’ current best Beater, but that’s ironic because he is the gentlest soul anyone could ever come across (although Junmyeon, a 6th year Ravenclaw, is a close second).

He is also drool-worthy gorgeous, with skin so smooth and pale it reminds Jongdae of the delicate petals of a white rose, lips so plump, so pink, so kissable, and hair as silver as the moon, falling over his forehead in soft waves like a starlit waterfall.

In case all the sappy descriptions weren’t obvious enough, Yixing happens to be Jongdae’s crush, whom Jongdae was supposed to ask out today. But he forgot. Why the fuck— How the fuck he forgot is an absolute mystery that’s baffling him, considering he’s liked him for so long that forgetting makes as much sense as Chanyeol studying for a test. None. It makes no sense at all.

But Jongdae realises that doesn’t matter, because his friends are burning holes into him with their almost-glares, and it’s making him uncomfortable.

‘Um. No...’

He sort of wants to run away when he sees Chanyeol’s Rolling Eyes, Kyungsoo’s Look of Exasperation, and Baekhyun’s famous Flaring Nostrils.

‘What do you mean “no”?’ Baekhyun says through clenched teeth, his eyes fluttering wildly as he shoots Jongdae a sickeningly sweet and fake smile.

‘I… uh… Well… You see...’ If he tells the truth, he’s going to get killed like a lamb to the slaughter.

Cue Kyungsoo’s Eyebrow Raise. ‘Yes?’

‘Yixing is really hot,’ Jongdae blurts out, ready to bullshit his way out of this mess. ‘Like really hot. And I’m awkward. And scared by his… hotness level. I can’t talk around him without stuttering. Yeah.’

Chanyeol guffaws. ‘You said that last time.’

Jongdae lets out a squawk of protest. ‘But it’s true! Plus he has a really killer smile. Catches me off-guard every time! He has dimples! What am I supposed to do?’

‘Ask him out,’ his three best friends chorus, staring at him pointedly.

‘But I can’t.’

‘Yes,’ Baekhyun says dryly, looking peeved at Jongdae’s feeble attempts at arguments, ‘we’ve noticed. I mean you have tried to ask him out five times. This week.’

‘Keyword being tried! It’s not the winning that counts, it’s the taking part that matters.’

‘I call bullshit!’ Kyungsoo exclaims happily.

‘He’s right, you know. Those are some really pathetic excuses,’ Baekhyun mutters, his usual lilt sounding more like rumbling thunder than a soft lullaby. ‘Really pathetic.’

‘But valid?’ Jongdae says weakly. An angry Baekhyun is a rare sight, and Jongdae has no bloody clue as to how to handle it. Clearly, though, it must be entertaining judging by the way his two other best friends are doing to their best to hide their smugly amused grins from their seats.

‘No, not valid. Not valid at all,’ Baekhyun all but seethes, and angrily jabs a finger at Jongdae’s chest. ‘You’ve liked this boy since you came to Hogwarts (jab) and while I’m so proud of you (jab) for finally admitting it and deciding to ask him out (jab), I’m also a wee bit… pissed off, because you (jab) chickened (jab) out (jab) yet again (punch).’

Jongdae yelps, sending his friend a glare as he rubs his chest. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo snicker, the nerve of those little shits.

‘Oh boo hoo, hurts like a bitch, whatever!’ Baekhyun runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, before looking at Jongdae with tired eyes and shaking his head. ‘That boy,’ he starts firmly, ‘makes you incredibly happy. Why would you stop yourself from being happier?’

Jongdae swallows thickly, not ever breaking eye contact with his friend, and replies in a small voice, ‘I’m, um, really scared, and uh, I actually, kind of, sort of, forgot.’

Chanyeol slaps his forehead. ‘What did you forget, exactly?’

‘...To ask him out.’

Kyungsoo inhales sharply as Baekhyun breathes out, ‘Congratulations on your skills.’

Jongdae smiles sheepishly, scratching his neck and looking anywhere but at his friends.

Chanyeol sighs dramatically. ‘Luckily, we have a plan B.’

At this, Jongdae tilts his head, slightly confused, but his awkwardly curved lips never falter. ‘What is it?’ he asks, 5% sure that he can handle whatever they throw at him, 95% sure they want to kill him.

‘The nyoomy nyoom nyoom thing...’ His friend snaps his fingers, his face twisting into a sadistic and shit-eating grin. ‘Right. Quidditch lessons.’ The smile drops from Jongdae’s face in two seconds flat.

It's funny, right? That he's in this situation.

Kim Jongdae, known for his fear of heights, is falling from his broom hovering at least twenty feet off the ground.

He doesn't know what's worse: how he can feel his impending doom, thanks to the wind rushing, whistling, taunting him in his ears, and his erratic heart hammering in his chest like it's about to run away and leave his corpse to slam into the ground running, dead before the grass can even tickle his skin, or how his limbs are so helpless to support him, so weak without anything to hold onto, so limp to the point that all his energy and tension have pooled in his throat as a dry, thick lump.

He's skipped stages one and two of fear (realisation and screaming) and gone straight to the part where he cries and cries and cries. His salty tears don't have time to cling to his lashes before they disappear into the air above him as he is forced to wait for the agonising impact, eyes tightly shut.

His worst nightmare is coming true, so please, just get it over and done with, please, be over now, plea-

He gasps as his eyes jolt open: his body has suddenly lurched to an abrupt halt.

The sight of the pale blue summer sky and sunny bright rays greets him, but a shadow creeps over his frozen body and a familiar voice murmurs, 'I'm going to drop you now.'

Before he can react, Jongdae lands on the ground with a gentle thump, but it doesn't hurt because he must've been hovering an inch or two above the ground, and he releases a deep breath he'd been holding in for too long.

'We'll meet same time tomorrow,' the shadow says to the other players on the field before crouching down next to Jongdae, who finally recognises the other as Minseok. 'Don't get up just yet, okay? Wait until you stop trembling at least.'

At that, he frowns, trying to get up. 'I'm trembl-' He collapses. 'Oh. I'm trembling.'

Minseok hums. 'You're in shock from the fall. It's normal.'

Jongdae wants so scream that falling from that high up isn't normal. It's actually really very abnormal and -10/10 would recommend, but he knows that Minseok was talking about the shock, not the fall, so he says nothing.

They stay in silence for a small while where Jongdae focuses on breathing and not hyperventilating. It's easy, though, because Minseok isn't staring at him with pity or disgust, it’s more like genuine worry, and there's a tinkling gentle summer breeze that soothes Jongdae's racing pulse, and eventually he manages to stammer out, 'How did you- How did I stop falling?'

'Protection bubble spell.'

'That exists?'

Minseok shrugs, a wry smile playing on his lips. 'Not in books, but it's an easy spell to invent.'

Jongdae looks up at him with wide eyes. 'Invent?'

Minseok lets out a soft laugh.  'Yes, invent. My friend's dad is a spell inventor. I didn't come up with it.'

'Oh.'

Minseok smiles but it's not teasing or mean or snarky in any way, it's quite friendly, actually, a smile that says 'I understand, I would've thought the same', and it sort of surprises Jongdae how warm it makes him feel inside. Although, when the other Gryffindor lies down beside him, Minseok's hand brushes his and the spark of electricity that shoots up his arm is even more shocking. (It’s a welcome feeling even if he doesn't really know what it means.)

'Can I just -' Minseok starts tentatively, looking away when Jongdae turns to him. 'Can I just ask why you joined this course?' Oh yeah. Jongdae had forgotten that he came here to learn Quidditch. 'It's just that you're obviously scared of heights.'

'I um, uh, I, uh... I just wanted to get over my fear, I think.'

Minseok seems unconvinced, his eyebrows scrunched and his left one raised, but he says nothing, letting the peace sink back in.

Jongdae doesn't actually want to learn how to play Quidditch, nor does he want to get over his fear of heights (avoid it would be more accurate), and although having Minseok, the gorgeous Gryffindor student from Tomes and Scrolls, made Jongdae go 'aSDffGgHhhjjkkll', his only motivation to join this class is too embarrassing to tell anyone other than his friends. Because yeah, his lil' crush on Yixing really isn't as little as he claims.

'Is it super important to you?'

Jongdae nods vigorously. 'Yes.'

'Do you... want me to teach you? I mean, not in a group? Just you. Would that be, uh, helpful?' The request shocks Jongdae but he agrees without hesitating because if it means getting closer to his goal, more efficiently and faster too, then why the hell not.

On top of that, Minseok sends him another of those blinding smiles that has Jongdae's pulse racing even faster than when he fell.

(When he tells his squad (now scattered across the world for their holidays), they send him weird winky smiley faces that make him question his life decisions and leave him confused.

Especially that one message from Chanyeol with lots of '!!!' and ':DDDD' about 'ff that go notp to otp' and 'submarine ships' which doesn't make sense in itself, but Chanyeol has weird internet humour that only Baekhyun understands because they're best friends and Jongdae is an innocent cinnamon roll.

But whatever, because Jongdae has a certain Zhang Yixing to win over.)

Meeting Minseok every day is exhausting at first, but it’s worth it when after the first two weeks, Jongdae is flying leisurely enough across the pitch and knows all the basic moves like flying, scoring, flying, avoiding Bludgers, flying. Once he knows that he won’t die if he falls again, he discovers that Quidditch is actually… fun to play.

So far he’s been learning from a Chaser’s perspective (because it turns out that Minseok is currently Gryffindor’s best Chaser, which is pretty cool if you ask Jongdae) and his teacher has promised to finally move onto actually defending himself from incoming Bludgers.

Which is supposed to be today’s lesson.

But it’s already ten minutes past their meeting time and there’s no sign of Minseok, which sucks. And Jongdae feels a bit lost, not really knowing how to react. So he sets down Chanyeol’s broom on the ground by the entrance (because he sold his broom after his first year) and sits on the grass.

‘I guess I’ll just keep waiting,’ he mumbles.

Minseok does eventually turn up five minutes later with his broom (and is that the 5th volume of Everything A Wizard/Witch Needs To Know About Dragons?), but he’s covered in tiny scratches, while his Quidditch clothes have been hastily thrown on, with dishevelled and singed (?) hair. It’s all very peculiar.

‘Sorry!’ he squeaks, panting to catch his breath. ‘I got a little bit caught up in some nasty blackberry bushes.’

‘Um.’ Jongdae blinks as he tries not to stare at the burnt strands of hair. ‘That- That doesn’t explain the hair.’

Minseok freezes, lets out a nervous laugh, and, while avoiding Jongdae's gaze, says, 'I don't know what you're talking about...'

'You're a terrible liar,' Jongdae deadpans, ‘but if you don’t want to tell me it’s okay.’

‘I’m not lying!’ Minseok protests weakly, but his voice trails off when he sees Jongdae’s raised eyebrows. He sighs. ‘Okay, fine, I am lying, but it’s not a big deal that I’m late, is it? I mean you’re already at a decent level for a beginner. We don’t even have to meet up as regularly.’

‘Yeah but...’ Jongdae starts, fiddling with the hem of his top. ‘But I need to get better,’ he says, then blushes. He’s only realising now how embarrassing his true motives are and he feels ashamed to tell Minseok.

At this Minseok stops and stares at him with confused eyes and furrowed brows. ‘Why…?’ Then, ‘Wait, do you want to join the team?’ It’s Jongdae’s turn to be confused, and starts to shake his head just as he realises that this would be the perfect cover up. But it’s too late for that. ‘If it’s not for the team, can you tell me why you need to get better?’

Minseok’s tone isn’t malicious in any way, his confusion is genuine, and Jongdae reminds himself of that as he debates whether to tell the truth or not. Minseok can be trusted, right? He’s only ever been kind and understanding, right? Jongdae can tell him, right?

‘I, um… I want to impress Yixing,’ he mumbles.

He squeezes his eyes tight as he waits for Minseok to belittle him, but instead, he gets a gentle, ‘Really?’ He nods and looks up, feeling more relaxed once he sees Minseok’s soft smile. Minseok bumps their shoulders and says, ‘If you want I can help you confess, too.’ Jongdae shoots him a grateful look as he giggles. ‘You’d be so cute together.’

‘Thanks, hyung.’ Minseok continues to smile at him, and Jongdae wonders if the butterflies in his stomach are from excitement or something else.

It doesn’t really matter because with Minseok’s support, he’s suddenly more eager to confess to Yixing.

(And it doesn’t take long for him to muster the courage to attempt to ask him out again. With Minseok encouraging him, he feels like he could take on the world.)

Jongdae’s first attempt fails miserably when he finds Yixing shamelessly flirting with Luhan in some secluded corner of the gardens and Jongdae runs back to the Gryffindor common room looking as pale as a ghost. And when he says flirting, he means inappropriate touching that leaves a scarring mental image burned to the back of his eyelids, but he doesn’t tell his friends that he caught them feeling each other up because he wants to avoid all the looks of pity he knows he’d get.

Later that evening, Chanyeol reassures him that Yixing and Luhan aren’t actually together (he must have asked round, being in the same house as Luhan and all) but Jongdae still refuses to face Yixing since the incident.

Nevertheless, Jongdae’s Quidditch lessons with Minseok carry on as usual, just in case Jongdae’s (future) skills impress Yixing enough to at least be good friends. Well, that’s what Minseok claims. Jongdae doesn’t really care what the reason is because he’s just glad that he can continue spending time with Minseok.

Minseok is late again.

Fifteen minutes, Jongdae could handle, but it’s starting to reach half past three and the grey sky looks very, very heavy with rain.

He wants to take everything back. It’s been an hour and it’s just started to rain. But maybe Minseok will have a good excuse.

Five more minutes?

There’s still no sign of Minseok. Jongdae is getting cold and fed up. He should leave.

He doesn’t.

When the clock strikes five, Jongdae gets up, grabs his broom, and walks away. He decides that there’s no use coming back tomorrow. Or the day after that.

Minseok must have forgotten him.

(Less than five minutes later, Minseok arrives to a very empty and very damp Quidditch pitch, and knows that he’s messed up big time.)

Kyungsoo has noticed that his little Gryffindor friend is feeling under the weather since it’s 4 in the morning on a Saturday and Jongdae is still up and sending him crying emoticons via Facebook Messenger (perks of being a muggleborn and all).

y r u sad turd dae

04:12

You’re not funny

04:12

i am but that’s not the point y r u sad

04:13

Minseok is a butt

04:13

minseok the bf? or differnt minseok?

04:13

???? Boyfriend??? What are you on

04:13

It’s just Minseok my Quidditch teacher friend

04:13

y is he a butt

04:14

He didn’t show up yesterday

04:15

did u talk 2 him?

04:15

dae?

04:19

...Not yet

04:22

ur the butt. u talk to him nd c wut he sayz

04:22

I’m scared

04:22

its ok 2 b scared but u need 2 talk to him nd sort it out

04:22

I meant I was scared of you because of how you type

04:23

c? u r the butt

04:23

but yh talk 2 him nd ull b gud dw

04:24

Okay. Thanks, Soo

04:24

no pbr

04:24

now lemme sleep

04:24

Grey. That’s all Jongdae can really see. He doesn’t really know why the Gryffindor colours don’t look as bright as they were earlier, and he really doesn’t understand why all of his energy has been drained. Where has it gone? Why did it leave? Why can’t it come back and just help him confess the Yixing?

He doesn’t really want to leave his comfortable bed either, but he needs to talk to Minseok (because Kyungsoo said so and Kyungsoo is always right) and he has to motivate himself since all of his roommates have left for the summer.

Come on, Jongdae, get out of bed. You can do this, Jongdae, you can leave the comfort of your comfortable bed... and its comfortable pillows… and its comf...ortable… ZZZzzzzz…

Yeah. He fell asleep.

Jongdae wakes around noon, feeling slightly better than earlier that morning, but realises that someone else is in the room, hovering by the door and watching him with uncertainty.

‘Did I wake you up?’ Minseok asks.

Jongdae nods as he sits up and rubs his eyes. ‘It’s fine,’ he yawns. When Minseok doesn’t move, he looks him straight in the eye and says more softly, ‘Minseok, it’s really fine, I want to talk with you anyway.’

‘Okay,’ Minseok whispers before taking cautious steps towards Jongdae’s bed. (The sleepy Gryffindor is relieved to remember that he is fully clothed because talk about what a cliché that would be.)

They stay like that, Jongdae sat on his bed still half asleep and Minseok standing awkwardly next to him looking like he’s torn between fleeing and vomiting his words, in silence.

‘I’m sorry,’ Minseok murmurs eventually, staring down the floor, ‘for yesterday.’ From his harsh whisper to his balled fists, Jongdae can tell his friend is trying hard not to cry, especially when he notices a tear glisten from the corner of his eye.

‘Okay.’

‘I don’t want you to forgive me or anything...’ He pauses to let out a shaky breath and look up, like he’s searching for the right words. ‘But I want to show you my explanation at least.’

‘Okay.’

‘I promise it’s not an excuse, but it’s just so you know why.’

‘I know.’ Jongdae stares at him, and he surprises himself with how calm he is. Maybe it’s because he’s relieved that Minseok wanted to talk to him too. ‘I trust you when you say that.’

Minseok blinks at him. ‘Okay,’ he says quietly. ‘No yelling?’

‘No yelling,’ Jongdae promises. ‘There’s no point in yelling. I am mad at you, but you apologised and I accept your apology. There’s nothing more to it.’

Minseok lets out a sigh of relief, ‘Thank you,’ and a wobbly smile.

‘Can I- Can I have a hug?’ Jongdae asks tentatively when he sees that Minseok’s shoulders are still tensed and stiff, and he lets his face relax when Minseok collapses next to him and holds onto him tightly.

‘I’m really really sorry,’ he cries quietly.

‘I know, hyung.’

Jongdae laughs lightly when he realises he fell asleep again. Going to bed at half past four in the morning probably wasn’t the best idea he’s had, but an ear-to-ear grin spreads across his face when he wakes to Minseok’s arms around his neck.

Minseok seems less amused by the situation when he realises it’s raining and it’s way into the afternoon.

‘I don’t get what the big deal is,’ Jongdae says when Minseok sits up abruptly and turns to stare at him with wide eyes.

‘We need to hurry or Hagrid will kill me!’

‘What?’

‘Get dressed first and I’ll explain!’

Minseok doesn’t actually explain until they stop running, at which point they’re both too out of breath to talk, but Jongdae really wants to know why they tore through the halls and gardens of Hogwarts at breakneck speed just to reach the edge of the Forbidden Forest. In the bloody rain.

Although Voldemort is dead, and has been for a while, other threats may lurk in between the black trunks of the tall, looming spectre-like trees. It’s an eery place that Jongdae likes to stay away from, even if Professor McGonagall says it’s safe.

‘Do... we... have to.. go... there?’ Jongdae pants, looking at Minseok with pleading eyes.

Minseok nods. ‘It’s not much further.’ Which is true, but even if the route through the trees is clear of any potential dangers and free of all rain, Jongdae feels relief wash over him when they reach a clearing.

It’s a strange clearing, though, because a short wooden fence runs around it and a red-bricked cottage sits in the centre, the two separated by burnt grass with the occasional patches of bright green grass from where vibrant and soft flowers grow tall.

‘Um, Minseok?’

But the Gryffindor says nothing as he leads Jongdae down the path to the front door, holding onto his hand tightly. It’s only once they reach the door that Minseok stops and turns to Jongdae to say, ‘There are two baby dragons inside this cottage.’

Jongdae’s mouth opens and freezes at the awkward point where he’s about to say ‘Oh’ but doesn’t. He gulps. ‘Actual. Dragons?’ At Minseok’s nod, he takes a deep breath and leans against the wall to steady himself.

‘Are you okay?’ Minseok frowns.

‘Potentially hyperventilating because I’ve never been so excited in my life,’ Jongdae offers, staring into nothing, ‘but otherwise yes, very very very okay.’ He looks up to grin at Minseok and asks, ‘Is this why you were late?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Okay. A+ explanation.’

Minseok smiles and bumps their shoulders. ‘Ready to meet some dragons?’

Jongdae’s eyes light up with excitement as he nods enthusiastically ‘Yes!’ and when Minseok laughs, finally, all of the colour comes flooding back and the butterflies are flying again and the sun is shining again and Jongdae feels lighter than ever.

It’s only once they leave the cottage that Jongdae realises he never once let go of Minseok’s hand.

Jongdae dedicates the rest of his summer to spending time with Minseok, with their Quidditch lessons sometimes organising trips to Tomes and Scrolls, sometimes going into Hogsmeade just for tea, or sometimes just taking long naps together. Most days are spent looking after their baby dragons: Xiumin the Chinese Fireball and Chen the Hebridean Black, who turn out to still be the size of a hand, love breathing fire (thus the burnt grass) but have a weak spot for flowers.

(Minseok tells him that they were picked up by Charlie Weasley after he found them in an abandoned smuggler’s den, that Hagrid took them in and asked Minseok to help him raise them, given his interest in looking after Magical Creatures.)

It makes Jongdae ridiculously happy, but for the first week after their reconciliation, a lingering feeling of having forgotten something important nags Jongdae.

Minseok reminds him during one of their frequent visits to the cottage.

‘So… about Yixing...’ he starts hesitantly as they leave the Gryffindor common room.

‘That’s it!’ Jongdae exclaims, startling one of the nearby paintings out of their slumber.

‘What?’

‘I’d forgotten about Yixing!’ He exhales happily. ‘I’m glad I remembered.’

‘You forgot… about him?’ Minseok frowns, but he seems more incredulous than anything else. He shakes his head. ‘Anyway, um, he’s got a boyfriend.’

‘Okay.’ Then, ‘Oh.’ Followed by, ‘Huh.’

Minseok sighs, ‘You’ve lost me.’

‘I thought I’d be more disappointed than that,’ Jongdae shrugs. ‘Is it that Luhan guy? Because I saw them snogging once and that was pretty gross.’

‘Uh, yeah… Wait what do you mean more disappointed than that?’

‘I mean I sort of already knew and it’s not my business, so it doesn’t really affect me anymore.’

‘Oh.’

Jongdae doesn’t know if he imagines the tiny blooming smile on Minseok’s face, but it doesn’t really matter because Minseok makes him happy and they’re going to see their dragons.

(And even when Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Baekhyun all get back a week before term starts, Jongdae still hasn’t gotten over the initial excitement of looking after two tiny baby dragons. Minseok repeatedly calls him cute and he doesn’t know why loves it but he just does.)

‘I’m not going,’ Minseok says. They, being a merge of Jongdae and Minseok’s group of friends, Beagle Line, Junmyeon and a 5th year Gryffindor called Sehun, both of whom Jongdae’s annoying best friends have taken a liking to, have invaded a corner of Madam Pudifoot’s Tea Shop as they discuss the upcoming party for 7th years only. (‘It’s to get rid of the 6th years,’ Junmyeon says, sipping his tea and ignoring Chanyeol’s offended cries.) ‘Are you, Myeon?’

Junmyeon nods. ‘Yeah, Kris wants to show Yixing and me that he can actually dance.’

Minseok tries to muffle his snort, but Junmyeon notices and shoots him a lopsided grin.

‘Oh! Speaking of Yixing, he and Luhan broke up.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’

Everyone turns to stare at Jongdae. The Gryffindor student is completely oblivious, his nose scrunched in concentration as he tries to retrieve his scone from Sehun’s plate. The little shit stole it. When he finally looks up, he freezes, suddenly feeling very awkward. ‘What?’ he says through a mouthful of cream-slathered scone.

‘Yixing and Luhan broke up.’

‘Sho?’ He swallows. ‘Sorry, so?’ He cocks his head.

‘So?’ Kyungsoo echoes, dodging one of Chanyeol’s unintentional elbow attacks. ‘They broke up.’

‘Yeah? And?’

‘Don’t you feel affected?’

‘Well, no,’ Jongdae says,. ‘Their business, not mine.’

‘But we thought you liked him!’ Baekhyun exclaims.

‘Oh. I’m over him,’ Jongdae admits, unconsciously flicking his gaze towards Minseok (it goes unnoticed since everyone is paralysed in shock) before he smiles sheepishly at Baekhyun and goes back to stuffing his face with another scone.

His friends only start believing him when Yixing asks him out that evening and he says no.

He says no because a) he’s already planned something with Minseok, b) he really needs to find his favourite socks because Junmyeon made them himself and Jongdae promised he’d wear them on the first day back (plus they’re really soft and they bring him good luck and why the fuck can’t he find them), but mainly because c) he can’t bring himself to feel excited about going out with him.

Maybe he really is over him.

It’s not a big deal, anyway.

Saturday morning, Sehun dominates the breakfast conversation and Jongdae can’t do anything to stop it (because he has no authority over the little shit). He’s too busy worrying about Minseok who seems to be nursing a headache, flinches whenever someone speaks up and shies away every time Jongdae even breathes, but Sehun is so noisy it’s impossible to focus.

To Jongdae: ‘Can you please stop slurping your cereals? You’re being noisy.’

To Minseok: ‘Today I think Tao hyung and I are going to practise some charms with Kris hyung.’

To Jongdae: ‘Stop slurping your cereals, bloody hell.’

To Minseok: ‘Junmyeon said he’d take me to Diagon Alley next week to shop for the new school year. He says he feels bad that I wasn’t allowed to go to the party last night.’ (Jongdae glares at him and hisses, ‘Favouritism.’)

To Jongdae: ‘I told you not to slurp them! Now you’ve got milk dribbling down your chin.’

To Minseok: ‘How can you call this klutz cute?’ (Jongdae blushes at Minseok’s comment.) ‘He’s gross.’

Sehun doesn’t have time to elaborate to Jongdae’s relief because someone slides into the gap between Jongdae and Minseok and Sehun’s words trail into nothing. The newcomer fixates Jongdae with determined eyes, but he wrings his hands anxiously, giving away his nerves.

‘Yixing, hi,’ Jongdae greets, eyes wide and blinking rapidly. He tries not to gape but it’s difficult because he can’t imagine why Yixing would be here. Yet he is. Strange.

‘Hey guys, hey Jongdae. Um, can I talk to you privately?’ the Hufflepuff says,a sense of urgency making his voice lower to an almost-whisper. ‘Actually no, you’ll tell them anyway… Here goes, then. I was just wondering if you’d go out with me. I know you already said no! But please hear me out. I mean, Minseok already had to convince me to ask you again, so please hear me out?’ Jongdae’s head whips towards his friend, who strangely enough is boring holes in his lap, stubbornly refusing to look up, like he’s purposely avoiding Jongdae’s gaze.

Jongdae opens his mouth before Yixing cuts him off, ‘I know you’ve liked me for a while and I never gave it a shot because I had Luhan but now I know that we don’t work, so I really want to try with you. Just one date! And if you’re free we could even go out this afternoon, as soon as possible. Whenever suits you. Just please, please give me a chance.’ He finishes his plea with his bottom lip jutting out, showing off his infamous dimple, and eyes glimmering with faint tears.

Like a goldfish, Jongdae’s mouth opens and closes, but all noises get caught at the back of his throat and he only manages a shaky, ‘Just one?’

Yixing nods vigorously.

Suddenly, a soft voice speaks up, ‘One wouldn’t hurt.’ Minseok’s right, one wouldn’t hurt, but what does hurt is the way his friend still refuses to meet his gaze, the way his head hangs low like he’s ashamed of something, the way his voice is so raspy and quiet it sounds like nothing more than a broken whisper.

But Minseok makes him weak, which is why Jongdae hears himself choke out, ‘Okay,’ even if he doesn’t really want to. And he wonders if it’s worth it, because not even Yixing’s dazzling beam is enough to make up for the pang of loss he feels when Minseok gets up suddenly and leaves without a word.

‘Agh!’ Jongdae screams in frustration, tugging on his hair like he’s about to rip it out.

‘What’s going on?’ Minseok demands as he comes barrelling in, eyes wide and hair dishevelled. ‘What’s wrong? Why are you screaming?’ (It’s strange that all of a sudden he’s back to caring instead of ignoring.)

Jongdae groans and falls onto his bed, limply and face first, and mumbles into his pillow, ‘I can’t find my socks.’ He looks to the side to see Minseok watching him with concern etched into his face. ‘They’re my lucky pair.’

His friend shuffles over to sit behind him, and Jongdae feels himself leaning towards him from the dip in the bed. ‘Your room’s a mess,’ Minseok says softly, poking Jongdae’s cheek. ‘No wonder you can’t find them.’

‘You’re not helping, hyung!’ Jongdae whines and bats his hand away. ‘My date’s going to be shit if I don’t find them!’ He huffs, twisting on his side until he’s no longer facing Minseok. ‘It’s going to be shit no matter what, I shouldn’t even bother,’ he mutters darkly.

‘What makes you say that?’ Minseok sounds genuinely confused as well as slightly indignant.

‘I don’t even like him!’

‘What?’ The shock is real. ‘Then why the fuck did you say yes?’

Jongdae flails on his bed and cries out, ‘I don’t know!’ And his voice breaks and his throat catches and his fist clenches and he sounds so so so tired as a hollow laugh escapes him. ‘I don’t know.’

Minseok hesitates, Jongdae can see the cogs of his mind whirring as he thinks. But eventually, he runs a hand through Jongdae’s hair and asks him softly, ‘Do you still want to go?’

Jongdae finds himself leaning into the touch, his eyes fluttering shut as salty tears sting his eyes. ‘I’m not sure,’ he whispers hoarsely, ‘It might be fun.’

Suddenly, the warm hand on Jongdae’s forehead is pulling back as Minseok shuffles until they’re lying side by side and facing each other. ‘When’s your date?’ he asks, pushing away a strand of hair falling onto Jongdae’s eyes. ‘I could help you get ready.’

‘At four.’ Minseok hums. ‘But can we stay like this?’ Jongdae pleads. ‘I feel calmer with you here.’

‘Of course,’ Minseok smiles. Jongdae doesn’t understand why his heart skips a beat, so he ignores it, smiles back, and snuggles into his pillow.

But that does nothing to stop his lips from trembling and his eyes squinting shut to hold back a fresh wave of tears.

‘What’s wrong?’ Minseok asks, reaching out to hold Jongdae’s hand, eyebrows furrowed and eyes big with worry.

Jongdae takes in a ragged breath. ‘I have a question for you,’ he starts, keeping his eyes closed, and at Minseok’s whisper of acknowledgement he continues. ‘Why did you ignore me this morning?’ He tentatively opens one eye and watches as the colour drains from Minseok’s face and his friend tenses up.

He stays silent at first, but eventually he says, ‘I sort of fucked up at the party last night.’ His gaze flits around Jongdae’s face furtively, never really resting but always staring at him, and his mouth opens (Jongdae knows it’s because he’s thinking of what to say next). ‘I, uh, I said some things that I shouldn’t have said and… um I don’t actually know who heard, so I’m sort of scared of everyone now.’

Jongdae frowns. ‘But I wasn’t there.’

Minseok’s gaze lowers as he replies in a small voice. ‘I said stuff about you.’

‘What?’

‘Not bad stuff. But… private stuff.’

‘How private?’

Minseok hesitates, before sitting up and looking away from Jongdae. ‘So private it’s stuff you don’t know.’ He pauses. ‘Maybe I should go.’

‘Wait, I’m still confused, please stay? If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine, but at least help me get ready for my date?’ It’s a promise to not press the matter further despite his curiosity. Jongdae thinks it might be his imagination but Minseok seems to pull a pained face. ‘Please?’

Finally, Minseok sighs. ‘Okay. But let me take a nap first. There’s an informal Quidditch practice this afternoon and I need all the energy I can get.’

‘Of course.’

And Jongdae releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Minseok lies down again and slips his hand into Jongdae’s, their faces so close that their noses touch.

‘I think you’ll have fun on your date,’ Minseok whispers, ‘You’re perfect for each other.’

Jongdae doesn’t understand why those words sound so horribly wrong coming from him of all people.

Jongdae wakes up so late that he leaves without even looking for his socks (Minseok tosses him one of Jongdae’s so-fancy-it-can-only-be-worn-once-in-a-blue-moon jackets before he leaves just to make him look a little classier) and he makes it just on time.

It’s not like he was going to miss out on that much.

The start of the date is nothing exceptional, considering it’s just Yixing rambling about Quidditch as they make their way to Madam Pudifoot’s Tea Shop, so Jongdae doesn’t know whether he should confess to Yixing or not.

Everything tells him that he shouldn’t, since he’s clearly not attracted to him romantically. His heart beats at a normal rate no matter how much Yixing’s touch lingers on his hand, his smiles are no different than the ones he shares with Baekhyun (and he’s definitely not attracted to Baekhyun, the thought makes him shudder), and he’s starting to think of Yixing the same way he thinks of Junmyeon: a smoll brother who must be protected at all costs. Why should he confess to Yixing when his words would only be empty?

But he liked him for so long… Maybe those feelings will come back?

Jongdae is so deep in thought that he doesn’t realise that Yixing has stopped, having already reach their destination, and he runs into him quite violently, falling to the ground and landing on his arse with a loud and painful thud. ‘Ow.’ He winces as he tries to get up, while Yixing stifles a giggle.

‘You dropped your socks.’

‘Socks? What the fuck are you talking about?’ Jongdae groans as he stands up, brushing dust off his clothes.

Yixing chuckles, shakes his head, and jabs a finger at the ground. ‘Those socks.’

And sure enough, lying on the ground is a pair of neatly folded black socks.

‘My socks!’ Jongdae gasps. ‘I’ve been looking for them everywhere!’ When he notices a teasing smirk play across Yixing’s lips, he rolls his eyes. ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. laugh! These socks are very precious!’

‘I wonder what they were doing in your pocket,’ the Hufflepuff muses.

Jongdae wonders too, but the thought of his socks brings him back to his conversation with Minseok earlier that day, and he can’t help the blush that creeps up his neck as he remembers every single detail and suddenly he wants to slap himself for being so oblivious, because the signs were all there, and it’s all so clear now, he knows why this date was bound to be a flop from the star, it’s obvious. His heart feels lighter at the realisation.

He turns to Yixing, grinning, his mind suddenly made up.

Yes, he decides. He is definitely going to confess.

The moment he gets back to Hogwarts, Jongdae tears down the path and bursts into the Quidditch field where he knows Minseok is practising.

'Minseok! I found my socks!' he yells out from down below, not caring that pretty much all four Quidditch teams are up in the air with him.

Minseok comes swooping down looking at Jongdae with confusion. ‘What?

‘I found my socks!’ he pants with a lopsided smile.

Minseok stares at him blankly, before sighing in exasperation and rolling his eyes. ‘Did you just interrupt Quidditch practice because you found your socks,’ he deadpans.

Jongdae ignores the glares he receives from all the other players who have joined them on the ground, and waves his socks in the air. ‘Yeah! Look!’

‘Jongdae. Couldn’t it have waited?’

The Gryffindor shakes his head vigorously. ‘No, because it got me thinking.’ He grins, his face nearly splitting in half. ‘I was looking for them everywhere, and it was only when I stopped looking for them that I found them! It’s funny how we find things. When I think about it, they were hiding in a really obvious place, but I was looking too closely so I missed them. Then I settled for a pair that was nowhere near as good and even though I knew I didn’t like them I thought that maybe they’d have to do for the rest of my life because I’d never be able to find my favourite socks ever again.’

‘You’re being dramatic.’

‘HyungI hadn’t finished,’ Jongdae whines, pouting and lightly punching Minseok’s arm.

His friend rolls his eyes. ‘Well, finish.’

‘But now that I’ve found my socks, I can be happy for as long as I want.’ He grins. ‘You’re my socks Minseok.’

Minseok’s jaw drops. ‘What the fuck are you talking about.’

‘You’re my favourite socks!’

‘What.’

It’s Jongdae’s turn to roll his eyes, but the grin never falters from his face. ‘I like you.’

‘You like me.’

‘Yes.’

Minseok pinches his nose. ‘You’re telling me that you interrupted Quidditch practice because you found your socks, to then compare me to said socks, and tell me you like me?’

‘Yes.’

Minseok punches his shoulder (but it’s light and Jongdae knows that it’s more of a friendly nudge than anything). ‘I can’t believe you, I waste my whole summer to get you a boyfriend and then you go and fall in love me?’

‘It was like two weeks of your summer, but yes.’

‘Can I kiss you?’

If Jongdae’s honest, he thinks Minseok’s voice cracks slightly at the end, but pointing it out is futile because Minseok is staring at him with wide, wide eyes brimming with tears, because Minseok is staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and frustration and even hope? Yes and even hope, and Jongdae knows for sure because Minseok’s hands are trembling ever so slightly and he’s got this big smile on his face but his lips keep twitching and Jongdae realises that he’s trying to fight back an even wider grin.

Jongdae’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much but he can’t help it as he replies,‘Yes.’

They meet somewhere in the middle, with smiles so wide that their teeth clash and fingers interlacing with strands of soft hair and foreheads pressed together until noses bump and hearts ready to burst from their chests.

‘I like you too.’

Jongdae decides that he really loves how Minseok’s lips are sweeter than anything he could’ve imagined, but that he especially loves how breathless Minseok sounds because of him.

(And from somewhere across the field, Professor Longbottom yells out, ‘Ten points to Gryffindor!’ as the Quidditch players explode with rowdy cheers.)

Jongdae really likes Minseok. He likes watching him play Quidditch, likes raising baby dragons together, likes cuddling with him when they take long naps on lazy Sunday afternoons. He also really likes kissing him until Minseok blushes bright red and grins at him like he's on Cloud 9.

Jongdae really likes Minseok, and he really likes that Minseok likes him back.

Happy Jongdae is happy.

(Minseok eventually tells Jongdae what happened at the party, to explain why he acted so weirdly.)

Minseok is tipsy and he can’t stop talking about Jongdae.

‘He’s got this cute lil’ smile,’ he slurs, grinning widely, ‘where his lips kinda make him look like a kitty cat. So cutey cutey cute. Hehe.’ He thinks he’s talking to Junmyeon, and maybe Yixing too, but he’s not sure because it’s so dark. ‘And when he pouts he looks like he’s five and you just want to kiss him because he’s so adorbs.’ He gasps. ‘I should call him Jongdorbs!’

‘Would he like that?’ someone asks. Is it Yixing? Is it Junmyeon? Maybe it’s Kris. Minseok really can’t tell.

He giggles. ‘Maaaaaybe. Maaaaaybe not. If he doesn’t, he’ll probably whine and shake his head.’ He giggles again. ‘When he does that his hair flies everywhere. It’s funny. Hihi. He has very pretty hair. It’s so fluffy.’ Someone (Yixing? or is it Junmyeon) excuses himself to go get something to drink.

The-One-Who-Might-Be-Junmyeon-But-Who-Might-Be-Yixing tilts his head and asks, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’

It takes a while for Minseok to answer because it sort of takes him by surprise, and for a brief second, he sobers up enough to think about it seriously, and he thinks of how he sort of wants to find Jongdae and kiss him until he’s dizzy and share goofy smiles like when they share stupid jokes and watch Jongdae dance even if he can’t just so Minseok can step in and dance with him until they collapse on each other in a heap of laughter.

The realisation hits him hard and the sober part of him is relieved that The-One-Who-Might-Be-Yixing-But-Might-Be-Junmyeon isn’t there. But his drunk state means that he can’t stop his answer from slipping out. ‘No but I want him to be.’

And it’s really liberating to admit it, like a weight suddenly lifted from his chest, because he genuinely means it, and suddenly his face explodes into this lovesick and lopsided grin because he realises that he really really likes Jongdae.

He wonders what this is, this feeling where his heart feels like it’s about to burst and where he feels so warm and fuzzy and why is there this sense of thrilling excitement like a rush of adrenaline and this feeling makes everything seem so exhilarating.

He wonders what it is, this feeling of restlessness and of giddy smiles.

Maybe it’s love.